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Posts Tagged “
Safety
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psychology
You Have Hopscotch To Live For
How many times have you gazed out on the subway tracks during your daily commute, wishing only for the sweet release that hurling yourself upon them would provide? Plenty of times; you're reading this site, so we know your job sucks. Some people do throw themselves in front of trains, which represents not only a wasted life, but also a hugely inconvenient municipal clean-up job. So Washington, DC has ordered up some stuff to keep your mind occupied while you're on the platform—games like Hopscotch and "I Spy." The slogan on the games reads "Life is fun. Keep on living. Use caution around the tracks." Perhaps hopscotch was not the wisest choice, then? And let's be honest—the slogan of this campaign should really be, "Anything to Momentarily Distract You From Suicidal Thoughts." After the jump (ha), one of the "I Spy" games. This would only cure a very minimal level of depression: More »
columnists
Andrea Peyser Demands To See X-Ray Cock
The Post's Andrea Peyser, who is like a mix of Ann Coulter, Ed Koch, and a rat with rabies, has a few things she can't stand: liberals, whiners, all things pure and good. Now you can add to that list "millimeter wave technology," an improved airport full-body security scanning method. It sees through clothes and leaves nothing to the imagination! "It's enough to make me rethink my hairstyle. I'm not referring to my head." Gross, Andrea Peyser. Jesus. She watches a woman go through the scan, and cleverly riffs, "The machine also shaved off 15 pounds, a good argument for scanning females." I get it, women are fat! Then, she insists that a man go through, so she can look at his penis: More »
grooming
The Time Has Come For Women To Buy Lasers
After much delay, the future has arrived. Everybody's buying lasers! And, everybody's hairless! If you guessed that these two things are related, you are probably an astute female consumer of laser hair removal services. But now that the world of science fiction is here, you don't have to sit around cold, impersonal cut-rate salons to have some young whippet blast the hair off your body with concentrated pulses of scalding light; you can do it in the comfort of your own home, with no training or safety at all! We can already anticipate the hilarious domestic violence battles that will end with a laser being drawn. Two consumer-targeted lasers, the Tria ($995) and the Silk'n ($800), are about to be launched [WSJ ($)]. Just one slight drawback: these lasers are sexist and racist! More »
journalismism
Nicest Reporter In History Gets Attacked On The Job
In an episode that was simultaneously poignant, noble, and hilariously out of touch, old New York Times reporter David Dunlap—who is always on the lookout for "illegal marketing campaigns"— says he "sensed a story on the evening of the 14th, when I came across two or three young men stapling posters for a new hip-hop album to lampposts." He started taking pictures of them, and they asked him what he was doing. He replied that what they were doing was illegal; then a guy attacked him and smashed his camera [City Room via FishbowlNY]! Dunlap got pushed down and roughed up, but is unharmed. And he refuses to press charges, because he's so grateful that they didn't stomp him out or rob him at the same time! More »
advertising
Nina DiSesa To Bloggers: Stop Attacking Children!
McCann Erickson ad agency exec Nina DiSesa has already made clear her feelings that ad industry bloggers are bitter losers, who bear some responsibility for the suicide of Chicago ad exec Paul Tilley. But in a just-posted new video interview, she expands on the real villains: "The blogs that attack the children." She thinks they should all be outlawed! Quite right, cause there's a lot of ad industry blogs that attack children and stuff, I guess, or something. DiSesa does display her canny understanding of the digital age by acknowledging, "It's fun to have a really good blog on your computer and to engage in it." Okay! The full clip, helpfully titled "Are bloggers dangerous?", is below. More »
safety first
Let The Shootings Begin!
1800 rookie cops—actually, only 900 new ones, if that's really how many graduated from the Academy this year—are being sent out "to patrol high-crime pockets that have resisted the overall crime drop" in New York City. Wait, 900? "That's funny... I only counted about 650 cops at graduation," writes a poster on NYPD Rant, who has some suggestions for questions that reporters might ask of the NYPD. Anyway! The good news: The murder rate is at an astonishing low! So will it work? Or will a bunch of gun-toting youngsters who make $25,100 a year just end up, you know, bumping the murder rate back up? Time will tell! Maybe just don't make any sudden moves on the street starting tomorrow, okay?
safety first
Bike Racks For All At 'NYTimes' Building—But Are The Stairs Up To Code?
Now that New York Times staffers are all settled in their fancy new building with the indoor arboretum and the finicky windowpanes, we wondered what the company might be doing to impress upon employees that their comforts and convenience remain priorities. As it turns out, the Times HR department wants everyone to know they're still listening. "We recently implemented some changes to better suit the needs of our employees," reads today's in-houseTimes newsletter [PDF link]. For instance! Bike racks are promised! Name plate holders for the copy desk too! Also, in the interest of convenience, staircases are now numbered "on the inside railing on each staircase—now when walking between floors you can easily know your location." Pardon us for saying so, but aren't well-marked means of egress, you know, prerequisites to passing city building and fire codes? We decided to poke around in the code to find out, and hey, how about that! They totally are. More »
bike fast, die pretty
Owen Wilson's Death Wish In Plain Sight
Owen Wilson just flew by me down Second Avenue on his trusty bicycle, his adorable dirty hair feathered back, his shirttails flapping, his nose not as freakishly prominent as it sometimes becomes in the proximity of Wes Anderson. The bazillions of stalker sightings we've gotten in the last week of Owen, always on his bike, suggest that perhaps he is on some bizarre biking marathon around New York? (Yesterday: "Owen Wilson almost ran me over on his baby blue beach cruiser"; the day before: "I saw Owen Wilson riding his bike west on Prince St crossing through the intersection of Broadway.") Perhaps someone is holding his brother Luke hostage and demanding that his bike not slow below 20 mph, like some Us Weekly version of "Speed 4"? In any event: SOMEONE PLEASE BUY OWEN WILSON A HELMET. I've always wanted to see inside his crazy head but not literally and his lack of respect for cabs during lane changes is stunning.
wabc
BREAKING: Carnegie Deli Explodes
Just received over the tipline:Carnegie deli just explodedWABC is on the scene, claiming the explosion was actually "near" the famous pastrami emporium, and says no injuries have been reported. Developing. More »
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in the basement
upper east side
Hot Chicks in Pain Rock
New York's dueling tabloids love ladies in distress, and Jennifer Panicali, the 22-years-young woman injured by the Upper East Side explodey townhouse is certainly going through a lot. We wish her nothing but the best as she recovers from having shrapnel removed from 100+ parts of her body. But isn't it odd that both the New York Daily News and New York Post keep obsessing on her looks? Consider "Blast beauty kin thank city" (NYDN) and the typically tasteful "Beauty's Blown Away" (NYP). Since Panicali was a former NYDN intern, they can perhaps be excused a little paternal pride — she's a "beautiful aspiring journalist," and they at least try to mix the physical and the intellectual by twice referring to her as a "brainy beauty." Perhaps she's just naturally smokin', and she must know it, as both papers reported that among her first post-blast words were, "Oh, my God, am I going to be disfigured?". The lesson in soliciting public sympathy for your tragedy is clear: (1) Be attractive. (2) Don't be unattractive. More »
subway
See Someone Saw Someone, Say Something
Because You Demanded It — deranged man attacks subway rider with industrial tools, then absconds with teddy bear on continued crimewave. The Today Show has the goods above. Shocking, as even with the trials and tribulations of a normal New York subway commute, one rarely expects an assault from a pair of cordless reciprocating saws. And there's some question about whether or not MTA workers at the scene fled and/or observed the carnage with bored disinterest. See zone-flooding repetitive linkfest after the jump for full details, but the upshot is that the alleged saw-wielding maniac has been apprehended, and the victim is recovering from his wounds in the hospital. Plus, as Newsday notes, subway officials don't think this will make customers feel unsafe, and they're right — an interviewed straphanger says of the saw attack, "It doesn't happen that often." [emph. added] More »
metro
Soho Stabby
Don Hill's: legendary dive or glitzy underground homo-rock scene? Both, of course, and also a leading exponent of NYC IS (still) EDGY, by way of a brawl and multiple stabbing:Don Hill, the owner of the club, insisted it's not a violent place and that he hasn't had problems in the past.More »
britney spears
Yesterday afternoon we brought you, courtesy of our greasemonkey brother, Jalopnik, word that Britney hadn't really screwed up (this time). Sony BMG put out a press release, as Jalopnik reported, noting that "rear-facing seats are only required if the infant is not more than 20 lbs. Britney's son Sean weighs over 20 lbs." A case of tabloid overreach, it seemed. But then — hold on, Skippy.
More »
Britney: She's Wrong Again!
Yesterday afternoon we brought you, courtesy of our greasemonkey brother, Jalopnik, word that Britney hadn't really screwed up (this time). Sony BMG put out a press release, as Jalopnik reported, noting that "rear-facing seats are only required if the infant is not more than 20 lbs. Britney's son Sean weighs over 20 lbs." A case of tabloid overreach, it seemed. But then — hold on, Skippy.
More »
mta
Reminding You to Keep a Watchful, Ineffective Eye
We hate those MTA vigilante signs all over the subways (at right). Seriously, we "see something" all the fucking time, but it's not like we're going to go hunt down some listless MTA employees just to tell them that Al Qaeda planted an unattended package of rotting KFC under the benches. More »
nightlife
It's Not Easy Being Incredibly Desirable
30-year-old Darcy Smith (left) of South Orange is hot. So hot, in fact, that she can't even knock back a $15 cosmo without being constantly hit on by the suave gentlemen of New York nightlife. Weary of being asked to dance and offered drink after tiresome drink, Smith put a posting on Craigslist looking for a security guard to accompany her and her friends during their nights out on the town. Enter 315-pound Brendan Reed, one of three bodyguards Smith hired to keep the lady-killers at bay. Now, thanks to her personal security detail, Smith can pretend she's J-Lo and enjoy a night out with her girlfriends at Spirit. More »
new york magazine
Remainders: Apocalypse Now
• Eventually, something — a flu, a hurricane, our own government — will wipe out most of humanity. And, much to our surprise, that includes New York. [NYM]• 50 Cent is man enough to cry. And to kill you for laughing at him about it. [Reuters]
• The dying New York Press attempts to revive itself via the modern media adrenaline shot known as a "blog." [Fifth Estate]
• Do we date too often? Too little? More importantly, do we think about this shit too much to ever get laid? [n+1]
• You know what suffix should be used more often? "-iggers." Not that we'd ever be caught saying "chiggers" aloud. [Fawny]
• A nice, Jewish lawyer needs someone to pretend to be his wife for a company function. And so a heart-warming romantic comedy begins. [Craigslist]
• The male nipple might be silly, but it sure does move copy! [Marketwatch]
metro
