Are these the "Free Love Cookies" in question? Or is that some sort of romantic literary reference that sailed over our heads? In any case: As you would expect, Min and Salman's modern friendship blossomed on the Facebook.

Llongots? We don't even know! And what else of Min herself—one doesn't get into Harvard just by loving models and going out with models and being way attractive, you know. It turns out she wrote quite a readable blog! It was called "Mongol Whored." Its most recent entry is from January of 2008, and it's now set to private, but the Google caches everything, you know.

"How do we know this is really Min's blog?" we asked ourselves. Well: "Here's how I roll: me: half Chinese, half Hungarian." And also, for example:

To: Hot Babe
From: Min
Subject: last night
Text: lovely to meet you last night—i had such a wonderful time. though am being punished for our revelry with a merciless hangover. totally worth it, though :) oh my god, smileys are so not my style (incredibly cheesy, no?), but i can't help smiling at some of the shit we pulled last night. we're quite a pair, don't you think?
love to see you again,
xoxo,
m

Steamy! We are fanning ourself—as, we expect, is Salman—over things like, for example:

In the graph of my (ineffectual) picking up men with lascivious intent, it's plotted with desire as the constant, and availability as the variable. There's no fucking mention of time, which I suppose is tied to ideas of decorum and the other things I missed when being raised at wolf-tit. I've had mixed success with my all-hours tactics...

I don't begrudge odd-hour requests of me, either. 19, taking the Greyhound back from Nova Scotia through New Hampshire I was stretched long in my seat, feet dangling in front of me. I woke, shoes and socks off, to the warm lapping on my toes. There was a guilty smile on the man sitting ahead of me, and I sized him up sleepily, not nasty. I thought briefly of the ripeness of my feet, nasty. And I mumbled, "do them evenly, yo."

We too would like 2 B Facebook friends 2 get 2 no U, gurl. Let's have one more.

I was writing, if you remember, about songs that make me wish I was in college again. The song of my senior year, of course, was Nelly's "Hot in Herre." The next year, the first year of my nostalgia, was "Hey Ya," and this year it's "Promiscuous" and "Buttons." I speak of this with my old college roommates, and we wistfully speak of the days where we mixed Red Bull, vodka, and champagne, and called it a cocktail, of dragging ourselves into an 11am sections and thinking it was early, of when scabies and self-loathing were the most serious STDs floating around campus. My musical tastes usually run to the more, well, good, but not in the case of these particular songs, these songs of if not love, then youthful experimentation and inexperience. And the rare moment when I'm walking past a homeless dude selling some acrylic gloves and pleather cellphone holders and I hear "Promiscuous," I think, damn, wish I were in college. But that I'm moved to undulate, grinding with an imagined partner on W 23rd street, reminds me, hey, maybe it's a good thing you're not in college anymore, maybe it's some sort of silver lining blessing kinda thing, maybe college Min couldn't have handled this kinda shit. Now I hear "Promiscuous," and think, damn, shame that I'm missing making out with 20 year olds to this song, but I probably saved myself an abortion or ten.

We totally like that song, too—and its message. Salman Rushdie, you are one charismatic fella.

• She Loves Models: "My name is Min Lieskovsky, I'm 26, and I'm addicted to male models. I've dated six of the world's top models, as ranked by Models.com," she wrote in Elle Girl. Perhaps her tastes have, ah, changed, a bit? "My secret to dating male models is simple: Tell them they're smart," she writes. Or, date a smart guy, and tell him he's attractive!
• She Is Quite a Hottie, if She Does Say So Herself: Let's pull more from that same Elle Girl story, which is truly a unique window into the psyche of Min Lieskovsky. "Each male model I dated told me he had never met a girl like me: smart, but easy to talk to; nerdy, but still pretty hot." Interesting. Are you in fact pretty hot? "I have long harbored fantasies of being a model," she says, but goes on to clarify, with admirable humility, "At 5'6" and 130 pounds, I consider myself quite a fox, but I'm not model material." Actually, she could have been a model if she weren't such a rebel: "the popular boys in my school who ranked hot girls said they'd have put me at No. 1 if I hadn't shaved my head or worn lederhosen."
• She Went to School, You Know, In Boston: "And while, with a Harvard diploma, I had entrée to a career of my choice, there was something very attractive about the idea of achieving fame with very little effort." Her thesis was about Cambodian genocide: "I'm really interested in human capabilities, which is why I'm interested in poetry, music, stuff like that. Genocide is just another one of those human capabilities, it's how you basically live death."
• She's Finally Listening to Her Mother: "Then I remember that men display identical tastes to mine, preferences that tend toward the young and professionally pulchritudinous. Women my mother's age have told me to find a man who would be a good father and provider, meaning: food, shelter, a steady income-stability. I smile and refrain from telling them that I can afford my own food and rent and that my friends and family give me support and love. About the only thing that I can't give myself is that flush of excitement upon locking eyes (and lips) with a really gorgeous guy." Uh huh.
• She Apparently Made Up Her Own Job Title: According to LinkedIn, Min is a "Writing and Ethnographic Marketing Consultant." Uh huh.
• She Enjoys Traveling: She went to Cambodia once with her writer friend! She had a good time. And took pictures. And that's just the beginning: "Lieskovsky's wanderings have taken her across Europe and to a number of South American countries. Along the way, she has partied at the American embassy in Cambodia, bluffed her way into a maximum security prison and learned bank-robbing tips from Long Beach Crips exiled in Cambodia. Lieskovsky isn't anywhere near done. 'I want to go to as many dangerous places as possible,' she says."
• She Has Goals: "'I want to be Angelina Jolie's assistant in Cambodia,' she exclaims."
• Her Friends Love Her: "'I can't think of anything that make her anything like other people. I don't know if she has any human traits really,' says blockmate Jennifer L. Nelson '03."

And there's more: The Facebook Flirting Salman Rushdie Used to Win Min Lieskovsky's Heart

[Pics: Myspace, Friendster]

• So Lindsay Lohan and Donatella Versace showed up with the same hair, messed up pout, and similar outfits at last night's Met International Ball. This is causing a huge media frenzy because, well, no one thinks anyone should look like Donatella. Basically, no one has anything to say but, "Ew, gross." [NYDN, NY Post]
• The first photos of Nicole Richie's little bundle of joy, Sparrow, are out. Yes, it's a boy. Yes, that's his name.
• [People]
• James Gandolfini thinks Elaine Stritch is in love with him. The he calls Alec Baldwin fat. Pots and kettles, people. [P6]
• Hulk Hogan thought about killing himself after his wife left him. That's sadder than the cancellation of American Gladiators. [NYDN]
• Katie Holmes and Renee Zellweger could barely contain themselves to meet Julie Andrews. Katie was excited because she says "we have Mary Poppins and Sound of Music playing in our house a lot right now." We always knew Tom was a show queen! [UK Mirror]
• Kate Gosselin has no clue why her brood is acting out. We're sure it has nothing to do with her divorce, the cameras in their faces being taken away, their father wearing too much Ed Hardy, or her horrible hair. Can't be that. [NYDN]
• John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston are reigniting their on-again-off-again. We kind of find this to be like when mom calls on the phone and tells you boring news about a cousin you never see. [E Online]

[Image via Getty]

Yesterday, Rushdie's ex-fling Pia Glenn told the Post that Rushdie "talk[ed] about Padma day and night," and that he was a dick because she wanted to have his children and he dumped her via e-mail. This is roughly analogous to your drunken ex-girlfriend e-mailing you a vicious screed in the middle of the night, and most adults have learned that the safe, gentlemanly thing to do is do not respond to those e-mails. Salman Rushdie, however, is no gentleman.

So he wrote a lengthy, angry statement to Page Six proving that a) he is a thin-skinned, defensive child, and b) he is absolutely, incontrovertibly, indubitably still in love with Padma Lakshmi. It bears quoting at length:

The reason I broke up with Pia Glenn is that I came to feel that she's an unstable person who carries around a large, radioactive bucket of stress wherever she goes. It was just exhausting to deal with.

Her recent explosions . . . demonstrate that she is also an accomplished liar.

It is hard even to list the untruths in her article. We never lived together — she lived at her father's home in Freeport, LI. We never agreed to have children together. Our relationship lasted five and a half months, so it's hard to see how I 'stole a year' of her life.

What most distresses me, however, is her statement that I am still 'obsessed' with my ex-wife, Padma Lakshmi. When my marriage to Padma ended I was saddened and hurt, that's true, but that was two and a half years ago, and, like any adult, I have accepted the world as it is.

As any of my friends can attest, I long ago turned the page and moved on. It's absurd of Ms. Glenn to say otherwise. I wish Padma nothing but the best, particularly now that she is expecting, and have written to her to congratulate her. End of story.

And the kicker:

Rushdie added in a statement: "She's broke, unemployed . . . and obviously decided to sell me out.

Shouldn't spending a decade or so of your life under constant threat of assassination by a global band of violent fanatics who want to silence you teach you something about what matters in life, and what does not matter? Note to Salman Rushdie: Shit like this does not matter. Stop talking to Page Six. Also, please do not stop talking to Page Six, because post-midlife-crisis dissolutions are fun to write about.

Pia Glenn, a ludicrously tall 32-year-old stage actress, started dating Rushdie in September of 2007; Rushdie dumped her via e-mail (well, he is a writer, right?) in June. On Sunday, she told the Daily Mail that he was a coward, and today she tells the Post that he still isn't over Padma:

He would talk about Padma day and night. He felt hurt and betrayed by her. He would talk about her so much I'd ask him to stop.

Glenn tried to keep in touch with Rushdie after he dumped her, but they just ended up fighting all the time. "Its clear that he's not interested in friendship now, which calls into question why he was interested in me in the first place," she told the paper. "If I had thought he only wanted me for sex, I would have gotten out immediately."

Yeah, because who'd have thought that a 62-year-old, four-time married novelist who only dates models who are 25 years younger and a full foot taller than him would want a woman for sex?

100% straightperson Tom Cruise "made constant, constant unrelated homophobic comments on the set of Risky Business according to Bronson Pinchot, who played Balki Bartokomous on the 80's sitcom Perfect Strangers. Balki says Cruise "always talked about himself like he was a mega-superstar" and called his co-stars by their characters' names off-camera. Oh, also, Balki has some straight to video DVD or something coming out. [Onion]

Octomom told her paparazzi friends that she thinks Jon Gosselin is way hot. This could lead to the most awesome media freak show train wreck of all time. Jon has been going for 20-something casting call reject types since his divorce, but the potential publicity surrounding an Octomom encounter might convince Jon to go for her. He just lost his show and fame has always seemed to be his first love. They could start dating and pitch some bizarre eighteen headed monstrosity of a reality show. It would be like a very 2009 version of The Brady Bunch. It would sure pay for a whole lot of Ed Hardy gear. [E! Online]

Salman Rushdie is a "cowardly, dysfunctional and immature" man who breaks up with women over e-mail and is still obsessed with his former flame Padma Lakshmi. All of this information comes to us courtesy of Rushdie's latest ex, Broadway actress Pia Glenn, who is clearly over it and in a very healthy place now. [Page Six]

Britney Spears' next video is an "ode to threesomes." If this blatant ploy for attention doesn't work, Britney might have to start shaving her head and going on umbrella rampages again. [Page Six]

Judges want Roman Polanski to stay in jail while the US government works on getting him extradited from Switzerland to face his conviction for raping a 13 year-old girl in 1977. A Swiss court denied Polanski bail and house arrest because they say the 76 year-old director poses a high flight risk. Polanski has lots of famous friends who think he shouldn't serve time because he makes nice art, has lots of money, and hangs out with them at parties. Some of his sympathetic celebrity buddies might have private planes, so keeping Polanski locked up is probably smart. [NYT]

Balloon Boy's dad Richard Heene was reported to child services a few years back. Heene responded by trying to take out a restraining order on the former business associate who made the report. It seems Heene doesn't mind dealing with the reptilian alien shadow government if they can help him harass his enemies. [TMZ]

• Yesterday, we reported: "Susan Boyle's BACKINYOFACE, mothafuckas!" And now we're sad to report: Susan Boyle's "exhausted" again. She pulled out of a Manchester tour date because she wasn't feelin' it. This can't be good. I mean, let's just say what needs to be said here: the woman always kind of felt a little, well, off. It was her quirk and naivety of fame that did the whole "capture our hearts" thing, so, you know, you'd think: these things would be something to watch out for, indicators of some lack of preparedness for the fame she achieved two seconds after she stepped off that stage the first time. And now, here we are: a tired woman, being driven crazy by too much at once. Sigh. [TMZ]
  
  
• Still can't get over the Dustin Lance Black photos, if only because I'm trying to remember which other non-acting Oscar winners have had photos of them leaked. Really, this entire thing is just a solid Jeopardy answer in the making. Anyway: Black released a statement in response to the photos leaking, in which he apologizes for not practicing safe sex. "More important than the embarrassment of this incident is the misleading message these images send. I apologize and cannot emphasize enough the importance of responsible sexual practices." [E!]
  
  
• WTF. Cindy Adams wrote two pages for the Post this morning on how to stash cash away. Sample line: "You can glue single bills flat inside luggage lining — providing your suitcase is classy enough for a lining and you don't mind the inconvenience of then ripping that bag to shreds to get the paste off the money." Uh, thank you, Crazy Aunt Cindy? Next week, Neel Shah teaches you how to beat a dude with a lead pipe. [Page Six]
  
  
• Har! Salman Rushdie tore the shit up 'out the dance floor at a party the other night. Noteth Page Six, poetry in motion: "'She had heels on, so he only came up to her breasts,' laughs our source. 'With her low-cut dress and his bald head, when he's dancing with her he looks like her third boob.'" Oh, come on. That's funny. [Page Six]
  
  
• Prince Harry's new ladyfriend is a total starfucker. She dated Russell Brand at one point, and one time she had a "romp" in a hot tub with Jack Osbourne and another girl. A "romp," from what I understand, is a funny British word for "sex that isn't really sex" (as opposed to a "snog" which is definitely sex, or a "muggle" which is a non-magical person). [News Of The World]
  
  
• Colin Ferrell needs more bodyguards to protect him from all the paparazzi headed his way. I mean, really? Colin Ferrell? [Rush & Malloy]
  
  
• Michael Phelps is still rocking some kind of porn stache. It's fantastic. [TMZ]
  
  
• Craig Ferguson almost killed himself before running into the friend who would help him have the career he has now. ""I felt worse than I ever had. ... I was a drunk, a loser and a disaster as a human being. ... The shame was immense. It pushed down on me like a terrible weight." Wow. [Rush & Malloy]
  
  
• Ron Burkle denied everything Mark Ebner wrote about him on his blog that didn't make it into Ebner's book on Burkle, which mostly amounts to an "omitted chapter," a salacious little bit where Burkle calls in prostitutes for a girl-on-girl show. Ebner once wrote an article on the Church of Scientology, where, for the purposes of full-disclosure, he wrote: "I am an ex-drug addict who has solicited prostitutes in my day. I've also masturbated and inhaled at the same time, and I have been arrested more than once in my life. I dropped out of high school and I've been under psychiatric care." Here's the thing, Mark: you're not a celebrity! Not even the Scientologists care! Too much full disclosure. TMI. Seriously. [Page Six]
  
  
• Ryan Seacrest and Simon Cowell emerged from a strip club Friday night covered in lipstick. Cute. [P*r*z H*lt*n]

• Tonight: the Met Costume Institute Gala! But "the Trinity"—Naomi Campbell, Linda Evangelista, and Christy Turlington—will not be there! Why? Because they hate Kate Moss! And because they all have various other good excuses, probably, or at least Christy is out of the country filming a documentary or something. Also basically no one is going to this damn gala! Not Karl Lagerfeld, Dolce, or Gabbana! But still, Page Six says even though no one is going it will still be a wonderful Gala, the most beautiful one in history. They are so conflicted this morning! [NYP]
• Madonna probably won't get her second Malawi Baby. Where were we just reading about how Josephine Baker just bought a bunch of "orphans"? New York or something? Anyway. They all turned out fine! Now random dudes in Malawi are giving quotes to the tabloids. Alert Thomas Friedman. [DailyStar]
• John Mayer blah blah girlfriend blah blah fuck John Mayer. Also: acrobats! [NYDN]
• Maggie Gyllenhaal married famed Swiss actor Stellan Skarsgard. No, wait, Peter Sarsgaard, whoever the fuck that is. She is changing her name to "Maagie Gaalenhaalsgaard." Also: "Originally posted Monday May 04, 2009 08:30 PM EDT" Is... is that possible? How hungover are we? [People]
• Some lady told her friend to "keep away from the lecherous old guy" at a club in the Meatpacking District. Breaking! Oh, wait, the "lecherous old guy" was Salman Rushdie. Whatever. This never happened. [NYP]
• Some woman claiming to be USA Today founder Al Neuharth's lovechild can get her letters published in Page Six. [NYP]
• Sugar Ray is getting back together, and some Page Sixer has an attitude about it, as if she doesn't still know all the words to "Fly" and that one that sounded just like "Fly." Still no word on Smash Mouth, Len, or LFO. Well, there is probably plenty of word on what they are up to, but who wants to look? At some point, we'll just turn on the radio and find out. Chilled out summer jams forever! (FYI no one buys records or listens to the radio anymore. Sorry, Mark McGrath and dude from Smash Mouth.) [NYP]
• "GEORGINA Bloomberg keeps galloping on in her quest to make the US Olympic equestrian team in 2012." Ugh. [NYP]
• Sad things are happening in Los Angeles. [NYP]

Ron Burkle: Our tipster reports: "Ronny Burkle was lurking around the William Rast show last night with his pal Danny A. (Model wrangler extraordinaire who is BFF with Leo DiCaprio. Danny A. is the guy who is mostly responsible for filling Burkle's jet with attractive females.) A cloud of around 15 teenage girls swarmed Justin Timberlake (Rast is his label) as he left the show; I can't imagine Burkle was far behind." Yea, if he looked more dashing he might be able to get away with it. But that ratlike visage just sinks him. Give it up, Burkle.


Bill Clinton: You need to stop hanging out with Ron Burkle first of all, Bill! Even a serious Bill fan who considered the whole blowjob-in-the-Oval-Office thing to be really punk rock has got to admit that the time has come for Bill to retire from skirt chasing. (Not that there's any proof he still is!). Now you can enjoy sleeping with the Secretary of State, Bill. Can we call you Bill?


Steve Bing: Real estate heir, big time developer, Hollywood money man, Burkle and Clinton pal. He's 43 and he fathered a baby with Elizabeth Hurley out of wedlock. And he had another paternity battle with his other ex, who was Kirk Kerkorian's gal! All we're saying here is find a nice lady and settle down for fuck's sake. This Burkle-led triumvirate has spent more than enough time being the old dudes up in the club.


Mario Batali: The portly ginger-haired restaurateur enjoys whizzing around on his moped, wearing Crocs, manipulating salamis, traveling about Spain with Gwyneth Paltrow, and doing who knows what to young lasses in the back rooms of restaurants across Manhattan. We like your Olive Oil Ice Cream dude, but you're almost 50, and we just don't want to think about Mario Batali's sexuality. That's all there is to it really.


Ron Perelman: The bald-headed corporate raider is thrice-divorced, richer than god, and prone to playing the field, as many billionaires are. We don't like your looks, your gruff personality, or your shady PR firm, Perelman. When you next get married, consider very carefully whether you would like to stay married to said lucky woman.


But we do like:

Salman Rushdie: Yes, he could be accused of being a creepy old man, what with his hobbit physique and penchant for dating women absurdly out of his league (you would think, at least). But give the man his props. He writes some bitchin' books. Stares down death threats. Then goes out with Padma and, currently, with Pia Glenn, who we saw in Will Ferrell's Broadway show and, we must say, does one mean dance. So Salman Rushdie can't be put down. He's smarter than all the guys above and cavorts with badder women.

According to a New Yorker profile, not online but summarized in the Guardian, McEwan sheltered Rushdie for like a day in a cottage in Cotswolds, England. But it was a critical day, almost immediately after Iranian death sentence for purported blasphemy:

Rushdie was at the start of many years of internal exile. "I'll never forget - the next morning we got up early. He had to move on. Terrible time for him. We stood at the kitchen counter making toast and coffee, listening to the eight o'clock BBC news. He was standing right by my side and he was the lead item on the news. Hezbollah had put its sagacity and weight behind the project to kill him."

McEwan would go on to also totally have the back of Martin Amis after that author said Muslims should be denied travel, deported, strip searched and generally made to "suffer" until "they start getting tough with their children." Which was far worse than any of Rushdie's imagined crimes.

This sort of very public loyalty is why Ian McEwan is almost as famous as Amy Winehouse, and is thus "England's national author," according to the New Yorker. Which is true: Literary merit aside, fights + a posse = press.

"Rushdie's lawyer, Mark Stephens, said Saturday that he had written to the publisher of 'On Her Majesty's Service' [the tell-all, not the Bond novel] demanding it withdraw the book, which has not yet been published.

"Stephens, who also does legal work for The Associated Press, said he wrote to the book's publisher, John Blake Publishing Ltd., on Wednesday asking it to withdraw the book and remove 'the falsehoods relating to our client and his friends, the various statements that invade their privacy and statements about security precautions that remain in place. Unless you are prepared to take these steps, I shall issue proceedings against you,' the letter said.

"The Metropolitan Police said the force could not comment on Evans' allegations, but said in a statement: 'We regret that he chooses to publish this book.' [AP]

My first impression was of someone who was tolerant of me - and no more. I was told I was never to call him Salman: his cover name was Joe.

Bob told me: 'We do all our own cleaning, cooking, shopping and the rest. When we do our shopping, we generally ask Joe if he needs anything. He drinks Michelob or Budweiser beer and eats crap - crisps and comfort food.

'When you go shopping for him, don't give him the receipt. He has no idea how much things cost, so just round things up, if you know what I mean. At the end of two weeks, go and see him and he'll pay you in cash - don't leave yourself short.

Another story from the early days of the fatwa was that the original team with Scruffy got so fed up with his attitude that they locked him in a cupboard under the stairs and all went to the local pub for a pint or two. When they were suitably refreshed they came back and let him out.

Evans was outraged when Rushie said he'd like to write about his undercover adventures one day.

Scruffy said he wanted to publish a book about his life under this death sentence and his experiences of being protected by Special Branch.

It infuriated me. We were protecting him in undoubtedly the most expensive operation of its type ever staged and he wanted to make bucketloads of money by writing about us.

Scruffy was told the book might inflame matters by giving the impression that he was making a profit out of his alleged blasphemy.

Of course, all this is excerpted from Evans' upcoming memoir. More here.

Or maybe Salman doesn't. He has also recently been armcandied by Kay Saatchi, who it might be said resembles nothing less than a blonde, heavyset, English, old and white Padma Lakshmi. Also, Padma might be dating "billionaire Ted Forstmann" but whatever. While Mr. Forstmann has been making love to Padma Lakshmi on a pile of gold-plated diamond-crusted 100 dollar bills,"on Oct. 7 [Rushdie] whooshed up to Ontario to give a lecture 'in the provocative spirit of Bernard Shaw,'" and on October 18th he was in Ithaca. So we all know who the real winner is.

• Britney Spears needs a good smack with the Suze Orman stick. Carrying a $50,000-a-month mortgage when you're taking home $737,868 a month is sooooo stupid. Why will no one teach the young women of today anything about finance? If Britney lives past 50 she'll be eating cat food. Chances that she'll live that long are slim anyway. [Page Six]
  
• Bette Midler tried to get Rolling Stone editor Jann Wenner to cough up money for charity through the shame technique, telling him: "Sell the plane! Sell your fucking plane!" That's crazy! Without it, how could he be a huge hypocrite about global warming? [Rush & Molloy]
  
• Salman Rushdie went as Darth Vader for Halloween. [Page Six]