The Government Is Investigating Chipotle's Diseased Burritos
A terrible year for Chipotle just got worse, with the announcement of a federal criminal investigation into the Mexican chain’s norovirus-laced burrito death bars.
Date Night: Nothing Tastes as Good as Death Feels
Celebrities—they’re just like us: risking life and limb for the taste of a truffle fry.
Fear the Vegetable
Vegetables are not the wholesome foods we once thought. Despite their purported fountain-of-youth properties, it’s become clear that, in the public consciousness at least, America’s real enemy #1 is green and leafy.
Ex-Peanut Executive Gets 28 Years in Prison for Deadly Salmonella Outbreak
The former owner of Peanut Corporation of America was sentenced to 28 years in prison today for his role in a salmonella outbreak blamed for killing nine people and sickening at least 714 more, USA Today reports.
Chipotle: Nothing Tastes as Good as Death Feels
They say Chipotle is fattening, but not if it’s killing you from the inside—how lucky for Mexican food-loving Minnesotans!
Cucumbers: Nothing Tastes As Good as Death Feels
Looking for a low-calorie, refreshing way to hasten your impending death? Why not try a cucumber—an easy way to play Russian dressing roulette with your salad—and your life.
The Food and Drug Administration reports that 12 percent of spices brought to the United States are contaminated with insect parts, whole insects, rodent hairs and “other things.” Seven percent of spice imports are also contaminated with salmonella. 100 percent of this information is gross.
Delicious Sushi-Grade Tuna Linked to Salmonella Outbreak
Say it ain't so — could something as tasty as yellowfin tuna be making people sick? Well, yes, evidently. There have been 116 salmonella-related illnesses linked to a yellowfin tuna product used for sushi and sashimi. Twelve of the afflicted have been hospitalized.
Happy Easter: Watch Out for Salmonella
Easter is a time to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus, eat chocolate bunnies, and of course, nuzzle baby chicks and ducks. But as adorable as fuzzy little birds are, the CDC warns that these animals are deceptively dangerous.
Lying Media Wants to Put Germs in Your Baby
Killer vaccines! Sex-crazed kids! Lower cholesterol! Sickening papayas! Laundry cancer! Healthier milk! Brain scans! Marathon beer! And fatty fat babies who need a little shove in the right direction! It's your Thursday Health Watch, where we watch your health—dishonestly!
Internet Addiction Just as Bad as Real Addiction, But Not Cool
Fertile China! Psychic dogs! Killer papaya! ADHD safety! Internet addiction! Breastfeeding asthma! Shrinking brains! Love psychology! And uncalled-for lizard posing! It's your Monday Health Watch, where we watch your health—out of sheer desperation!
Turkey Burgers Now Come with Drug-Resistant Salmonella
Craving a turkey burger? You might want to think twice before eating a Jennie-O Turkey Store® All Natural Turkey Burger — 55,000 pounds of it have been recalled in 10 states after a dozen people who ate them were sickened with salmonella. You might be thinking, "another salmonella recall, so what," right? Well, the…
Hold the Sprouts When Ordering at Jimmy John's
Midwest sandwich franchise Jimmy John's—subs so fast you'll freak!—is under scrutiny for a salmonella outbreak from alfalfa sprouts that has sickened nearly 50 people in Illinois. Maybe they should slow down a bit and watch the produce? [FPJ]
Poisonous Egg Farmer Says Sorry for Salmonella Outbreak
The owner of the Iowa farm who was selling salmonella-tainted eggs that led to a massive recall will testify before a House subcommittee today. In a prepared statement, Austin DeCoster says he was "horrified," but of course he blames others.
Iowa Egg Farm Detected Salmonella Hundreds of Times Over Last Two Years
The Iowa farm that recently recalled 500 million eggs tainted with salmonella, Wright County Egg, over a two-year period detected salmonella in 426 samples at its facilities, according to investigators. But the FDA doesn't require notification of salmonella detection. Nice.
Criminal Charges Possible In Salmonella Egg Investigation
The two Iowa farms that produced the half billion recalled salmonella eggs have been visited by investigators from the Department of Justice and the Food and Drug Administration's criminal division this week. Good thing, because those farms are disgusting.
Those Half Billion Salmonella Eggs Came from Very Nasty Places
Two Iowa farms behind the massive salmonella egg recall have been investigated by federal officials, and what they found is pretty gross: Eight-foot tall piles of manure as well as rodents, maggots, and wild animals mingling with hens. And more!
Iowa Salmonella Egg Producer Has a Tainted History
Have you heard about the half-billion eggs recalled over the salmonella outbreak? Well, it turns out the Iowa producer has a history of abusing hens, paying fines for health violations and settling complaints that it's a "sexually hostile work environment."
Frozen Cheesy Chicken Dinners Prepackaged with Salmonella
It's tainted food recall week! First it was undercooked SpaghettiO's meatballs, now it's Marie Callender's Cheesy Chicken and Rice frozen dinners. The producer, ConAgra Foods Inc., recalled the meals over salmonella fears. About 800,000 packages are in stores. [Reuters]
Subway: Eat Fresh. Live Green. Get Diarrhea.
Subway is gross, but just in case you live in Illinois and want to "take a bite out of summer," perhaps you should think twice—60 people who have eaten there are reported to have Salmonella poisoning. [FPJ]
