We're not the only ones who thought this week was a little slow for news: "Good Morning America" had a feature about an adorable mutt who is literally "up a tree!" Bonus Sam Champion doggie impression included.

This morning, "Good Morning America" weather hottie Sam Champion provided an incredibly servicey piece on how to escape from a locked car in the event of a bridge collapse, which, remember, is looking ever more likely. It's a rollicking, macho adventure as a safety goggle-wearing Sam shatters the window. The best…

If you have a sexual fantasy involving Good Morning America's weather-boy Sam Champion being fanned and fed grapes by African-American children while reclining on some bizarre blue foam piece of furniture, today is like Christmas, Valentine's Day, and your birthday rolled up into one bizarre little package.

Juvenile? Lowbrow? Totally. Whatever, you heard the man, we're hungover today. So watch this clip from "Good Morning America" where some chef has Sam Champion toss his salad. The humor part comes in the fact that Sam is literally mixing vegetables, not sticking his tongue in some guy. It's sort of a double entendre?…

This morning local ABC meteorologist Bill Evans popped up on "Good Morning America" to pimp his new novel, Category 7. Interviewed by Gawker Hero Sam Champion, Bill revealed that one of the main characters was, in fact, based on the lovable weatherman. We could care less about the weather or hurricanes or…

The "anthrax" letter sent to Sam Champion reportedly came from a former temp. [Page Six]

A memo! "Today we received a letter at the offices of Good Morning America at 147 Columbus Avenue that mentioned anthrax. We immediately notified the NYPD and they are investigating the situation. Out of an abundance of caution we closed down the area around the office and are awaiting additional information from…

We hear that half an hour ago, Good Morning America's floor was quarantined due to an anthrax scare. For real? UPDATE: Now we hear that someone sent a letter to Sam Champion that said he intended to spread anthrax. He being the letter-writer. Not Sam Champion.

As finale fever grips the nation, even the anchors at "Good Morning America" are getting in on the act. They discuss their favorite series finales in television history. Their picks may surprise you! Unless you've been paying attention.

Over at GMA, they're hosting "The Great GMA Meatloaf Challenge," in which the four principals present their recipes and contest for the honor of best meatloaf. It's a segment that lends itself to double entendre, so we're especially thrilled to see Sam Champion participate. (Sam's meatloaf secret, by the way, is the…

Yesterday GMA was enlisted to do a little cross-promotion for ABC's The Bachelor: We're Not Even Sure if This Guy is Italian. Here's a pretty priceless moment between "Prince" Lorenzo Borghese and ethereal weatherstud Sam Champion. There's no awkwardness at all, so enjoy.

This is just a brief transition from one segment of a morning show to another, but the sheer confluence of themes near and dear to Gawker's heart practically made our heads explode. We hit the trifecta!

New York, today: