It's Christmas!!!!! But who cares, because it's RUINED.

Here's a picture taken outside of 13th Step, an East Village bar which was named one of Complex's "25 Douchiest NYC Bars" last year.

"Police were looking for a motive in a shooting in which they believe a man dressed as Santa Claus killed six family members in a Fort Worth, Texas, suburb on Christmas day before shooting himself." It's not known whether this is connected to Santa's string of roofie attacks in Germany.

Searching for "sexy Santa" on stock photo website Shutterstock yields 16,414 results, and every single one of them is strange, unsettling, and patently absurd. There is even Santa-girl-on-Santa-girl action! Here are some of the craziest images we found.

Germany—and, more importantly, Germany's Christmas spirit—is under attack by a man who dresses like Santa, but is, in fact—you guessed it—a Grinch. Of roofies.

It's that time of year again to gather around the computer with friends and family to share some of the funniest, heartwarming, and most memorable Christmas videos of the holiday season. Even Grandma will like these.

Most people don't think about it, but recording a commercial voice over can be quite difficult. Here is an ad agency's behind the scenes look at Santa's attempt to record a simple "ho ho ho." It ain't pretty.

An article in Pharmaceutical Journal claims that "reindeer deliberately seek out the mind-bending fungi to escape the monotony of dreary, long winters." Herdsmen then drink their pee to get a secondary high. Explains all that flying, doesn't it? [Sun, via]

Here's a rap song about having hardcore sexual relations with Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus featuring Gawker.TV's favorite Kirk Larsen.

In an effort to spread some Christmas cheer, these do-gooders wrapped their presents, donned a Santa suit and descended upon the streets of downtown Winnipeg to disperse the holiday goodwill. Watch and let your hearts warm.

The bible-thumpers of Repent Amarillo—the Texas group last seen failing to burn a Koran—have a new publicity stunt: shooting Santa's head off at a firing range. Don't you hate it when your enemies do something cool?

Here's a video of some guy in a Santa suit—he's thin, so obviously it's not the real Santa—dancing to himself on the side of a road. Why? Nobody knows. Who's filming him? Who cares! Come jam along, inside.

[A vicious gang of Toy Store Kiddy Land Santa Claus Academy students march through Tokyo. Photo via AP.]

[It's too early for Christmas, but we can make an except for the Everland Zoo in South Korea, because it's never too early for penguins dressed in Santa and reindeer costumes. Click through for more. Images via Getty.]

Christmas is a time for trees. Stockings. The crackling of logs on a fire. Except that the last one causes emissions and ruins the planet! You bastards! In towns around the country, the government is battling this menace. With spies.

[This overly ornate house is one of the many on The Boulevard Christmas Lights Display in Melbourne, Australia. We want to live there. Image via Getty]