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New York, 12:43 AM
Sun Nov 29
9 posts in the last 24 hours
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11/17/09
11/17/09
I totally don't get this need so many of these dudes have to brag about their crimes on public chat rooms.
I help moderate a forum for gay expats in Thailand and on a very regular basis we have to ban dudes from commenting and delete their forum posts after they brag about banging 15 year old gogo boys/ladyboys - even though we clearly state that we don't want posts about illegal activity and that we strongly object to teenage prostitutes.
They just don't get it. It's like they are convinced that they are normal and the rest of the world is fucked up. #crime
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Perhaps it's some kind of meta-advertising, indicating that much like this commercial, the endowments bestowed by this miracle pill make one's penis always on.
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12/27/08
12/27/08
12/26/08
Without going into detail, my family was close to someone who did this very thing. A family, four kids. Gone forever because of an failing marriage. Dad, a completely "normal" supportive good father destroyed the world one night because he... I don't know why. Three years later, none of us knows why. There is no answer. Having been divorced, I understand his pain. But there is no answer for the rest of it.
People snap. Good people, with absolutely no sign of any mental illness can make a decision, grab a deer rifle and end the world. I've tried to find the answer for this for three years now. There isn't one. I stopped trying.
Don't judge any commenter here for their opinions until you have walked in their shoes. No one here did the unthinkable. There is no rational explanation or discussion that will explain it. And for some of you who think you have a handle on this, trust me, you don't.
12/26/08
From the outside, to anybody external to the family system, sure it looks like the person just snapped. The people on the inside will always tell you an entirely different story. People are very, very good at coming off as normal to all those who don't live with them or have sex with them or are parented by them.
After all, what goes into seeming normal is not very much. The beaten wife just wears long shirts and sunglasses. The high-functioning violent alcoholic drinks only at home on weekends where only his wife and kids will be the targets of his rage. The rapist has a gorgeous smile and a great sense of humor. The abused child gets good grades and is on the debating team. Coming off as normal is about concealing evidence of abnormality. That's pretty easy for everybody.
I recommend a book called The Gift of Fear. It talks about this very phenomenon of killings that seem random and senseless to everybody but the victims. There are always clues. One just needs to know what to look for and what to discount. Unfortunately, most laypeople do not have access to that information. Either because they haven't had prolonged exposure to such situations in the past or they do not listen to their intuition or they have no idea about the significance of seemingly minor details.
The parents, siblings, friends, relatives, neighbors, co-workers of the killer are all people who will usually see the horror of the killer's true nature in one of two ways: if they too became an object of his/her control and domination. Or when it's too late and they hear that the killer has just finished a massacre.
12/26/08
12/27/08
12/27/08
Yeah, you could be right.
As for the rest of what you said, I will not talk about any personal experiences on a public forum.
It is always in a violent offender's best interests to conceal his violent behavior from anyone outside his immediate circle of victims. If there was evidence of his temper, he'd lose his freedom and get locked up. That's why many violent abusers are great at acting like they're totally normal. And most people who know them are shocked when the abuser goes on a murderous rampage.
And it was not your job or your responsibility to realize that it was an act. No one in the community messed up. Unless anyone saw clear evidence of wrongdoing, it would have been impossible to do anything. In fact if anyone should have done something, it was the man's wife as the only adult in the family besides him who was witnessing and probably on the receiving end of his anger.
12/27/08