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sparking things
Your New Political Scandal Lexicon
What a wonderful summer it has been, for fans of the dragged-out meltdowns of prominent Republican politicians! We should perhaps pause to recognize the contributions John Ensign, Mark Sanford, and Sarah Palin have made to our American language. More » -
declarations
Peggy Noonan's Snappy Answers to Stupid Palin Defenses
Peggy Noonan is not sad to see Sarah Palin go. In fact, the Reagan speechwriter and well-respected prose stylist and American public intellectual would like Ms. Palin to continue to go even further, away from politics. More » -
palinisms
The Cretin of the Klondyke Discovers Bartlett's Familiar Quotations
Sarah Palin, America's most notorious goldbricking defeatist, obviously has no idea what to do with herself now that she's returned home from the most painfully staged fishin' excursion ever, because she's just dropping dumb quotes all over her Twitter. More » -
shockers
Palin Even More Popular With Republicans After Quitting
A new USA Today/Gallup poll found that 71% of Republicans would likely vote for Sarah Palin if she ran for president in 2012. Three-fourths of Republicans polled also believe Palin has been treated unfairly by the media. [USA Today] -
fish slime
Sarah Palin Continues Her Brutal War on the Media
Not content with ruining the Fourth of July weekends of dozens of cable-news personalities and producers, Sarah Palin followed up by dragging poor Andrea Mitchell and a bunch of other saps to some godforsaken fishing hole in Alaska last night. More » -
quitter roundup
Sarah Palin Consulted with Cheney and Giuliani Before Quitting
The rollicking jalopy of dung that is the Sarah Palin traveling clown-show is still rolling along, so let's recap the latest—There's a new ethics complaint, career consultations with Cheney and Giuliani, and Hitler being pissed about her quitting. More » -
always-wrong pundits
Halperin Explains Palin
Time political analyst Mark Halperin has a list of "9 Pieces of 'Analysis' About Sarah Palin's Decision That Are Flat-Out Totally Wrong. This is Halperin we're talking about, so you know that they are all indisputably right. [Wonkette] -
Listicle
Whittling Down the Reasons Sarah Palin Quit Governing Alaska
It has been days since Empress Sarah Palin quit Alaska, forever. And no one yet knows why! Her "explanation" lacked, uh, actual coherent reasons. But there are theories.
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sarah palin
Palin's Resignation is a Sad Day For Ross Douthat
Ross Douthat, the New York Times op-ed conservative who does a better job of pretending to be reasonable than Bill Kristol did, is kind of sad about this Palin thing. Because it means the death of the American Dream. More » -
tina brown
Princess Di Stalker Reminded of Princess Di
You know who Sarah Palin totally reminds Tina Brown of? Princess Di. Previously in "People who remind Tina Brown of Princess Di": Paris Hilton, and everyone else in the world. [Daily Beast] -
meltdowns
Sarah Palin Continues To Come Unhinged
Did you hear about how Alaska's greatest source of shame and humiliation announced that she was going to strike down anyone who takes her name in vain with great vengeance and furious anger, just like God? Oh yes she did! More » -
LET FREEDOM RING!
"We Can't Be Consumed By Our Petty Differences Anymore"
True story: tomorrow's my second day not working in 62 days! Take a wild guess what I'll be doing tonight! Meanwhile, if any news breaks, uh, just read the comments in this thread. We'll be back on Sunday. More » -
aww
Malia Obama's Birthday Present Is Nothing Short Of Awesome
Instead of taking a present from her Dad, she got him the resignation of Sarah Palin. Not bad. But seriously: this Chicago Tribune profile of where the Obama girls have spent their last few birthdays is ridiculous-cute. Enjoy. [Chicago Tribune] -
mysteries
Why Did Sarah Palin Resign?
Sarah Palin's resigning from office. What the hell? And she's now supposedly telling people that she's done with politics forever. The entire thing is sketchy. The announcement, reasoning, speculation, and more Friday news-dumping after the jump.
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breaking
Sarah Palin Resigning From Office
Governor of Russia's Neighboring American Atate and failed Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin is going to resign from her office as Alaska's Supreme Asskicker And Number One Mom. She's not going to be running for a second term. More » -
campaigns
Acting Like a Petulant Child Did Not Endear Sarah Palin to Her Handlers
During the McCain campaign, Roveian media strategist Steve Schmidt proved that he was a shitty Roveian media strategist. He was also responsible for the Palin pick. But he quickly grew to regret that.
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crime
Sarah Palin Craves 'Hacking' Justice, Endless Martyrdom
After enduring vicious hate attacks by David Letterman, Barack Obama and random Photshop-wielding bloggers, Sarah Palin caught a moment to remind everyone, via Twitter, that tomorrow her email "hacker" stands trial in Tennessee. Remember him? He was so terrible! More » -
the future
Which White Republican Dude Will Destroy Obama in 2012?
Mark Sanford was totally going to be the next president, until he fell in love with Maria. Now, not so much. But Republican strategists have so many other Great White Hopes! What disasters will greet them? More » -
wingnuts
Emboldened By Olive Garden's Cowardice, the 'Fire David Letterman' Crowd Marches On
A controversy erupted Thursday afternoon when Politico reported that Olive Garden was pulling its Late Show advertising in the wake of the controversy over Letterman's Palin jokes. Olive Garden then denied this. Regardless, the "Fire Letterman" crowd wants more blood. More » -
protests
Having No Other Purpose, Hillary Deadenders Target Letterman
The Olive Garden has pulled its ads—or maybe not!—from rapes-with-his-mouth David Letterman's late-night show about impregnating 14-year-old girls. Why would they do that? Because the PUMA crowd threatened a boycott. Of course. Wait, remember them? More » -
feuds
Letterman Mocks Pathetic Protest Calling for His Firing
Tens of imbecilic wingnuts turned out yesterday outside of Letterman's midtown studio to express faux outrage over his "perverted" jokes about Sarah Palin and her daughters, which in turn provoked Dave to spend almost an entire segment mocking them. More » -
field report
David Letterman's Job Is Probably Safe
On Facebook, 439 people said they might drop by the Ed Sullivan Theater today to demand that CBS dump David Letterman forsexually assaultingtelling a bad joke about Sarah Palin's daughter. Approximately 400 of those people are liars. More » -
feuds
David Letterman Apologizes to Sarah Palin Again
Reports have surfaced that David Letterman offered yet another apology to Sarah Palin at this afternoon's taping of his show set to air later tonight. He couldn't have made a bigger mistake.
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stupid human feuds
Palin Wins Battle In Letterman War
Oh good, the people looking to get David Letterman fired because they don't like his monologue (admittedly it is usually pretty hacky but that is part of the charm!) just cost him one (1) internet advertiser. More » -
parenthood
Things You Didn't Know: Levi Johnston Is "Half-Mexican," Possibly Fatherless
Hello, salacious political gossip cross-section: in an interview withAC SlaterExtra's Mario Lopez, Levi Johnston revealed that he was "half-Mexican." Really? More » -
the unapproved
The Worst Sarah Palin Joke There Is
The most cathartic part of our week is here! We have to read all the awful unapproved comments all week. You don't. Well, you didn't. Now you have to read six of the worst.
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important interviews
Sarah Palin on CNN: Blah Blah Obama Hates Israel and Wants to Rape My Daughter Blah
Sarah Palin's on the CNN. Thank god she is babbling lies about energy and not talking about rapist late night comedians. For now! No, wait, here comes the bit where she fantasizes about imaginary people threatening to rape her daughter. More » -
rape
Sarah Palin Calls For Uprising Against Letterman's Perverted Tyranny
Sarah Palin went on the Today Show this morning to tell everyone to "rise up" against David Letterman, the noted TV rapist and "so-called comedian." More » -
feuds
Letterman Responds to Sarah Palin's Righteous Indignation
Earlier this week, David Letterman used Sarah Palin's recent New York trip as fodder for jokes. This angered Sarah and Todd Palin, who called him "pathetic" and "disgusting" for telling "sexually perverted" jokes. Tonight Letterman responded. More » -
television
David Letterman's Time Has Finally Come
David Letterman, who has been quietly doing his second-place late night joker show over on CBS like forever, is all of a sudden beating the Tonight Show in the ratings. Calling Sarah Palin a slut really pays off! More » -
Rustic Journalism
Sean Hannity Interviews Sarah Palin In the Woods
Sean Hannity creepily interviewed Sarah Palin in some wooded area of Long Island, where Sarah proceeded to do what Sarah does—-Spewed out a maddening but hilariously folksy word soup that translates to "I told you so!" More » -
2012
The Sean Hannity-Sarah Palin Interview: Just the Questions
Alaska Dictator Sarah Palin may or may not attend a congressional fundraising dinner in DC tonight (she is upset that she won't be allowed to speak), but she will def be seen chatting with Hannity on Fox this evening. More » -
calling bullshit
Sarah Palin Didn't 'Plagiarize'
Grow up, liberals. Sarah Palin gave a 15-minute introduction to Michael Reagan at some event last week, and the HuffPo has discovered that some of the words she used belong to Newt Gingrich! More » -
field trips
Irony Meets Reality as Stephen Colbert Lands in Iraq
Cat's outta the bag! Well, the cat was already out of the bag, thank you very much, Lady Alaska, but now it's official. Stephen Colbert will be broadcasting The Colbert Report from Camp Victory in Baghdad next week. [NYT] -
twits
Sarah Palin Reveals Top-Secret Colbert Report Iraq Appearance
Two pieces of incredible breaking news! Alaska Snow Empress Sarah Palin will tape a segment for The Colbert Report, and also she revealed the top-secret location of his upcoming "Persian Gulf" trip, on the Twitter! More » -
gossip roundup
Todd and Sarah Palin Offered Bristol a New Car To Dump Levi Johnston
Todd offered Bristol a new ride to get her to dump Levi, Spencer Pratt is the "King of Weed," Paris Hilton thinks that The Hills is "so lame and fake," Kate Hudson is traveling with the Yankees to bone A-Rod, and Susan Boyle may be institutionalized very shortly. More » -
scientology
Greta van Susteren Defends Herself Against All Charges Except the Ones About Scientology
Fox News' Greta van Susteren is, according to a New York Times story published over the weekend, "defending her brand." But there's one thing she's not defending herself against, because the Times didn't ask about it: Her Scientologist husband's plot to infiltrate our political system to promote his cult's agenda. More » -
Crazy Lady Governors
Meet Michaelle Jean, the Sarah Palin of Canada
So in Canada they have this thing called the "Governor General," which is some sort of viceroy or something appointed by the Queen of England, and her name is Michaelle Jean. Yesterday, Jean kicked off a tour of Canada's Arctic region by gutting a seal and eating its heart raw. More » -
extreme makeover
Sarah Palin Gets to Keep the Clothes She Lied About Giving to Charity!
Good news: Sarah Palin's Neiman Marcus shopping spree was legal, the FEC declared. Which is good, 'cuz Tripp and Trig are growing boys and someone's gonna have to shell out for their toddler tracksuits. [ADN] -
politics
Sarah Palin Throws Her Scientologist Adviser Under the Bus
Scientologist macher John Coale hatched a crazy plan to forge an alliance between Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin, Politico reported this morning. In a rare—solitary?—display of good judgment, Palin turned him down. More »









































