• Three months after giving birth, 17-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears is said to be pregnant. Everyone's freaking out, "pals are begging her to abort." If only there was a national political leader, preferably experienced with teen pregnancy, who could guide the celebrity family in these trying times. [National Enquirer]
• The boyfriend of 15-year-old Miley Cyrus might be 20 years old, but he's "a good kid," according to Cyrus' dad. He's "searching for the dream," whatever that might be. [People]
• Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel are hoping groping each other in public will lead to a more meaningful reconciliation. Apparently "taking it slow" includes ass grabbing. Fair enough. [People]
• Is it really surprising to hear Angelna Jolie had a tummy tuck after giving birth to twins? The real question is whether she got the French government to pay for it. [Star]

Vote McCain:

"Filthy, disgusting" McCain:

[via Haaretz.com]

]]> Sat, 27 Sep 2008 18:35:00 EDT ian spiegelman http://gawker.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5055929&view=rss&microfeed=true Jimmy Kimmel, low-rated late nite host and our bestest bud in the whole wide world, has broken up with his longtime girlfriend, comedienne Sarah Silverman. And now we're told by an anonymous tipster that he has already taken up with a new lady. And not just any lady. Her name is Molly McNearney (Holly Johnson's just a character she played in a skit) and she's been promoted all the way (with one stop in between) from assistant to head writer for Jimmy Kimmel Live! by the sex problem-having former Man Show (ugh) host. No word yet on which aging Hollywood It boy she's fucking, but I'll bet it's Cole Hauser. Another picture, plus a larger version of the one above, await you after the jump.

Apparently during the meal fellow funny person Jonah Hill approached Silverman, who had seemed mostly cheerful up to that point. "Jonah's appearance definitely had an effect on her," said some sort of bystander. "They spoke for just a minute. And after he left, Sarah looked momentarily pensive." Oh dear. Sad clowns are the worst! It's too bad, too. For a second they were looking like the next Burns & Allen. Now I guess they're just... I dunno. Danson & Goldberg?

The Times said Holmes was "looking perfect," but Fabsugar, even while catching the Superman reference in the outfit, wrote, "hot mess... just too reminiscent of '80s prom."

Here's comedian Sarah Silverman, "wearing a polka-dot teacup skirt from Dolce & Gabbana, paired with filthy black-and-white fingerless knit gloves, which she described as 'flair from my backpack that I bought at one of those mall stores for $9... The woman from Dolce & Gabbana said, "Please don’t wear those." I did.'"

News Corp. Chairman Rupert Murdoch (background, left) with wife Wendi. Australia's The Age: "Love the colours and the fabric... it's the shape that worries me. It's a bit ''tip me over, pour me out."

Designer Marc Jacobs leaving with Sofia Coppola, because if he'd taken a boy it would have just ended in a big pissy fight over three-ways. No one dared to say anything mean about their outfits.

USA Today (ever the fashion source): "Dolce & Gabbana decked out Scarlett Johansson, who made news on Monday when she announced that she and actor Ryan Reynolds were engaged. Although she wasn't flaunting her engagement ring as she walked the carpet holding hands with her designer hosts, it was probably one of the most-talked-about accessories of the evening."

Celebrities included in the video, according to Kimmel's people: Harrison Ford, Cameron Diaz, Don Cheadle, Robin Williams, Huey Lewis, Rebecca Romijn, Macy Gray, Pete Wentz, Dominic Monaghan, Joel and Benji Madden, Josh Groban, Christina Applegate, Meat Loaf, Perry Farrell, Lance Bass, Joan Jett and Christopher Mintz-Plasse. Plus a gospel choir and whoever the delivery man was — an unnamed "superstar."

Being asked to apologize brings out the Human Nature-era Madonna in me. You know, "I'm naaaaaaaaat saaaaaaaaaaaaaaareeee, it's human nature/ I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me/I'm not apologizing!" However, I guess we are all doing this Blogger's Selichot thing today, and I might as well take my sins down to the water's edge and cast them away while I've got the opportunity. So here goes.

[I]t seems that Spears' performance didn't leave all VMA viewers with the same feeling of disgust. Weighing in on a story about Spears and her subpar routine, ABCNEWS.com commenter wheaton1006 remarked, "I'd hit it."

Speaking of hitting it, some think "it" should be off-limits as a topic of conversation. Writing for the Associated Press, Jocelyn Noveck ponders whether or not comments about Britney's body are fair game.

Did Spears, lest we forget a mother of two, deserve to be held up against the standard of her once fantastically toned abs, sculpted by sessions of 1,000 tummy crunches? Or was she asking for it by choosing that unforgiving black-sequined bikini?

More profoundly, in an age where skinny models and skeletal actresses are under scrutiny for the message they're sending young girls, what does it say that we're excoriating a young woman for a little thickness in her middle?

As to the performance itself, rumors are rife concerning its widely-noted awfulness. People suggests that an "embarrassed" Britney may have been agitated and disoriented by comedian Sarah Silverman.

Fan site BreatheHeavy.com and photo agency X17 speculated that Spears was thrown off after hearing Sarah Silverman rehearse her monologue (which ripped Spears and called her kids "mistakes").

But Silverman's rep tells PEOPLE it's untrue: "Sarah never rehearsed her full monologue ahead of time so no one knew what Sarah was going to say except for Sarah."

Others see a conspiracy by MTV at play. The network, suggests Idolator, fully expected that Spears would deliver an epic mess of a performance, and actually hoped for such an outcome, so that the chaos would keep people buzzing about the astoundingly lackluster show.

If anything, the incessant Internetization of this year's Video Music Awards—the Twittering, the Second Life-ing, the "watch the full performances online!" exhortations—makes this hypothesis completely plausible; MTV has, after all, seemed nothing short of desperate for attention with this installment of the show, and coupling that desperation with the idea that all press is good press could have created quite the toxic stew, if you'll pardon the pun.... It seems pretty cruel, but that's also sort of why it seems plausible—after all, any network that actually put on the shitshow that was last night isn't really feeling altruistic towards its fellow media consumers, is it now.

Furthermore, she's a troubled young woman whose career appears to be on the wane, and the uncertainty over whether she wants to continue to play the game feeds her deep sense of self-loathing, particularly when she gives in to that part of herself that craves the adulation.

In those rare moments of lucidity where she recognizes what a public spectacle she's become, Spears looks down at the Snapple-streaked faces of her two tiny children and weeps at the shocking catastrophe her life has become. Then she knocks back a few margaritas and stuffs herself into two size zero pieces of unyielding fabric and heads out to perform live on national television. Of course that ambivalence is going to reflect itself in the resulting routine.

All good points (we're going with conspiracy), but does it even really matter? It seems that today of all days, when we commemorate the loss of 3000 fellow citizens in the worst terror attack on American soil, should be about the spirit of love, compassion, and forgiveness. Britney Spears, an inbred naïf who coasted to a fame for which she was unprepared through a combination of incredibly short skirts and the decline in critical faculties of the music-buying public, represents everything that America is today, and if we can't give her a pass it says something very sick about us as a society. It's 9/11, people. Never forget. (I mean, forget the performance, but never forget that other thing, with the burning and the crashing and the big hole in the ground.) We love you, Britney: you're still our big fat shining star.

"Stunt for what?" Buttafuoco fumed during the TV interview. "I could walk out of my home in California and everybody follows. I could be in Hollywood, I could be in Vegas, and it's going to happen."

He said it was not about the money - well, not all about the money.

"I don't need the money," he declared. "I'm really OK emotionally, physically and financially. But if the money comes along with the reality show that they're talking about, fine. I think we'll have an incredible show. It will be a wild show."

"I enjoy talking to Amy; I really do," Buttafuoco said. "I like being friends with Amy."

Fisher said the date had been a long time coming.

"We started talking a few years ago," she said. "He called to apologize, and he kept calling and calling."

Buttafuoco said, "She kept hanging up and hanging up. The last time we tried to make something happen, the last time we spoke, I was a really big ass and off the hook with it, so I wanted to apologize to her.

"A year ago I was really angry. I had a medical situation, and I was on heavy meds. I needed to release that part of my past and have some closure on it."

Fisher told the TV show, "We know we're unconventional and a lot of people think it's sick and strange. We're very hesitant about what people think. We care about what people think. We're nice people. We're a lot of fun."

She added: "We're going to start off slower than we did last time - although not too slow..."

America needs a good love story, Fisher claims - and so what if they're sharing their relationship with the world?

It gives me great pleasure to announce that we are picking up a second season of The Sarah Silverman Program. We have ordered 14 episodes that will be split between this coming Fall and next Spring. The first two weeks of ratings have proven that in addition to the show's critical acclaim, it looks like ratings winner as well —and on a Thursday night to boot. We could not be happier to get behind this show in such a significant way.

That is all.

Sarah Silverman on the View [YouTube]