Starbucks Apologizes to Louisiana Woman Over Satanic Caramel Drizzle
The devil made his influence felt in our mortal affairs once more over the weekend, taking the form of the caramel drizzle on top of a Starbucks beverage.
Satanists Blamed For Theft of Pope's Blood
A vial of holy blood belonging to the dead pope John Paul II was stolen from a tiny church in the mountains east of Rome, and an Italian anti-occult organization says the blood was likely taken for Satanic rituals.
Satanists Propose New Statue for Oklahoma Capitol
A New York-based Satanic church has applied to put up a statue of a Baphometic idol in the Oklahoma state capitol next to an already erected Ten Commandments monument. "The monument has been designed to reflect the views of Satanists in Oklahoma City and beyond," Satantic Temple spokesman Lucien Greaves told the…
How the Ouija Board Became the Mouthpiece of the Devil
At Halloween parties across this dreaded land tonight, people will set up Ouija boards and tarot decks for the traditional drunken fortune teller's table of occult items. At least a few people will freak out when the Ouija board spells out something maniacal like "KILL YOU FOREVER GOOD-BYE DADDY," and again we will…
Man Who Set Home on Fire with Burning Bible Blamed 'Homosexual Demon'
Police officers who responded to a call about an Oklahoma City man with a bloody face thrashing around his apartment arrived to find 22-year-old Jeremy Jarnell Anderson covered in soap and salt and ranting about a "possessed homosexual demon" who ordered him to "cook the Bible."
Satanic Sex Ritual Threesome Not as Awesome as It Sounds
Last week, a 19-year-old guy from Arizona took the bus to Milwaukee to meet a girl he knew from the internet. On arrival, he discovered that she and her roommate wanted to have a kinky, possibly Satanic, threesome. So far, so awesome. And then came the part where he was stabbed and slashed 300 times.
Christine O'Donnell Denunciation of Witchcraft Infuriates Witches
Delaware Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell hastily dismissed her witchcraft background this weekend, after Bill Maher released an old tape of her describing high-school experimentation with satanic altars. Now the Witch Community is furious, and will transform O'Donnell into a carrot.
Drudge's Upside-Down Bin Laden: What Does It Mean?
Linking to a report about Osama bin Laden's latest audio message, the Drudge Report uses an upside-down image of the terrorist leader's face. In his infinite wit and wisdom, Matt Drudge is trying to tell us something. But what?
Jay-Z: Illuminati Loving Satanist Freemason?
Jay-Z Problem Number 76/99: A Christian rapper trying to 'beef' with him, as he accuses Mr. Beyonce of Satanism, Freemasonry, and membership in the Illuminati. Come to think of it, there is something decidedly evil about "Change Clothes." [ANIMAL NY]
