Over the weekend, Americans were shocked to discover that one of the women they trust to deliver their morning news has, for time unknown, been delivering something else, in secret: poops, to a toilet in a far flung part of her office where she thought no one would catch her.

Ann Curry may have freaked out the Today show crew by wanting to talk about knives constantly and holding her birthday party in a graveyard and distracting Al Roker from the weather every morning by asking him, stonefaced, "Do you ever wonder what it feels like to die?"—but at least she wasn't a huge giant, stomping…

Al Roker appeared to malfunction during an episode of the Today Show late last week, remaining frozen on screen for several long seconds.

Just weeks after The Today Show booted Ann Curry off its couch because she wasn't good at chitchatting with the fun, popular kids, the show, realizing no one on its current roster is capable of manifesting gravitas, has come crawling back to her.

Jamie Lynne Grumet, whose left breast achieved stardom this week by appearing on the cover of Time while inside her nearly four-year-old son's mouth, went on the Today Show to discuss the controversial cover. With son Aram mewling by her side (wouldn't it be great if she'd whipped out a tit and shoved it in his mouth,…