savethechildren

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All You Have to Do to Get Famous These Days Is Have a Baby or Fourteen
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Would You Let Alec Baldwin Near Your Children?
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pufflehuff
02/16/09

In reply to All You Have to Do to Get Famous These Days Is Have a Baby or Fourteen
All this would be made okay/immeasurably worse if Aquaman and Octomom could get high and get together. They could be kept in an aquarium!
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Kitten_Witawip
02/16/09

@pufflehuff: Maybe they could be on the next Big Brother and have to share a room with Chris Brown.
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pufflehuff
02/16/09

@Kitten_Witawip: This has all the makings of the world's worst graphic novel.
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Kitten_Witawip
02/16/09

@pufflehuff: Would you prefer "Media Whore Rehab with Dr. Drew"?
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pufflehuff
02/16/09

@Kitten_Witawip: Will it cleanse my mind? Because all I can see now are screaming tiny babies and tentacles offering Phish-Phelps a bong hit as Rihanna cries behind her eyepatch.
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DorothyMantooth
02/16/09

In reply to All You Have to Do to Get Famous These Days Is Have a Baby or Fourteen
In this, as in all things, I blame TLC. That John & Kate show that I've never watched but people tell me is super compelling. And then that Krazy Kristian family with all the tots? I think it's that shit, more so than Angelina or whatever, that's making this whole phenomenon au courant.

Also, Britain's youngest dad was apparently 12. Yikes!
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pufflehuff
02/16/09

@DorothyMantooth: Yes, yes he was. Alfie is part of a proud tradition.

Ben's birth fab, says dad (12)

BRITAIN'S youngest dad, Sean Stewart, who was just 11 when he fathered five-day-old Ben, said the birth of his baby was ''great'' - he got a day off school.

Sean, now 12, and his 16-year-old girlfriend, next-door neighbour Emma Webster, said they were delighted.

But Sean does not want Ben to be a dad at 12 - ''he'll be too young''.

They said they hoped to stay ''close friends for as long as possible''.

[archives.tcm.ie]

They broke up after six months.

(Extra bonus special treat - the Hillary Clinton standing-by-her-man piece at the top of the page! It was 1998 after all...)
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Shelwood
02/16/09

@pufflehuff: So baby Ben is 11 this year? Uh-oh.
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miasma-protege
02/16/09

In reply to All You Have to Do to Get Famous These Days Is Have a Baby or Fourteen
During the Great Depression, the Dionne Quintuplets became Ontario's official freakshow. I think there really is some connection between dustbowl days and the popular obsession with abnormally juicy wombs.

[en.wikipedia.org]
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Lebenskunstlerin
02/16/09

In reply to All You Have to Do to Get Famous These Days Is Have a Baby or Fourteen
I'm not sure I understand this Alfie story. I went to public school in the South (in the early 90s), and girls in my class started getting pregnant when I was in middle school. Do I think that's good or even acceptable? Definitely not. But having kids at that age isn't that unusual (at least in the US)--the only thing that makes this story noteworthy other than the screaming British tabloids is that the kid looks freakishly young.
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slpullia
02/16/09

@Lebenskunstlerin: I agree. When I was in junior high, there were 9 girls that had babies with fellas that went to the same junior high. The Alfie story sounds like a match made in heaven for the Maury Povich show.
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howdybeep (runs with monkey wrenches)
02/16/09

@slpullia: As I said over at Jez, one of my high school classmates became a grandma right before our 10th reunion. This sort of story is not new.
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J-No
02/16/09

In reply to All You Have to Do to Get Famous These Days Is Have a Baby or Fourteen
Jeebus, those Daddies look like my nephew. I will buy him so more video games so he never leaves the console again.
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Calraigh
02/16/09

In reply to All You Have to Do to Get Famous These Days Is Have a Baby or Fourteen
Then there's the whole attendant witchhunt and shaming that goes with these stories. TMZ are treating Suleman like Britney at this stage, except her every waking move is editorialized with, ''you're spending money, on food ? REALLY??!!''. I mean, the bottom line is that people seem to want her to die. And that Alfie Patten is a harbinger of the apocalypse or something.

I think they've taken the place of B-movie horror, except these stories are better than the shit the National Enquirer used to come up with, because this shit's real .
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slpullia
02/16/09

@Calraigh: I think the TMZ outrage was more like, "You're spending money at the nail salon and on Starbucks...REALLY!!??"
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Calraigh
02/16/09

@slpullia: And that's different...how?
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slpullia
02/16/09

@Calraigh★: Well, food is a necessity. Nobody would judge a trip to the grocery store. But a trip to the nail salon with a Starbucks in hand seems somewhat distasteful given the circumstances (i.e. no job, a litter of kids).
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Calraigh
02/16/09

@slpullia: Distasteful? I'd imagine having 14 children warrants some sort of natural break from looking after them, job or no. She's not in prison, whether people want her to be there or not.
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kimsama
02/16/09

@Calraigh: Considering she's on public assistance, I think the issue is not that a person should not be able to pursue happiness (what you're arguing). It's that one should not be free to indulge in luxuries while on the public dime. I can't afford manicures and Starbucks, and I have two jobs and no kids. So zero jobs and 14 kids means that there are better ways for her to be spending all our money than on pampering herself.
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Calraigh
02/17/09

@kimsama: Maybe you live in an area where Starbucks and manicures charge exorbitant prices? Because I got one for $4 and a regular coffee in Starbucks will set you back a whole 2 bucks.

'' Pampering yourself''' is booking yourself into a spa and rolling around in seaweed made of bullshit. It's not getting a crappy manicure at a mall and buying a shit coffee.

This person abused the reproductive oppurtunities afforded her, but that doesn't mean the rest of us should act holier than thou and villify her for trying to live her life.

For Christ's sake. She didn't kill anyone. She pisses me off but she's mentally unstable.

Get over yourself.
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Calraigh
02/17/09

@Calraigh: Opportunities. Dammit.
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Mongoloideon
02/17/09

@Calraigh: Live her life? Didn't kill anyone? I don't know, having a mentally unstable mother who decided it was a good idea to have 13 other siblings with no means to support them sounds like a handicap to me. I think the real outrage comes in the thought that one's right to "liver their life" as they please ENDS when it will most likely do harm to others. She's crazy, fine. She needs help, agreed. But defending her certifiably batshit actions? Perhaps you were projecting with that whole "get over yourself" line.
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TancredoGabsta
02/17/09

@Calraigh: First of all, I have never seen a manicure for $4, if you know where to find them, that's amazing! Second, yes, assuming she is drinking plain coffee and not a latte, or something similar, her coffee may have only cost her $2. However, one of the most basic steps in saving money, budgeting, and cutting costs is cutting out extras and saving money where you can. $2 a day (at least!) for a cup of coffee adds up. Especially when you can make an entire pot of cofee for around $0.20 if you make it at home. There are other ways of relaxing and having a break that cost nothing. Last, having 14 children in no way entitles the parent to a natural break from looking after them. There are parents out there who have not spent for than a few hours away from their child/ren by the time they start school. Sorry, but once you become a parent you are no longer entitled to free time.
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Calraigh
02/17/09

@Mongoloideon: Yes. It is a handicap. Thank you.

By the way, it's maybe slipped your mind that you're not exactly one to be doling out sensitivity tips with a name like ''Mongoloidean''.

Take care now!
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Calraigh
02/17/09

@TancredoGabsta: Once you become a parent ''free time'', becomes a luxury and not only are you entitled to it, it becomes a necessity once in a blue moon, in order not to go completely insane.

As for your rant about the economics and vagaries of coffee quality vs. value for money,why thank you for imparting your vast knowledge of coffeenomics! Truly, I'm in awe.
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Calraigh
02/17/09

@Mongoloideon: Also! Defining going to Starbucks and getting a coffee as ''certifiably batshit actions'' reveals to me what kind of barometer of normalcy you're working with here. Because that's the only ''defending'' I was doing here.

Once more with feeling!- Get over yourself.
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TedSez
02/16/09

In reply to All You Have to Do to Get Famous These Days Is Have a Baby or Fourteen
Preston Sturges pointed this out in 1945, when a hilarious case of multiple births helped the U.S. win World War II. (If you've never seen The Miracle of Morgan's Creek, run, don't walk, to your local video store.)
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Zlund
02/16/09

In reply to All You Have to Do to Get Famous These Days Is Have a Baby or Fourteen
I hate people calling this girl a slut. The whole thing is so sad
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Pope John Peeps II
02/16/09

@Zlund: So, if that's not what that is, what exactly IS a slut? Would she need 18 kids at the age of 12 to qualify?
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Botswana Meat Commission FC
02/16/09

In reply to All You Have to Do to Get Famous These Days Is Have a Baby or Fourteen
Alfie and Chantelle. What a power couple!
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bytememehard
02/16/09

In reply to All You Have to Do to Get Famous These Days Is Have a Baby or Fourteen
Chantelle is proving to be quite the slut, isn't she! I'm starting to like her.
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everfade
02/16/09

@bytememehard: I'm more of an Alfie fan myself.
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