If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if we pay you for a PlayStation 3 and you never deliver, do we not spam your phone with Shakespeare until you submit?
Three people have been accused of attempted fraud for pretending to be members of the Guggenheim family. They used the email "guggenheimbankers@aol.com" and claimed to be "large contributors to Home Land Security." What betrayed them? Their "lack of sophistication."
23-year-old Ashley Kirilow allegedly faked having cancer to raise $20,000 for her fraud charity. She turned herself in yesterday and has been charged with three counts of fraud, for which she faces up to two years in prison.
Incarcerated Utahan Kari Ferrell, your Hipster Grifter, has mailed another missive to her pen pal, Bucky Turco, and, through him, to you, her fans. She'll be out of jail in a flash. Then, back to NYC, and onto (more) TV!
Hipster Grifter Kari Ferrell is speaking out, from the Utah jailhouse! Okay, she admits, she shouldn't have stolen all that money. But she's always been too smart and attractive for society to handle.
Bernie Madoff is quite the real estate enthusiast! Last week his beach house went on sale (and offers are pouring in). Now, the real prize: Madoff's UES penthouse and house-arrest area is on sale for $7 million. It's decent.
Financial con man Allen "Mini-Madoff" Stanford slit his own wrists to become "blood brothers" with an Antiguan banking regulator. Stanford's crooked chief financial officer is now doing farm work like some Peace Corps kid, for PR purposes. Everybody is bizarre!
Sheryl Weinstein was pretty broken up when she lost millions to Bernie Madoff, who was also her secret lovahhhhhh. But now she's telling the world all the sexy details of Bernie sexy time, in a book, for satisfaction, and riches.
Bernie Madoff had an affair, allegedly! With one of his victims! Who now hates him! And is writing a book!
Why didn't the SEC catch Bernie Madoff's humongous decades-long superscam earlier? Because they were too dazzled with his fancy offices, allegedly. You can see why!
The trustee for Bernie Madoff's victims filed a $45 million suit against Ruth Madoff last week. He hasn't succeeded in getting any money yet, but he has succeeded in further humiliating Ruth Madoff! She is basically a grounded teenager now.
Ruth Madoff gave up everything in exchange for a new lease on life and $2.5 million. Now a representative of her husband's victims would like that $2.5 million back. Along with another $42.5 million.
Bernie Madoff is adjusting comfortably to life in the North Carolina hick prison which will be his home for the rest of his days. He can take the bad food and the shitty job; but one thing makes Bernie weep.
Bernie Madoff is going to be serving his til-death sentence at Butner Federal Prison in North Carolina. Why there? Nobody knows, really! But it won't be so bad for Bernie—he'll have landscaping, environmentalism, and a hospital bed.
Bernie Madoff's only remaining purpose in life is to be exploited by the media. Who will land the first jailhouse TV interview with the villain? We handicap the possibilities, below.
Ruth Madoff is looking at an Upper East Side apartment. A smallish one! According to somebody at her broker's office, probably, who leaked to the Post. Behold the grandeur of what could be Ruth's new, diminished home:
Bernie Madoff will rot in jail, but Ruth Madoff—his constant companion—didn't do anything criminal and won't be charged, the Feds say. Though she does still face social ostracism in Palm Beach. So.
"New York Post Stalkerazzi" is one of the most repellent job titles in all the media—until they attach their leech-like suction lips to someone truly deserving. Then they're great. Today in justified stalkings: Ruth Madoff rides the subway!
Giovanni Luciano just got done spending a couple years in jail for running a big credit card scam in Bungalow 8 while impersonating a Dolce and Gabbana heir. Now he's back in New York and acting rather strangely!
Cricket-loving billionaire Allen Stanford, dubbed "Mini-Madoff" by hypemongers like us after allegedly scamming $8 billion from investors in a Ponzi scheme, has finally been indicted. He surrendered to the Feds late yesterday. Of course, he is innocent.
