Those precious Scandinavians, with their reputations for probity and craftsmanship and good working order. Do not be fooled. Behind the veil of Scandinavian tidiness lies a region rife with DEBT ADDICTS.

A testicle-crushing vegetarian monster fish from South America has invaded the waters off Scandinavia. Last week, fisherman in the Oresund Sound between Sweden and Denmark reeled in a pacu, a fish best known for its sharp teeth and occasional attacks on male genitalia.

Scandinavian* Scandal: Pentti Arajarvi, the husband of Finland's president, has been caught ogling the Danish princess' tits at a royal dinner in Copenhagen. The Sun provides video of the naughty Nordic spouse staring at Princess Mary's northern exposure, then averting his eyes and pretending to stare at the ceiling…

The grim situation in Scandinavia worsened over the weekend as the Norwegian government, attempting to cling to power in the face of a severe butter shortage, arrested two Swedes who'd been attempting to smuggle 550 pounds of butter over the border.