Alarming recent news: "a new trend called 'robo tripping,'" is proving "kids will try anything to get high." Are you doing enough to "protect your teenagers from cough suppressants"? Beware. This is, after all, a brand new trend.

In America, we trust our kids to responsibly consume rum and coke, or vodka and Red Bull, or six crushed-up Vivarins dissolved in a Solo cup full of Everclear. But caffeine and alcohol in the same can? Absolutely not.

The New York Post is in high dudgeon over Obama's health plan, blasting a "terrifying" potential 57% "mega-tax" on "successful NYers" under "Obamacare" on the front page. Gosh, that does sound like a lot. Glad we're not successful.