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magazines

Scarlett Johansson's Five Imaginary Fathers

Everybody listen: Scarlett Johansson is saying stuff. About men. Heroic men! Iconic men! Men she would like to honor! The blonde actress, who insists on putting out an unwanted record, reveals the five guys she considers her "dads": Woody Allen, Bill Murray, Tom Waits, Barack Obama, and Bob Dylan. Suck it, actual dad! While a waggish type might be tempted to point out that none of these "dads" saved her from looking like an alien albino on the cover of Paste, a wiser person would examine her dad choices and ponder the question: Aren't these just a bunch of random old guys that probably don't even know her that well? More »

1:29 PM on Thu May 8 2008
By Hamilton Nolan
5,989 views, 64 comments

Latest by n/a: The newest in a list that I am sure will continue to run and run why I wish Scarlett Johannssen would shut the eff up. I just wish she wou more »

music

Scarlett Johansson Vs. Tom Waits

Uncut magazine in the UK got an advance listen to the new and unnecessary Scarlett Johansson album of Tom Waits cover songs, "Anywhere I Lay My Head." According to the scattered preview, ScarJo sounds at various times like Marianne Faithfull, Liz Frazer, Marilyn Monroe, and Joy Division [Uncut]. So there's that. They do point out the asinine spectacle of 24-year-old ScarJo crooning "I Don't Want To Grow Up." You're not, yet, so stop singing about it! The question about this album remains: why must it exist? Certainly not because the blonde it-girl actress is poised to improve on the music of Waits, America's coolest living man. Could it be...the promo photos? It must be the promo photos. After the jump, the plump-lipped ScarJo's recently released contemplative pictures for the album—she enjoys sitting and gazing into the distance, you'll see—along with some of Tom Waits, for comparison's sake. More »

9:29 AM on Tue Mar 25 2008
By Hamilton Nolan
12,286 views, 66 comments

Latest by n/a: @lionel-mandrake: Or her actual appeal? She's a blonde that isn't a complete idiot and isn't another bobble-head attached to a stick. She looks like a real woman and she isn't terribly upsetting, so that makes her threatening which therefore makes her more »

gossip

Josh Hartnett: Surrounded By Assholes?

A tipster tells us that the odd Josh Hartnett short film on the Times' website—which shows the actor stumbling through the snow and chatting with a hotel desk clerk, as the first installment of a series that will somehow promote the NYT's fashion magazine—is the twisted byproduct of one thing only: asshole friends! Hartnett is "an extremely nice guy" and a "very loyal friend," but he's surrounded by "asshole user" fake friends who try to use him to further their careers in the industry. Or so we hear. If true, that would definitely solve the mystery of why Hartnett would make time for an aimless project like that. After the jump, more detailed ranting from our tipster, and a bonus clip of the obscure Josh Hartnett-Scarlett Johansson short that is supposedly a precursor to the Times dreck. More »

12:07 PM on Thu Mar 20 2008
By Hamilton Nolan
4,921 views, 27 comments

Latest by digitalsmoothie: or maybe this: more »