Scarlett Johansson
The bee-stung, gloriously be-titted young actress has been in the tank for Barry O since day one, stumping for him and saying silly girlish things about having a crush on the Illinoisan senator. And like most young girls with a crush, she was prone to flights of fancy. Like that time she said the two exchanged so so so juicy emails about politics and ideas and stuff! She said of the matter: “You’d imagine that someone like the senator who is constantly traveling and constantly ‘on’ — how can he return these personal e-mails? But he does, and in his off-time I know he also calls people who have donated the minimum to thank them. Nobody sees it, nobody talks about it, but it’s incredible. I feel like I’m supporting someone, and having a personal dialogue with them, and it’s amazing.” Awwwwwwww!!!! That's totes adorbs!!!! Except, oh no, a bucket of pig's blood then rained all over her prom parade: "She sent one email to Reggie, who forwarded it to me. I write saying, 'thank you Scarlett for doing what you do,' and suddenly we have this email relationship," Obama said in response. So sad. I blame Reggie. Since then ScarJo's mostly shut up. Sigh. Remember her simpler days, when she was in that video...

The 'Yes We Can!' Singin' Celebrities
Yeah, ScarJo was in the music remix of Obama's New Hampshire primary speech. And so was the lady from Private Miseries: A Grey's Anatomy Spin-Off, will.i.am., Aisha Tyler, Claire's first boyfriend from Six Feet Under, um... Brian Greenberg from that show October Road, and... some others! And the music is a little uplifty, but I hated it in the beginning because it felt condescending! You know, rich celebrities in thoughtful black and white saying "we" like we're the same people. It almost seems... What does it seem like? What's that word? It begins with an 'E.'

Justin Timberlake & Jessica Biel
Aren't these kids cute? The singer and the actress are in lurve and they've been making be-scarfed impassioned pleas for you to get out and V-O-T-E for a couple months now. They want you to register, and most of you young people will only listen to their celebrity idols when it comes to issues of governance, so they are just doing their part. Oh, and not only do they want you to register, they want you to vote for Barack Obama. Did you hear that? To be cool like JT and the Biel, you gots to vote for Barbados Orama or whatevs. Just watch the video and see how in love they are! You could be in love like that too! Except, you know, with an ugly person! All you have to do is vote! (For Barack Obama!)

Leonardo DiCaprio and His Super Famous Non-Partisan Friends
Supposedly this dopey votey video was like filmed at the actor's house or something. And it's so wacky because all of these people are saying to you "Don't Vote!" And it's hip because they're being sarcastic. You know, there's not really much to say about this except wouldn't it be weird to get really famous and one day be asked to do these kinds of things? Like the whole conceit behind being a "cool" movie star is that you aren't really phased or even aware, really, of your fame. And then someone like Steven Spielberg calls you and says "you are famous and can tell people what to do, so come make this video" and you go and are therefore tacitly acknowledging how well aware you are of your massive, ludicrous fame. That is weird, I think. Also, DON'T VOTE.

The Worst Woman In The World
Other than Sarah Palin! Elisabeth Hasselbeck went to the same school where I went to college, my sister went to college, my mom got her PhD, and my dad still teaches. And she's such a disgraceful embarrassment to it! I don't care if she married the football quarterback. The former Survivor contestant (I think she placed 4th?) is a complete trainwreck of a person, bellowing the craziest of the Republican talking points whenever possible on The View and stumping for the wicked ticket at rallies. In the above clip she tries to make the case that John McCain and Sarah Palin are more pro-women's rights than Barack Obama. She also tries to sound like a person who has ever critically thought about anything in her life.

So have these fools helped or hurt their candidates' campaigns? Well, it's hard to say. The McCain camp clearly doesn't think that Hasselbeck's ninnery has been bad, because they invited her to speak. The wistful, teary-eyed Obamaniacs have... well, just further ingrained ideas that Hollywood is full of liberal pussies. Because it is! Those are just the facts. Oh and here are more of them!

Roubini—recognized as one of the few economists who predicted the credit crunch—was at the same time just as gloaty as any other self-satisfied real-estate owner about the appreciation of his own apartment. In one of his regular party invitations in 2006 (reproduced below), Dr. Doom boasted to friends and random Facebook hotties that Scarlett Johansson had moved into an apartment directly above him—paying 2½ times what he had just three years earlier. (The apartments have the same double-height 1,300-square-foot floor plan though one assumes the decoration upstairs is more conventional than the moulded vaginas on Roubini's wall.)

But the actress' purchase—"very good taste/style on her part"—was less of a boon than it first seemed. The buxom young movie star, most recently in Woody Allen's Victoria Christina Barcelona, was among neighbors who complained about Roubini's party guests wandering the halls of their Leonard Street building, says a former tenant. The building's new policy on parties—the doorman checks off all names against an RSVP list—is apparently designed for Roubini's haphazard salons.

Dear friends,
this Wednesday March 29th it is my birthday (in between a trip to Australia last week and one this coming weekend to Brazil)...I am almost sweet sixteen (time 2x or 3x)...So I will have some mellow drinks and desserts at my place starting at 9.15pm this Wednesday (this late hour as I have a wonky business dinner before, even on my b-day...)
Lovely if you can make it...and please No Gifts as your charming and friendly company would be plenty...
So, hope to see you Wednesday nite...
66 Leonard St. #2B
Ciao,
Nouriel
PS: Scarlett Johansson has just bought the loft above mine - same size/layout - for a price 2.5 times what I paid for 3 years ago (http://www.nytimes.com/2006/03/26/realestate/26deal.html?_r=1&oref=slogin);
so very good taste/style on her part, but you got to pay a large premium to live above the very famous - or infamous? - Roubini...lol...so, be quiet on a week nite or my neighbours will lose their Beauty Sleep...not that...

• Scarlett Johansson may have sent crushy emails to Barack Obama, but that doesn't mean she can't defend Hillary Clinton against sexist political pundits in the racist media. [Star]
• Michael Phelps is canoodling with the runner-up Miss California. Should we be allowing gold medal blood to be diluted by a Silver?? [R&M]
• Sarah Palin might appear on Saturday Night Live's Weekend Update special tonight to hilariously and viciously mock Tina Fey's American Express ad. Wait, her what now? [Jossip]
• Ben Stiller thought the Daily Show couldn't take sides in the presidential election. More worrisome, he also thought all nonprofits have to be politically balanced. Googling "527" will show Stiller only part of his error. But it's a start. [R&M]
• Arnold Schwarzenegger, on his wife Maria Shriver, as the state he runs flirts with insolvency: "Being a Democrat is a sickness." Uh, OK. [P6]
• Charlize Theron was unfaithful to her watch company, Raymond Weil, a court has ruled, so she might have to pay up to $20 million. What time is it? PAYBACK TIME. [Post]

• So now Demi Moore is dating Michael Phelps? After all of Ashton's hard work making "Punk'd" she just trades him in for a younger model? [P6]
• Adorable Tina Fey wins three Emmys, loses her purse. [AP]
• Lindsay Lohan is supposedly buying a condo in the Dakota. [Daily Star]
• Martha Stewart fired her hairdresser over excess markup on blonde hair dye. Let that be a lesson to all you stylists looking to make a fast buck on dye! [P6]
• Miley Cyrus can't wait to be done with Hannah Montana, supposedly. [TMZ]
• Scarlett Johansson slowly pissing off everyone on the Lower East Side, starting with this bouncer. [P6]
• Dolly Parton leaps from the audience at the "9 to 5" musical to keep everyone entertained during technical difficulties. Matt Drudge was touched by her showmanship. [KTLA via Drudge]
• Mariah Carey likes to have the bathroom all to herself, thank you very much. [P6, second item]
• Kate Moss may have finally broken up with Jamie Hince. [Sun]

• Lindsay Lohan called Sarah Palin a "narrow minded, media obsessed homophobe" on Lohan's MySpace page, citing a conference her church on "converting" gays. "She can suck it." [MySpace, Daily News]
• Anna Wintour really, really loved her 30 minutes with LeBron James. Even though it was at a screening. [R&M]
• Vogue's Andre Leon Talley does not appreciate being sprayed with champagne. [P6]
• NBC executive Ben Silverman wisely lets Jeff Zucker win at golf. He's still totally fired. [P6]
• More alleged underage sex victims sued billionaire and Bill Clinton buddy Jeffrey Epstein. [P6]
• Sidney Poitier will steal your wife and then not marry her. And then call her all kinds of un-Sidney-Poitier names! [P6]
• Swimmer Ryan Lochte doesn't have enough gold medals to get laid like Michael Phelps. [P6]
• Spike Lee declared himself done feuding with Clint Eastwood and moved on to Judd Apatow, "whatever that guy is." [Nikki Finke]
• Scarlett Johansson is a total prima donna now that she's Woody Allen's muse. Because that's what's made her a hot commodity. [P6]
• At George "Sulu" Takei's wedding, Chekhov was best man and Uhura was best lady. The husband was Brad Altman, 27 years younger. [ET]
• Amy Winehouse felt she was too ugly to go to her own 25th birthday party, supposedly. [Sun]
• Jennifer Lopez ran a triathlon in 2 hours 23 minutes, compared with 1 hour 30 minutes for Matthew McConaughey. [Us]

"This is what I've always loved about New York. Those little moments on the sidewalks, you can watch the buildings and feel the air and look at the people, and sometimes meet somebody you feel like you could talk to."

Which sort of highlights the problem, doesn't it! Like, hey, you can actually look at buildings and talk to strangers, technically, in any place that exists but in New York people have actually bought into the notion that their most mundane experiences and interactions are more special because someone might write a movie about them someday. When really the only decent movies about mundane experiences and quirky romantic interactions these days take place outside of New York (just ask Woody Allen!)**

*"Love in New York" is at best a problematic concept. I have already written about that here and here and here and let's be honest, probably a few thousand other places. My general take on this is that New Yorkers are conned—by their permalancer gigs and their sperm donors and their pretentious/prodigious collections of books written by misanthropic pervs and the commodity fetishism (not to mention the materialism!) and the constant distraction of mere survival when you have so many parties to attend and an overabundance of self-esteem—into thinking that they are actually "independent," and that the last thing they want to be is "codependent" when interdependence is the operating principle of human civilization. Just ask that Domino publisher who had to hire both an egg donor and a surrogate mother to make a baby!

Here is a New York, I Love You vignette: yesterday I hung out with an ex-boyfriend who was very sweetly comforting me about a recent breakup with another boyfriend about whom my favorite story goes:

Ex-boyfriend's Ex-Girlfriend, upon meeting me at a party: Oh my god, that time you wrote about how dating was like being waterboarded was just so true! I forwarded it to all my friends and they all agree that is exactly what dating in New York is like.
Me: How about some Jameson's?

Anyway said ex-boyfriend always used to seem confused that I was dating the more recent ex-boyfriend at all, since more recent ex-boyfriend was obviously not the most considerate dude in the world. "I will be your Yenta!" previous ex-boyfriend said, and proceeded to go through his phone. He scrolled through the whole alphabet with nary a suggestion, until he came to "X", where the more recent ex was listed. "Now I get it!" he said.

**Except for The Wackness because it was about 1. the nineties and 2. the actual love story was about a man and his pot dealer, so it was more realistic.

• Courtenay Semel, daughter of former Yahoo CEO Terry Semel, spent the night in jail after a night of carousing with her semi-girlfriend Tila Tequila and with Kourtney Kardashian. Semel apparently got into a fight with a security guard from Pure in Caesar's Palace, because what is there to do, other than be ANGRY at the world and at an underpaid hotel staffer, when you're a billionaire's daughter, on vacation in Las Vegas, leaving a glitzy nightclub with your smoking hot lesbian girlfriend? [P6]
• The Post writes, "Cher helped Bill Clinton celebrate his 62nd birthday Monday night in Las Vegas." No further details of this meeting or Cher's celebratory "help" are provided. [P6]
• Scarlett Johansson says she wants to delay her wedding because of the election. Her twin brother, you'll recall, works for Barack Obama. Groom Ryan Reynolds, presumably, is buying it. [Daily Express]
• Tori Spelling is definitely not doing the 90210 spinoff. She had been fighting with producers over getting paid less than Shannon Doherty, also from the original series. Spelling hopes "it turns out great." Which is either a lie or an indication her dad's estate is still getting royalties. [People]
• The online game Escape From Rehab allows you, Amy Winehouse, to stab enemies with your crack pipe and syringe as you try and rescue your husband from jail. [Sun]
• Actress Jennifer Garner confirmed she was pregnant, bringing relief to exasperated celebrity publications, who tended to use the word "finally" in their reporting. [Us]

• Barack Obama maybe has something new in common with Hillary Clinton, because according to Scarlett Johansson the whole foofaraw over Obama's email to her was "a product of extreme sexism." [AP]
• Jennifer Aniston is "so into" John Mayer, but according to Aniston's reps the actress is not getting married or having his baby, at least not yet, unless he asks, why did you hear he's about to ask or something?! No pressure! Anyway, supposedly OK! and Star got everything totally wrong. [Us]
• Sienna Miller would like everyone to know she did not break up Balthazar Getty's marriage, in fact she made sure he was separated first, because she tried that whole scene once with Jude Law and, OMG, MESS-Y! [P6]
• There is apparently some sort of controversy brewing over whether Paris Hilton did or did not use a teleprompter in her John McCain response video. The producers are on video saying she didn't, so maybe give her the benefit of the doubt, just this once.
• Morgan Freeman is divorcing his wife, but not over the woman he was in the car accident with. Apparently there was some cheating that predated that.

That's good enough for Page Six!

[HYB via Animal]

Obama said the actress doesn't have his personal email address. "She sent one email to Reggie, who forwarded it to me," Obama said, referring to his 26-year-old personal assistant, Reggie Love. "I write saying, 'thank you Scarlett for doing what you do,' and suddenly we have this email relationship"

One day, a hot politician is happy to engage in "thoughtful... back-and-forth correspondence," and the next he's denying that it means anything at all. Johansson's heart is so breaking. Oh, sweetie, this little tactic is called "moving to the center," and all powerful men do it once they've gotten what they want from their "base." By the time the inauguration comes, you'll have turned your heartache into a gratuitously overproduced hit record and forgotten all about this sad little e-incident.

[Washington Post via NYM]

Helmut Kohl clone staff 100% controlling all their clones spreading around the world, they are very accurate with that, some of them are still NAZI type disciplined and mind controlled clones, so be careful get close with clones you will be controlled as well. Think wise..

Apparently those clones are very actively shown on your website. This is just a warning, because original person is not happy about those images and video, rumors and etc., in that way it would be really nice if you try slow down that ''actress'' career development on your website, original Scarlett's parents will really appreciated that. Please do that, do not wait until FBI agent give you a call with questions. Please remember that original family did not authorize any activity with stolen biological materials, no matter what form it was created, it all need to be return back to original family control to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles.

Original Scarlett is not engage!
Her close friend Serg G.

P.S.
H.R. 534, the Human Cloning Prohibition Act of 2003, was introduced to the U.S. House of Representatives on February 5, 2003. After discussion, it was passed on February 27 by a vote of 241-155. It now moves on to the Senate for consideration. This bill makes it unlawful for any person or entity to perform or participate in human cloning, or to ship or receive embryos produced by human cloning. The penalties are imprisonment of up to 10 years and fines of $1 million or more.
These now join other nations as diverse as Norway, Australia, and Germany, which had already added cloning for any purpose to their criminal code. And in Germany where it carries a penalty of five years imprisonment they know a thing or two about unethical science.

• Republican-leaning movie star Bruce Willis opened a yuppie-friendly wine bar in the East Village, which prompted protests from neighborhood lefties and counterprotests from the Young Republicans. Turns out? He's not a partner in the bar, he just lent his name as a favor. Because, you know, wine, action movie star Bruce Willis — the connection is obvious. Plus he totally made those wine cooler commercials in the 80s. [Observer]
• Premium seats for Broadway's All My Sons will sell for $251, as opposed to the usual $100, because of sudden surge in the popularity of Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright Arthur Miller. Ha ha, just kidding, it's because the play features Katie Holmes, the middling movie star married to insane cultist Tom Cruise. The market works! [E!]
• The threesome involving Scarlett Johansson, Penélope Cruz and Javier Bardem takes up less than 20 seconds of Woody Allen's new movie, according to Allen, but the marketing department is going to milk those precious seconds for all they are worth, starting with the poster.
• OMG a fashiongay is going to ruin the Obama campaign! "Some Dems fear that in the months ahead, [Andre Leon] Talley, a huge fan of Oscar de la Renta, will steer Michelle into a Bolero jacket or an outfit even more ill-advised." Yes, a big public fight about which expensive outfits Michelle Obama should wear is just what Barack "Elite" Obama needs right now. [P6]
• Miley Cyrus' dad, country music star Bill Ray Cyrus, revealed that he left the Vanity Fair photo shoot before Annie Leibovitz took the infamous picture of his daughter in a bed sheet. "Stuff happens. That's life... It's not a mistake to me." [Daily Star]
• Here's a picture of Kate Moss flashing her boobs in Turkey and setting back Islamic/Western relations 20 more years. [Sun]
• Ashey Olsen went public with her dalliance with movie star Justin Bartha, then proceeded to get way too cutesy: "Told they had a reserved love seat in the theater, Olsen affectionately rubbed Bartha's back and giggled, 'That sounds good!'" Awww... barf.
• Matthew McConaughey's wife is pregnant, so he went "surfing" in Nicaragua alone, which of course means mostly carousing in bars. He denies hitting on various women, but admits to losing his left flip-flop, and even offers a reward, which is JUST bizarre enough to make you forget about the cheating. Smarter than he looks. [R&M]
• Police have been searching for Sam Israel, a hedge funder they think faked his own suicide just before starting a 20-year-prison sentence. But it turns out he thinks he can time travel, so the Post wonders if he "FLED TO THE PAST?"
• If her friends weren't here, Naomi Campbell would totally stab you! And then come back the next day to apologize! And then try to put the incident behind her! [Showbiz Spy]
• Britney Spears is selling her house, which means the paprazzi will leave and broke neighbor Ed McMahon may finally be able to sell his place. Spears will be destroying property values in Encino next. [E!]

• Victoria Gotti didn't realize she was getting a $70,000 memoir advance to dish dirt on her mobster dad John. Or maybe she did, but she never thought HarperCollins would have the stones to demand it back. [Post]
• Woody Allen concedes there are threesomes and lesbian scenes in his movie involving Penelope Cruz and Scarlett Johansson and, but explains they constitute "not even 20 seconds of sex." So... about 75 cents per second at the multiplex? Sold. (Oh, the guy: Javier Bardem.) [Showbiz Spy]
• Lindsay Lohan's girlfriend Samantha Ronson posted a MySpace picture of the couple kissing, then thought better of it and removed the picture. [Perez Hilton]
• Someone found an insurance company insane enough to cover Lohan's forthcoming movie, Labor Pains, a romantic comedy that will fix Lohan's life forever. [R&M]
• Still under a spell cast by Vanity Fair mystic Annie Leibovitz, normally chaste 15-year-old Miley Cyrus hooked up with her 22-year-old backup ancer "Marshall." And there are a couple of pictures. [ThinkFashion]
• Heather Mills, yelling in a New York penthouse about puppy mills and feeling a little victimized herself: "I haven't been up for 24 hours and flew here from London to be ignored!" [P6]
• Designed Tommy Hilfiger is going to be in some sort of Bravo special. [P6]
• Meadow Soprano is moving to LA for some TV work. [OK!]

TedSez's new line beats the original, "Ryan Reynolds? What's a Ryan Reynolds? Ryan Reynolds. I'll Tell Ya What, It's- It's- It's Crazy. Ryan Reynolds."

[For a less harsh appraisal, earlier]

• Bill Murray: She was in the movie Lost In Translation with him. "I don't even remember what I did off screen, I was so jetlagged," she says. Profound.
• Woody Allen: She just finished shooting her third movie with him. "I'm always kind of weirded out when I'm interviewed by people who say, 'Gosh! Woody must be in love with you.' It's like, 'fucking expand your mind,'" she says. Revelatory.
• Tom Waits: She is doing a cover album of his music. "I was this little blonde girl with a baritone singing voice, which at nine was freakish, I'm sure," she says. Epic.
• Barack Obama: She supports his campaign. "He's confronting health-care issues that affect young people. You know, most of my friends don't have insurance," She says. Heartwarming.
• Bob Dylan: She was in a video for his song. "I've been fortunate enough to never be the biggest media sensation," she says. Intense.

[BONUS: Her real father: She is his child. "My dad's Danish. That would be the first adjective I'd use to describe my father," she says. Specific.]

[Paste]

Scarlett Johansson - 450 W.15th St - I got into the elevator with ScarJo, but couldn't tell if it was her at first since she had sunglasses on. She got off on floor 2. When I left the building 15 minutes later, she got in the elevator again on the way down. This time, I heard her talk - it was 100% her signature voice. Looked normal and cute, but shorter than I would have imagined. She had darrrrk roots showing through her platinum blonde hair. Jogged to an SVU waiting outside, definitely in a hurry.

ScarJo at bowery ballroom taking in jessie baylins set. Standing to
the side, hair up and under a hat. No makeup, naturally gorgeous.
Oblivious to the all the stares.

Scarlett Johansson at Bowery Ballroom - She was there this evening with a few friends watching singer Jessie Baylin's set. She's really quite striking, and more petite than I expected (and clearly not shy about standing right up front). She seemed very relaxed and looked like she was really enjoying herself.

These magazines are just playing into the stereotype of black people opening their mouths all wide. And so soon after after Bill O'Reilly taught us that "there wasn't any kind of craziness" at all at a Harlem soul food spot.

Of course, an open mouth pose is not a trick to eliminate a double chin. It can only mean one thing: sex. Scary and dangerous black people sex. As Emil Wilbekin, editor of Giant, which often features black women with open mouths on its cover, says, "that raises my eyebrow as to how African-Americans are portrayed on mainstream magazine covers. You would not show Charlize Theron or Scarlett Johansson screaming."

Indeed, white actresses Charlize Theron or Scarlett Johansson would never be shot with their mouths open in a sexual way. Never, never.

Maybe these covers are chosen, subconsciously, because of their vague resemblance to classically racist imagery. And that's totally f'ed. But also totally f'ed: smart people wasting their time with Vogue.

[SCARJO PICTURES END HERE]

mitchel_stevens' new line beats out the original, Actress and Brave Explorer Weathers The Bitter, Bitter New York-In-March Cold.

Flashman's new line beats the original, A Teenage Boy's Head Explodes.

Helman's new line beats the original, Conjoined Twins Awkwardly Enter Into Arranged Marriage.

With additional reporting by Richard Lawson.

Track Listing:

1. "Fawn"
2. "Town With No Cheer"
3. "Falling Down"
4. "Anywhere I Lay My Head"
5. "Fannin' Street"
6. "Song for Jo"
7. "Green Grass"
8. "I Wish I Was in New Orleans"
9. "I Don't Want to Grow Up"
10. "No One Knows I'm Gone"
11. "Who Are You?"

Steverino' new line beats the original, Strange Alien Fascinates Your Cousin Ricky, Uncle Bruce