Gawker: Sci-fi

Let's Watch the Terminator: Salvation Teaser!

ian spiegelman — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 10:04:43 EDT

Christian Bale is now officially the biggest action star in the world, and next year he's starring in the Terminator: Salvation—which takes place in the future! So, here's the teaser trailer. I didn't even know it was online!

Fata Morgana: The Best X-Files Episodes

Michael Weiss — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 13:15:24 EDT

The reviews for the new X-Files: I Want To Believe flick are pretty grim. Manohla Dargis in the Times calls it "baggy, draggy, oddly timed and strangely off the mark," and Dana Stevens at Slate says it should be subtitled I Want To Care. But her colleague Juliet Lapidos makes a good point about why this is so disappointing — the film was conceived as a standalone episode, mercifully divorced from the muddled meta-narrative about how a government Syndicate was in cahoots with aliens looking to colonize the planet. (Joe Klein bangs that drum every time he writes "neocon.") X-Files standalones were really the gems of the series and most of them, as Lapidos shrewdly observes, were written by Darin Morgan, who also acted in others. If Charlie Kaufman had a brother, he'd be Darin Morgan (as it happens, he's the brother of one of the show's regular writers, Glen Morgan). After the jump, the best episodes cooked up by — or just featuring — this genius homunculus. Then we want your selections in the comments.

“Humbug”

No "Humbug," no HBO's Carnivàle. OK, maybe that's going too far, but this was the first episode written by Morgan, who brought winking self-parody and a Northern Exposure-like character quirkiness to the series. It’s set in Gibsontown, Florida, a retirement community for circus folk, to which Mulder and Scully are drawn after the mysterious but patternistic death of “Alligator Man” (guess what he looks like). There’s a local sheriff who used to be known as “Dog Boy” until alopecia robbed him of his freakiness; a conjoined twin who can detach from his unloved brother; and a human jigsaw puzzle, The Conundrum, who dines on live animals. Yet the chief suspect is the Fiji Mermaid, a supposedly apocryphal monkey-fish hybrid. Below, a clip of Blockhead, one of the more self-assured performers who hammers nails into his face.

"Small Potatoes"

Darin Morgan didn’t write this one, but he guest starred in it as Eddie Van Blundht, a schlubby nobody (ergo the title) save for the fact that he was born with a tail and has been impregnating a whole townful of women in West Virginia via his enviable ability to shape-shift into sexually charismatic fantasy figures, like Luke Skywalker. Also Mulder, whom Van Blundht embodies in order to seduce Scully in a terrific scene. See clip.

"The Host"

Morgan’s first guest starring role was as a human-sized flukeworm (“Flukeman”) who lives in the sewer and eats people. Not much beyond gross-out factor superficially, but the episode did prey upon this New Yorker’s fear of C.H.U.D.s, Ninja Turtles, and drainpipe gators. Oh, and there's a slightly hamhanded man-reaks-havoc-on-nature footnote about how "we made this." Flukeman arrived on a ship used to dispose of radioactive waste materials from Chernobyl.

“Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose”

Morgan won an Emmy for the script, and Peter Boyle won one for his portrayal of Clyde Bruckman, a psychic insurance salesman who glimpses how people are going to die (how brilliant is that?) The premise of the episode is Mulder and Scully’s investigation of a spate of murders in which the victims are all fortunetellers. It features a Uri Geller-like baffoon called the Stupendous Yappi, whom Mulder doubts has any ESP mojo. Also memorable for Bruckman’s prediction that Mulder dies of “autoerotic asphyxiation" and Scully doesn’t die at all (and they call him "spooky"). There's great dialogue in this episode, especially this exchange the hangdog Bruckman has with a would-be policy-buyer, which we provide in lieu of a missing YouTube:

Bruckman: "You don't get it do ya kid...two years from now, while driving down Route 91 coming home to your wife and baby daughter, you're going to be hit head-on by a drunk driving a blue '87 Mustang. You'll end up looking worse than sixty feet of bad road your body slides across after flying out your windshield."

Customer: "Mister, you really need to work on your closing technique!"

That should be the new Geico commercial.

New Battlestar Galactica Movies Are Coming!

ian spiegelman — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 15:53:01 EDT

Yay! Even after the Sci-Fi Channel's space sock-hop Battlestar Galactica finishes its final season next year, there will still be more BSG for all—in movie form! Former Gawker Choire Sicha is reporting for the LA Times that the first of as many as three Battlestar made-for-TV movies has just gotten the go ahead. And he got it right from Pretty Asian Cyclon herself, Grace Park: "'I just heard about the first Battlestar movie being greenlit,' said Park [...] A TV movie, but still! But this—it's like, yeah, it's over but we're ready to move on but nobody's manager or agent has been called. It's supposed to start in August.'" And what can she tell us about the end of the series?

"The cast has so far seen most of the series' final episodes, which will air in (sigh!) 2009. 'There's one episode where everything is explained and I had to read it three times,' Park said. 'I had to sit down with [executive producer] Ron Moore and he had to break it down.'

"Among other tidbits (the interview with Park will run here on July 20), Park also confirmed the presence of a child actor on set—one of the toddlers who plays her character Sharon 'Athena' Agathon's daughter, the Cylon-human offspring Hera." [LAT]

Battlestar Galactica: The End

ian spiegelman — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 13:17:48 EDT

So last night was the mid-season finale of the Sci-Fi Channel's space Bar Mitzvah Battlestar Galactica. Yep, no more episodes til January, so I paid special close attention. Actually, no, of course I didn't. I didn't even know it was the mid-season finale until I read it in the news this morning! So this week's roundup is just as whiskey-warbled as ever. This time I know there are spoilers, so keep out if you care about that. If not, jump!

Old Eyepatchy just outed himself to Miami Vice! "I'm one of the four." Kill him!
But Miami Vice thinks Eyepatchy just has a chip in his head. "When I met you you had hair. I never heard of a skin job aging."
But Eyepatchy has a way out! You can live! You can live! Freeeeeedom!
Miami Vice: "There is no fracking earth!" Geez, kinda cheer up already, old man. These space people look up to you!
Yeah, torture Eyepatchy! Torture him to madness!
Hey wait! You're not President Boringface Actorman. You're gonna kill the fleet? You're the bad guy?! Kill him!
Don't you people point your guns at Blonde Tomboy Space Girl! Shoot Chief Fatty Q. Workingstiff in his gut if you wanna, but leave Blonde Tomboy Space Girl alone!
OMG! Cyclons! Cyclons everywhere!
You Secret Cyclons are fucked!
Yes! Blonde Tomboy Space Girl is in her space plane! She'll save everyone! She is God with a pretty nose and nice hair!
Awww! Look how happy she is! She knows something...
I'm gonna put exclamation points here! here! and here!
Oh Jesusface. You're the good guy?!
Kill President Boringface Actorman! Kill him dead!
Oh shut up Xena. They'd forgive you for what you did on the colonies if you'd stop killing them. So stop killing them!
Blonde Tomboy Space Girl did it! She saved everyone! Yaaaaaay!
Amnesty for the Secret Cyclons! Yaaaaay!
Boringface and Lady MacDeath and Miami Vice are all best buds now. Yaaaaaay!
Earth! Earth! Earth! Earth! Earth! Yaaaaaaay!
Um, uh? What the fuck is up with earth? It's all...
You maniacs! You blew it up! Damn you! Damn you all to hell!

Cable: The Old New Big Thing

Hamilton Nolan — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 14:49:42 EDT

TV is dying, right? We read about it online. Kids these days spend all their time on YouTube, and television is left to geriatrics watching Depends ads, right? But no! One word, friends: Cable. Just today, news came out that the executives at Discovery Communications, home of the Discovery Channel, are some of the highest paid in all of the media—their CEO took home $20 million, right up there with the Viacoms and Time Warners of the world. How did little old cable get so rich? Good timing, good programming, and a little bit of luck. Learn and marvel!

Look at what's working in cable's favor today:

Decline of the networks.

The networks plus cable equals the whole TV pie. And it's a huge pie. Any advertiser wanting to reach the most coveted demographic of all—relatively young men and women—has to spend big on TV. The internet hasn't destroyed television as it has print media. And the networks' roster of shows these days is weak, historically speaking—which was exacerbated by the writer's strike last year. The president of TBS says:

"There is very little consistency in what they are doing, and people don't know what to expect when they turn on the broadcast networks. They are still in the business of appointment television, but there are fewer and fewer appointments. There's a great big opportunity for cable networks."

Cable programming is getting better and better.

The days when the networks were automatically presumed to have the best shows are long gone. It's not just premium cable channels like HBO that changed the equation, either. Bravo, Nat Geo, Discovery, the Sci-Fi Channel—all are dominant players in their programming fields, in terms of quality. Cable channels have fewer content restrictions, and they've virtually eliminated the barriers to snagging good talent. Think of your favorite shows. How many of them are on cable? MOST OF THEM. Why? They're investing:

Annual spending on programming by basic networks has doubled in the last five years from $9.2 billion in 2002 to $18.8 billion in 2007, and the top 20 cable networks spent an average of $566 million per network during 2007 compared with $321 million in 2002.

Cable is confident.

The dominant theme of reporting on the television upfronts this year was the surging confidence of cable channels. They're consciously positioning themselves as direct competitors to the networks. They've grown their audiences to the point that they can't be disregarded by the same advertisers who support the networks. Money is pouring in. Discovery—that home of fine executive pay—isn't just generous with its CEO; its stock price grew more than 50% last year. The Sci-Fi Channel makes profits in the range of 40%. It's driven by good programming, which is only becoming a stronger and stronger pull for audience growth; that's one lesson of the internet, where content trumps big money. In the past decade, the overall cable audience has more than doubled.

Networks must, by design, try for mass appeal. Cable channels can target their audiences much more effectively. The scary thing for networks is that even specialized cable channels no longer represent just a niche audience any more; they are almost as plugged into the mainstream as the networks themselves. Virtually all American households at least have the option of cable, and the majority are cable subscribers. The industry is sitting in a sweet spot: it's already big enough to have reached critical mass, and it still has plenty of room to grow.

If this keeps up, I may even get cable myself.

[NYT, WSJ, NCTA]

Battlestar Galactica Goo-Baths For All!

ian spiegelman — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 09:55:07 EDT

Hey so last night was that big important episode of the Sci-Fi Channel's space cotillion Battlestar Galactica. Are you just dying to find out what happened? So am I!

Huh? Where did that goo-bath come from? And why is the High-Bread Queen alive again? No fair!
Oh snap. Acid freak-out. Maybe President Lady MacDeath or Smokey Assistant Crazypants will tell me what's going on. No? Crap.
Pretty Asian Cyclon: "The High-Bread makes her own decisions." Can she decide to get Blonde Tomboy Space Girl out here pronto?
Prez MacDeath to Miami Vice: "You don't love people." Who could love people when your a person, you fracking windbag.
Now she wants to blow up all the goo-baths everywhere! And she is so sneaky and snakey about it!
Yay Xena! Yay slippery wet goo-bath Xena!!
Bleachy Cyclon tells Macho Borefaced Actorman that her space plane training is as good as anyone's and he's all, "The 24 I shot down prove otherwise." Crack his stupid head open with your robot strength, Bleachy! I love it when you do that!
MacDeath is imagining killing High-Bread baby. Hey, that's Pretty Asian Cyclon's vision, vision thief!
Um, Dr. Jesusface? You can't pull your psycho-babble crap on a Centurion. He's a straight-up robot, dumbass.
That Other Guy wants to find a Cyclon body, coz then he can find the goo-baths? I guess?
ATTACK! Ha! Didn't see that one coming, did you, Lady MacDeath? Have a vision of that next time, jerky!
Space fight! Space fight! Blow the Hub!
OMG! That big-ass metal robot is totally listening to Dr. Jesusface!
OMG! Xena is totally hot as balls!
Franken-Cyclon! Franken Cyclon!
You gave the access codes to the Cyclons?! You are soooo dead!

OMG! Naughty Pics of Pretty Asian Cyclon!

ian spiegelman — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 20:28:43 EDT

Yay! Battlestar Galactica's Pretty Asian Cyclon (AKA Grace Park) has provided us with a wonderful shiny cheesecake photo shoot! How lovely! But where the hell is Blonde Tomboy Space Girl's layout?! Huh?? More and more photos after the jump.

[Complex via OhNoTheyDidn't]

I Want It! I Want It! I Want It!

ian spiegelman — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 15:43:33 EDT

They're selling life-sized repilca Cyclons just like the ones in Battlestar Galactica! "You can get one from either the dopey original series or the cool new one. These Cylons [sic] are seven feet tall, weight 300 pounds, have little LED lighting effects in their visors - and sell for a cool $7,900. (That's, like, $8,000 minus the $100 Hopeless-Nerd Rebate.)" Um, anyone got $7,900 handy? Pay you back, I promise! [InsideSoCal]

Battlestar Galactica: Too. Many. Boys!

ian spiegelman — Sat, 31 May 2008 11:57:25 EDT

What happened last night on the Sci-Fi Channel's sweaty, greasy, sinewy space ballet that is Battlestar Galactica? As I snoozed in air-conditioned bliss, my liver was good enough to jot down some notes. As usual: Spoilers? Could be!

"Tonight's movie will be The Glory Brigade. Rock 'em, sock 'em... kisses you never got..." Oh wait. That's MASH. What the heck channel am I on?
Bleachy Cyclon dying? Again? And Pretty Asian Cyclon shot her? Why?!
Now Saggyface Actorman is president? How many presidents you people gonna get?
Oh Pretty Asian Cyclon. You can't go around shooting people in the gut coz you have "visions". No one wants your little high-bread baby anyway.
"Get her out of my sight!" You know, Miami Vice, you're starting to get on my nerves. And you looked silly being secret ninja man on that other show.
Great. Old Eyepatchy and Miami Vice babbling at each other again. Blonde Tomboy Space Girl, mofos! Bring her out. Bring her out now.
Saggyface Actorman and Hollywood Neutral Hunkbot arguing. Kee-righst! If you have a penis, get off my TV right now!
This is getting to be like Buffy if they did a whole episode with just Xander and Giles and Spike. Except none of those guys suck!
Only high-breads can find the goo-ship, Bleachy? So you are gonna steal Pretty Asian Cyclon's baby!
Ew Bleachy! Stop touching Old Eyepatchy! Quit it!
What's with the fucking leprechaun? No one's got you stinkin' pot o' gold.
Blonde Tomboy Space Girl! Yaaaaaaay! But, huh? Full dress uniform? No sweaty cleavage or biceps? No greasy hair? You people are killing me!
And now she's gone.
Leprechaun speech. I am so out of here!
"It's got what plants crave. It's got electrolytes." Ha!

Sci-Fi Channel Destroying Definition Of Science Fiction

Ryan Tate — Mon, 19 May 2008 05:58:43 EDT

Have you ever flipped over to the Sci Fi Channel and wondered why it was showing wrestling, or a series about superheroes' naughty wives, or a movie like Field of Dreams or Indiana Jones? It's because this sort of brand dilution is the only way to reach women and thus grow ratings, Sci Fi President Dave Howe believes. He told the Times, "It’s not just aliens, spaceships and the future... It’s about asking that simple question, 'What if?'" His NBC cylon overlord Bonnie Hammer found a more menacing way to say the same thing:

"We had to broaden the channel to change the misconceptions of the genre... that it was for geeky young men."

Amazing, then, that I know two women once far more into Sci Fi Channel mainstay Battlestar Gallactica than I, at least until the plot took a turn for the sappy, despite the fact that it features both spaceships and the future. And my favorite Sci Fi blog is even edited by a woman.

But of course the channel can always count on those sorts of hard-core fans tuning in, even if the name is disastrously changed to "the Imagination Channel" as once discussed, according to the Times article. In the meantime network executives are trying to build a global mega-brand, and to them the "Sci Fi" in "Sci Fi Channel" is best viewed, as Howe puts it, as merely an advantageous "signpost" amid "the fragmentation of media," albeit one with a "downside" — the downside being that the channel taken at face value, and believed to be sci fi in nature, when in fact it wants to be So Much More, and thus so much less.

[Times]

Robots? Yes, Please.

ian spiegelman — Sun, 18 May 2008 14:33:21 EDT

The robots are coming. They are going to steal old peoples' medicine with their hard metal hook-hands and there is nothing we can do about it but marvel at their coolness. Some of the top perpetrators after the jump.

[Wired]

Battlestar Galactica: Killfest!

ian spiegelman — Sat, 10 May 2008 12:16:43 EDT

What happened this week on The Sci-Fi Channel's space disco Battlestar Galactica? I dunno. I was blotto and thinking about Smurfs. But I took notes, as always. There was more shooting than usual, which is always nice. After the jump, spoilers! Maybe!

Step to Blonde Tomboy Space Girl, get kneecapped. Now you know.
Don't take Pretty Asian Cyclon with you to meet the rebels! She just tried to mutiny your ass!
President GetDead is bald, Chief Fatty Q. Workingstiff is bald... What's with all the baldness, baldies?
When did Smokey Assistant Crazypants get all calm and professional? I smell a trap!
So does Blonde Tomboy Space Girl...
The comet is the ship? Dunno what that means but it makes Blonde Tomboy Space Girl all giggly and cute!
Ack! Cyclons!
Oooo... Good Pretty Asian Cyclon and Rebel Asian Cyclons slumber party!
Mutiny against Bleachy Cyclon!
Oh Bleachy, you can't go around beating humans to death like that. They don't even have goo baths.
Bleachy and Red Cyclon lesbian make-out! Kiss goodbye. Ouch.
Oh man, and no goo bath ship! Bye Bleachy Cyclon.
The Hybrid! Meh.
"The missing three will give you the five who have come from the home of the thirteenth." Wha?
"You are the harbinger of death, Kara Three." Kara Three? More Blonde Tomboy Space Girls? Where do I get one?!
"Mission Accomplished"? Are you gettin' funny on me?

Battlestar Galactica: Trouble for Blonde Tomboy Space Girl!

ian spiegelman — Sat, 03 May 2008 13:51:45 EDT

How are things this week for the humans and robots of the Sci-Fi Channel's Battlestar Galactica? Bad! Me, and my liver, humbly submit this report on last night's space rodeo.

Don't you get in that viper, Blonde Tomboy Space Girl! It makes you crazy!
Dr. Jesusface: "How does that make you feel?" Oh great. Now he's a fracking psycholologist...
"The gods don't exist! We have been pandering to our own ignorance for far too long!" Dayum, Doctor. Who knew you had it in ya?
You will not undermine Blonde Tomboy Space Girl, Pretty Asian Cyclon! Earth is not a pipe dream! She has magic and you are jealous, stupid jealous Cyclon!
Get away from that ship, Blonde Tomboy Space Girl! It's full of Cyclons!
Don't talk to him!
Don't let him into your quarters! He'll get into your head! Nooooes...
"Anesthetizing yourself with ambrosia and petty affairs!" That's just how the Blonde Tomboy Space Girl rolls, ass.
Chief Fatty Q. Workingstiff still doesn't know Secret Cyclon Lady killed his wife? And now she's blaming him?! Oh, Fatty, you really are a dumb fuck.
Don't be planning mutiny, Pretty Asian Cyclon. Know why? Coz, busted!
Ew. Ol' Doc Jesusface and Secret Cyclon Lady having smelly-looking nerd sex. Ew.
Great. Now he's making a speech. Great, now Old Eyepatchy's making a speech. Does anyone in space ever STFU?
The most boring woman ever is inspecting the hull. And now she's dead. Yay, death!
Fatty is thinking! Fatty is pissed.
Yes, Fatty, choke him! Choke Jesusface!! Choke him more!!!
Ack! Mutiny! Space Girrrrrrrl! Noooooes...

Battlestar Galactica: This Week in Space

ian spiegelman — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 14:05:27 EDT

Here is this week's roundup of the Sci-Fi Channel's rocking space opera Battlestar Galactica, from notes I took last night from deep within a liter of Johnny Walker Red Lable. (And here are the other weeks.) Could be spoilers, could maybe not be—how would I know?

Ooh... Jesus Doctor in kinky bondage funtimes with Secret Cyclon lady!
Bondage funtimes with Secret Cyclon not really so fun.
Wha? Jesus Doctor's harem invaded by gay bikers from The Road Warrior? Where is Lord Humongous?!
Hey, Chief Fatty Q. Workingstiff! Your wife is space food. Didn't anybody tell you yet?
Silly pilot lady... You can't land on your nose!
Bleachy Cyclon's in Doctor Jesus's head—Are we still doing that?
Raid on the temple! Turn over the money changers' tables! Cliche complete!
23 minutes in and STILL NO BLONDE TOMBOY SPACE GIRL!
Gravel is for rustic driveways, Miami Vice. You don't eat it.
Old Eyepatchy wants Bleachy Cyclon to be his Oprah friend and tell him what it's like to have so many deaths on her bony hands.
Chief Fatty Q. Workingstiff: "I settled! I settled for that freak! Those dull fracking eyes!" You are a mechanic with a studio apartment and you want to get the hotties? It's space, fatboy. Not Long Island.
Eww... Old Eyepatchy's eye! Haha... Bleachy just beat the shit out of you!
Blonde Tomboy Space Girl... Where are you?? ::sniffle::

Battlestar Prequel: Imagine The Wire In Space

ian spiegelman — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 16:27:40 EDT

The fanatics at TheTVAddict.com have gotten their hands on a script for Caprica, the prequel spin-off of the Sci-Fi Channel's awesome Battlestar Galactica. "CAPRICA, set a mere fifty-one years prior to the planet’s destruction portrays a far seedier version of modern day earth, essentially reading like an episode of HBO’s THE WIRE. Like all Ronald D. Moore projects, the pilot is riddled with political intrigue, racial prejudice, [and] religious zealots."

One of the main characters is "Father/Billionaire scientist Daniel Graystone. Sure he may not be the world’s most attentive parent, but can you really blame him? He’s awfully busy worrying that his company is on the verge of losing the Government contract for the Robot Super-soldier and Meta-Cognitive Processor after wasting five years and half a billion cubits. Worse still, his lack of attention has led his wife Amanda to seek comfort in her husband’s chief rival Tomas Vergis [a Tauron!] while his daughter Zoey’s cries for attention lead her to an organization known as the 'Soldiers of One' — a monotheistic religious group that advocates the worship of a single, all-knowing, all powerful God whose mission is to quote, 'drive out the many Gods.'" Spoilers galore here.

Battlestar Galactica: Holy Fricking Frack!

ian spiegelman — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 13:05:52 EDT

I was even more booze-waggled than usual when I sat down last night to watch another installment of Battlestar Galactica's final season on the Sci-Fi channel. You see, I was making my way through the 2nd Avenue F train stop around 9:30 to escape filthy Manhattan for my beloved Queens when a familiar, gravelly voice, called, "Spiegelman!" It was none other than my fellow former Page Sixer, Chris Wilson. We hadn't seen each other in at least a year so, naturally, much more drinking ensued. But I did make it home for the midnight showing. And dutifully jotted the following:

Ew, sweet Asian Cyclon—Don't kiss Quantum Leap!
The Cyclons are split down the middle. Can I have the half with Xena in it?
Chief Fatty Q. Workingstiff is having an identity crisis coz he's a secret Cyclon. Waaah!
Miami Vice is reading to President Lady MacCancer? You gotta get dead, lame lady. You gotta get dead now.
Blonde tomboy space girl! Blonde tomboy space girl!
Don't give her guff, doubting pussies! She stands on top of you and talks down to you through a grid. You know coz why? Coz she's the fucking blonde tomboy space girl. That's coz why!
Bye, bye Council of Hottie Cyclons. ::sniffle::
Old Eyepatchy to Chief Fatty Q. Workingstiff: "The last thing we need is for your Cyclon hating wife to find out that there's a bunch of skin-jobs on this ship and that one of them is her husband." Then maybe you shouldn't'a said that out loud just now, jobby.
Wrench to the face! Wrench to the face!
Don't put the baby in the space chute! Nooooes!
Uh-oh. Bye-bye nice lady.

He's Dead, Jim.

ian spiegelman — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 11:23:20 EDT

I don't know about you, but I can't imagine a better way to start a glorious spring weekend than watching every single instance of Star Trek's Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy pronouncing some poor sucker dead compiled in one nifty clip. The grim-faced over-acting that barely concealed actor DeForest Kelley's seething hatred of William Shatner after the jump.

Oh hai. Click me.

One More Things: Dark Willow

ian spiegelman — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 17:55:48 EDT

Here are a bunch of videos setting Willow's brief-but-hot time as a psycho-sweet baddie on Buffy the Vampire Slayer to various forms of gloomy pop music. This first one's extra screechy!

This one's got a Wiccanny goddess kind of sound to it, which I think is nifty.
Only a boy would've made this one.
Evanescence.
OMG! Willow and Buffy in "Don't Speak."

Future Ads From the Past

ian spiegelman — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 16:03:15 EDT

Tee-hee. The Amadeus Net author Mark Rayner is hosting a photoshop contest at his blog that's yielding giggly results such as this one. More examples after the jump.

[MarkARayner via BoingBoing]

Battlestar Galactica: What Happened Now?

ian spiegelman — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 12:56:18 EDT

So, once again I eagerly tuned in for another final season episode of the Sci Fi Channel's super-grim and purely awesome Battlestar Galactica. But, once again, I was drunk. Drunk like one of those howler monkeys that live near resorts and steal people's drinks. Still, I did my best to take notes. They are here. (Possible spoilers—but I really don't know.)

Old Eyepatchy: "Talk all you want but it ends with the first bang." Huh? What ends?
President Lady MacCancer totally screwed blonde tomboy space girl! But the temple! The arrow! She trusted you! You're going the wrong way!
Wha? Quantum Leap is on this shit? And he's a Cyclon boss? How long has this been going on?
Haha! Blonde tomboy space girl just called Miami Vice the president's wet nurse!
Damn! Miami Vice just punched blonde tomboy space girl in the mouth! You suck!
Now Boring Face is the president!?!?
Ooo... The Departed is on HBO! Bostons talking stupid and killing each other. I'm outta here!

Battlestar Galactica: What Happened?

ian spiegelman — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 09:29:51 EDT

So I spent most of the week watching BSG marathons on the Sci-Fi Channel to get all caught up for last night's final season premiere episode. But I was stuck on the subway during the 10:00 p.m. showing and caught the midnight rerun. At that point I was totally smashed. Still, I took notes. But for some reason when I'm drunk-writing to myself I often get possessed by the Janitor from Scrubs. So I ended up with this:

"Old Eyepatchy and other maybe Cyclons don't do anything bad."
"Jesus Beard Doctor has all these wives."
"Miami Vice thinks blonde tomboy space girl is a Cyclon too."
"All those wives aren't as much fun as it looks."
Wish blonde tomboy space girl would beat me up.

What'd I miss?

Even When It's Bad, It's Good

Nick Denton — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:23:02 EDT

Battlestar Galactica, Sci Fi Channel's remake of the classic science fiction series, lost its way last season. Some of the Cylons, the machines dedicated to the destruction of humanity, developed consciences. In the final episode, four more human characters were delivered over, in a joblot, to the Cylons. The show's moral relativism was immensely refreshing in a genre generally given to absolutes; but, by the end of the third season, the struggle between man and machine has become so murky that one hardly cares. That said, Battlestar Galactica remains the most sophisticated science fiction series every made for television. The final season begins next week. (Most exciting moment, this month: lining up like a fanboy for photos with Boomer and Number Six, at Sci Fi Channel's upfront at the Morgan Library. Yes.) Via Vulture, a fellow dork, here are some witty Battlestar Galactica posters, in the style of World War Two propaganda. ENLARGE »

Dune is Back Again—Again

ian spiegelman — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 13:01:36 EDT

Remember in 1984 when you went to see Dune and you were totally psyched but 20 minutes into it you started thinking maybe you got a hold of some bad fish sticks at lunch? And after an hour the theater was all hot and twisting and you were sure you had mono? And then in 2000 there was that Dune miniseries that only had three parts but felt like it had a lot more? Well, Paramount is having another go at bringing Frank Herbert's 1965 sci-fi novel to the screen. Friday Night Lights director Peter Berg is signed to helm what producers promise will be a "more faithful" interpretation of the book. Is that a good thing? [Wired]

Arthur C Clarke, 90, Dies

Nick Douglas — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 18:27:36 EDT

The author of 2001: A Space Odyssey passed away in his home in Sri Lanka. While Gawker's sci-fi blog io9 will have a fuller obituary reflecting upon all his work, my favorite Arthur C Clarke book was actually Tales from the White Hart, which included a story about a man, working alone on an island, helping a colony of ants invent fire. In the same book, Clarke invented the idea of noise-canceling headphones, though his fictional version turned into a bomb. Clarke was the last of the golden-era sci-fi greats, and I'll be drinking to him tonight. [Photo: Getty]