After holding up financial regulatory reform several times to make it more big-bank-friendly, John McCain's enemy, Scott Brown, has finally agreed to support the bill. Its passage seems likely now, although some new asshole will start whining soon enough.

New York has published a depressing profile of John McCain and his quest to become a boring right-wing hack who can survive a Republican primary. He's so miserable. And he doesn't appreciate naked children like Scott Brown giving him advice!

Did you know that Sen. Scott Brown is our President, right now? He's calling all the shots on financial reform! He got what he wanted yesterday — removal of a bank tax — but still won't pledge to vote yes.

Today we looked at how prettyboy Massachusetts (sigh) senator Scott Brown totally doesn't want to pass finance reform. One commenter poetically elaborated on a sad and obvious fact: Brown isn't actually making any decisions himself.

Since Scott Brown is scared of making enormous banks pay a few bucks to implement financial regulatory reform, Congress has re-opened "closed" negotiations and will probably take the cash from either small banks or your tax dollars. Seriously. [Image: AP]

It didn't take sexy Massachusetts Sen. Scott Brown long to become Washington's Greatest Corporate Whore, did it? After Democrats inserted loopholes specifically to secure his vote, Brown has decided to vote no on the financial reform bill, threatening its passage.

[Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan shot Sen. John Kerry the death stare today when he gave America's nakedest Senator Scott Brown a flirty squeeze during her first day of confirmation hearings. Photo via Getty Images.]

Sen. Scott Brown's not-really-famous daughter, Ayla, recently got a job as a CBS Early Show correspondent. Flush with possible stories, she settled on "interviewing her dad" for her most recent segment, pretty much exhausting her entire long-term usefulness to CBS.

Today we looked at Massachusetts senator Scott Brown's Fourth of July essay contest, for which he's charging $50 per entry. We're not sure what Brown's tastes are, but we think one commenter has it locked up.

Massachusetts tween sex god Sen. Scott Brown has started an essay contest about Independence Day! Brown will pick up the winner in his truck, head to a baseball game, and then, well... use your imagination, eh? Also: Brown wants $50.

Before he was America's favorite naked senator, Massachusetts Republican Scott Brown used to be a model with "Excellent Hands" and "perfect nails." See the only sitting senator whose pubes have been photographed for Cosmo gaze mistily into a middle distance.

Ayla Brown, the American Idol-singing daughter of Massachusetts Sen. Scott Brown, just landed a job as a CBS Early Show contributor. Old nepotism: Inheriting your parent's political seat. New nepotism: Parlaying it into a media career.

Today at Gawker.TV, Jon Stewart has strong words for the extremists threatening South Park, Senator Scott Brown responds to that SNL sketch, and The Marriage Ref thinks it's just fine to duck tape you wife's mouth shut, and more!

Prominent state GOP figures are looking for any excuse to avoid Sarah Palin's Boston Tea Party tomorrow, and those who do attend will be keeping a low profile. Tea Party crashers will be there too. Why the concern?

The Massachusetts centerfold senator is avoiding a Palin Tea Party rally on the Boston Common on Wednesday. But local Tea Partiers claim they aren't mad, because Brown "has half a century of Kennedy damage to compensate for." Conservative tension brewing!

A new study about sexual habits and a memoir continue the nation's obsession with the former Commanding Member-in-Chief. It caused one of the great national scandals of our day, but it is time to give the old boy a rest.

There are times when the man pictured on the front page of the paper is a total hottie. Read further and you learn he's a terrorist or murderer. Here are some crushes that come with a side serving of guilt.