Presumably Hannity fill the extra airtime shouting at invited guests and interviewing more Jew-fearing sources for his "investigations" into Barack Obama and other secret Muslims.

Though the idea of left-right balanced opinion shows has become passe (thanks in part to Jon Stewart's reaming of Crossfire), Fox News might have been better off going the other way. It can be fun to watch Hannity take it on the chin, as happened all too rarely on Hannity and Colmes. One exception was the clip above, in which Colmes slams Hannity over his double standard on marital affairs; below, Obama aide Robert Gibbs hounds Hannity over an anti-Semitic source.

It was true: vocal portions of the audience had objected to one or two of Stewart's Obama's jokes, even though the lines mocked campaign stereotypes about the politician rather than the president elect himself. (Click the video player above to watch.)

But campaign fever will break, and studio audiences will get less touchy about Obama jokes. And Stewart will be able to keep cranking out jokes for the same reason Fox News will be able to keep producing right-leaning commentary: Obama's honeymoon will end, as it does for all presidents. He will, inevitably, misstep.

The only question is whether there will be enough Obama mistakes to support everyone's ratings base. There's always Congress!

Let's take a look at the original data from Pew Research. Only 71% of the readers of the New Yorker or The Atlantic could name the House majority party or the Secretary of State. So who scores highest? Viewers of conservative shouting head Sean Hannity on Fox News and radio host Rush Limbaugh.

The only question the liberals got right more often? The name of the leader of one of those foreign countries. So they're not only ignorant; they're anti-American.

Fox has a fantastic story and gets to mock Jesse Jackson, and Barack Obama finds the spectre of "militant," scary-to-whites black people distancing themselves from him without him having to sell anyone out! Seriously, will the white people who watch Fox News think, upon hearing this tape, that they are forced to side with Jesse Jackson? Will Bill argue that Obama has sold out the black community by calling for more personal responsibility and less reliance on the government, which seems to be what Jackson thinks?

Or will everyone just pile on Jesse, like always, and help Barry win over those blue-collar whites Chris Matthews thinks are so important?

WAS THIS WHOLE THING ENGINEERED?

• 1. Katie Couric, at the extreme left of our chart, is so heavily disliked by Republican viewers that the new CBS anchor might as well be a communist.
• 2. By calculating the balance of Democratic and Republican opinion, we arrayed the anchors across the political spectrum: nearly two-thirds of the anchors slant left, at least in respondents minds; but the right-wing anchors of Fox News are the most polarizing.
• 3. Viewers are surprisingly indifferent to Lou Dobbs: I would have thought the CNN anchor's anti-immigration stance would have won him more conservative fans.
• 4. Disliked by all political tribes: CNN's diaper-wearing Larry King; oh-so-serious Wolf Blitzer; Fox's token liberal, Alan Colmes; CNN's graceless Nancy Grace and Scientologist Greta Van Susteren.
• 5. All things to all people: ABC nightly news anchor Charlie Gibson; NBC's Brian Williams; and, surprisingly, CNN's silver fox, Anderson Cooper. (Better not let the social conservatives know that he likes Latin men!)

Methodology: Harris asked respondents for the three most liked and disliked TV personalities; we took the net totals for survey participants who also gave a political affiliation. For instance, 42% of Republicans liked Bill O'Reilly, and 10% disliked him, giving him a net approval rating among Republicans of 32%, indicated by the substantial red bar under his name. Only 11% of Democrats said they liked the controversial Fox News anchor, and 34% named him one of their least favorite news figures, giving him a net approval rating among Democrats of negative 23%, marked by the blue bar stretching below the x-axis.

Like it or not, the holidays are upon us. I'm sure when you were stumbling home in the wee morning hours of November 1st in your slutty Madeline Albright costume, you saw the shopkeepers ripping down witches and vampires and putting up pictures of a fat old man who breaks into your house and tries to woo your children with toys. But there's also that other holiday in between, that one dedicated to an afternoon spent face-down on the shag carpet, woozy from tryptophan and big-bottle wine. A time when you listen to and look at your family and wonder "Who are these people??" I was thinking about this the other day and, in the immortal words of Mr. Ed: later that night, I got to thinking. I've decided we'll have a new Thanksgiving. A Gawker Thanksgiving. It's so corny! I know! But, I get sentimental this time of year.

So. How will this work? I think we'll start with the location. Naturally Laurel Touby, founder of MediaArby's, will be our "cyber hostess." (Ugh.) We'll all meet sometime around noon. Julia Allison will bring her darling dog Lilly and Jakob Lodwick will bring his darling fashion lenses. Tinsley Mortimer will arrive wearing an old, soiled Santa suit and just blink confusedly at everyone. (She'll disappear for much of the night, only to be found in the backyard, stuck in a bear trap.) Kristian Laliberte will arrive with his new boyfriend, Elijah Pollack. They'll be so in love! (Later, during dinner, Anna Wintour will lean in close, her breath reeking of gin and clamato juice, purring into your ear "Aren't they just divine together? They're like Paul Newman and Katherine Ross in Butch Cassidy. Except, you know, gay and, um, young.") John Fitzgerald Page will come crashing through the foyer in his Beemer, Eiffel 65's "Blue" blasting loudly, and shove a sweaty bucket of fried chicken into Laurel's hands. Then, just as we think all the guests have arrived, we'll hear a strange hum, a demonic orchestra tuning. As the whole house rumbles, Sean Hannity will shriek, jumping up and down and clapping his hands, "Rupey is here!" Mr. Murdoch will disembark his flaming humpback whale nuclear stagecoach and shove a sweaty Judith Regan into Laurel's feather boa.

James Lipton will utter a dinner bell clarion call from deep within his diaphragm, and all the guests will be seated at the long oak table. There will be a beautiful centerpiece fashioned out of the rawhide remains of Jocelyn Wildenstein's face. The feast will consist of many bottles of Coppola Vineyards wine, PinkBerry soufflés, and turducken. Robert Olen Butler will be the first to get drunk and hurl recriminations at people. "Elizabeth!!" he'll shout across the table at Jann Wenner, "No one poops in South America! It wasn't a sign! It was nature!!" Chris Crocker will defuse the awkward situation by stripping down to his skivvies and doing an old-style fan dance/Britney Spears hyper-sexual mash-up that erotically incorporates Janet Robinson's famous green bean casserole. ("It's the fried onions that really make it work," he'll say in a post-performance YouTube interview with himself.)

Once all are sated and sufficiently boozed up, plates will be cleared by Laurel's faithful butler, Neel Shah. Then, it's on to charades! Mandy Stadtmiller will start. She will pantomime long walks on beaches and summers spent murmuring on porch swings about the big, bright future. In mere seconds team partner Alyssa Shelasky will shriek "SuperPreppy!!" Commenter KarenUhOh, who has been quietly assessing the legal ramifications of all this, will dryly deadpan: "I thought the category was real people." Mandy will run out of the room weeping and farting, having had her hideous secret revealed. Graydon Carter will be next. He will act out a strange series of lilts and affectations, and Lizzie Grubman will yell with delight "Spike! Spike! It's your little fey creature of a son!" A few more rounds will come and go, and of course it will end in a tie and all will be smugly satisfied with their own accomplishments.

The rest of the evening will be devoted to that most revered and corny of Thanksgiving traditions, the actual giving of thanks. The list of thanks will be long and varied. Selected highlights will be:

Tionna Tee Smalls: The film Ishtar
NewToJezebel: Jewish people.
Jeffrey Epstein: Those High School Musical: The Ice Tour tickets he managed to score.
Christopher Hitchens: Religion and Bic razors.
Atoosa Rubenstein: The well-meaning gypsies who style her and, in a bold extension of an olive branch, the Omega Kitties.
Senator Larry Craig: Feet, and a willful spirit.
Josh Schwartz and the rest of the Gossip Girl team: Blacks and Asians.

And, finally, the yoga stick of thanks will be passed to yours truly. And your friend LolCait will say this:

"I find the word 'thanks' inadequate, or even inappropriate. 'Thanks' implies expectation, a resigned 'Phew! Of course these good things were coming after all.' So I'm not thankful, I'm grateful. Things of late seem pretty awful and, truth is, I've Done Nothing During The War, and yet some good things keep coming to me. Six months into my participation in this bizarre social experiment, it is quite baffling to have found both silly entertainment and keen insight on this most cold and unfeeling internet. So I am grateful for a strange new home, for precarious new friendships."

All will be quiet for a moment, and then I will fall down, completely drunk. I will be scooped up by the ever-friendly Josh Ferris (swoon!) and taken from the room.

The night will end as nights do, with sloppy hugs and prolonged, slurred goodbyes. Dear James Kurisunkal will be passed out in the broom closet, spooning a snoring Spencer Pratt, who will still be in his 'Vincent from the Beauty and the Beast television series' Halloween costume. (Or is it a costume??) Ira Glass will dejectedly try to coax Merry Miller into his cab. The Gawker editors will wander off into the night, a bottle of champagne shared between them (with a pour to the sidewalk, remembering Balks, Shafrirs, Spiers, Oxfelds, and others long gone.) Nick Denton will open his umbrella and float whimsically away into the purple night sky. And I will ramble off, thinking of puns and light bulb jokes for the next week. But, before I turn the corner, I will feel a tap on my shoulder. "Don't be alarmed," a voice will say. "It's only me, Douglas." I'll messily grin at him, this most famous of Queens landlords, and say "Oh Douglas. I'm not alarmed. I'm just grateful... Just wonderfully, queasily grateful."

Douglas will shrug his shoulders and walk away, headed off to yuk it up with Michelle and Emily, happy to have been included at all.

"Who are all those strange people?" Patrick Moberg will ask as he stands on the stoop and watches this all unfold. "I don't know," his new wife Camille will respond, robotically petting his arm.

"I've only just met them."

No one is more responsible for the prestige of the Sunday slot than perennial political talk powerhouse and Saturday Night Live muse John McLaughlin and his "McLaughlin Group." After 25 years in the game, he is pretty much the founding father of network political pontification. The thing is, McLaughlin is like one of those college professors who's all serious and respected and schedules their classes first thing in the morning. He and his distinguished panel are up every Sunday at the crack of dawn, in their suits, and off the air by noon. Is this because they are consummate professionals? No. It's because they are very, very, very old, and along with eating dinner at three in the afternoon and being incontinent, early rising is what old people do.

I spent the weekend alternately nursing and nurturing a massive hangover, so I missed out on McLaughlin and his geriatric gang of early rising intellectuals. I was left with the rest of the Sunday talk show crop, "Hannity's America," and Tim Russert's "Meet The Press."

Predictably, both shows spent a ton of time analyzing the recent verdict in the Scooter Libby trial, which Russert quietly noted was "A trial which, I was involved in, regrettably."

Russert is an amiable, awkward, buffoon whose huge head and asymmetrical moon face make him look like a Picasso rendition of Family Guy's Peter Griffin. His "Meet The Press" is the follow-up to McLaughlin where he struggles to seem like he's asking tough questions to an impressive roster of policy makers and media luminaries. In this episode, he asked U.S. ambassador to Iraq, Zalmay Khalizad, to "strip away the diplomatic speak" and did not blink when when Khalizad responded by continually characterizing the Persian Gulf as a "neighborhood."

This week Ted Koppel was on Russert's panel pimping his new special "Our Children's Children's War" and I couldn't help but notice how unimpressive his current credentials (Managing Editor, Discovery Channel) seemed to be. How the hell did this guy go from "Nightline" to sharing prime time with "Croc Hunter" reruns? I guess I must have missed his Dan Rather moment.

The "Meet The Press" panel described Bush's recent diplomatic engagement with Syria and Iran as a major change in policy in response to Americans losing patience for the war in Iraq. The discussion allowed Koppel to outline the main idea of his current project which is, that the War On Terror is a conflict that has been going on for 24 years, is happening around the world and in places we didnt even know about, and isn't likely to end any time soon. Damn. Now we see why Koppel has fallen so far off the radar. The dude's a real downer.

You don't turn to Tim Russert and "Meet The Press" for a good time. As much fun as it is to watch Russert's facial expressions as the gears grind in his head each week, "Meet The Press" is largely a solemn affair, an appropriately stodgy follow-up to "The McLaughlin Group." If you want more fast-paced Sunday talk fare you have to wait for the evening to spend some time in the special place on Fox News called "Hannity's America."

Sean Hannity's America is a nation that rocks. You know this because he always begins the show with an intensely patriotic country song. On "Hannity's America" this week, that was followed with Sean's analysis of something far more pressing than "Meet The Press'" depressing War On Terror coverage, truly hateful media whore and frequent Hannity guest Ann Coulter is out being truly hateful yet again.

Hannity predictably feels his fellow talking head is being unfairly criticized. He alleges that the "liberal media" ignores controversial comments made by left-wingers while persecuting conservatives like he and Coulter. To prove this point he presented a top ten list of "liberal hate speech" history lessons for members of the "mainstream press."

I have always wondered how Fox gets away with touting their ratings success at the same time that the majority of their on-air talent relies on the perception that they're doing some sort of pirate radio broadcast. That point aside, Hannity's highlight reel did have some funny footage of Alec Baldwin screaming about stoning someone to death, as well as crazy with Joe Biden and Robert Byrd. Perceived left wing hypocrisy continued to be a major theme on "Hannity's America" throughout "2 on 2," Sean's blatantly partisan spin on the standard Sunday talk show roundtable, but it was a lot less interesting without the funny YouTube clips (even though it had it's moments, such as when Hannity described Roger Clinton as a "prominent democrat").

The show continued with features on child Palestinian suicide bombers and a theme park where Mexicans pay to cross a fake version of the U.S. border. At first I wondered why these segments, which were filmed in foreign countries, were on a show titled "Hannity's America," but than I realized that they kind of made me scared of minorities, and nothing is more American than that.

Hannity's unique apple-pie-and-ice-cream brand of xenophobia was further evident "Enemy Of The Week," which marked the President's visit to Latin America by contrasting Hugo Chavez's "repression" with George W. Bush's "agenda of peace and prosperity."

Hannity closed out his weekly romp through this great nation of ours with a bizarre man on the street segment where he interviewed couples in Times Square about their sex lives. In one final, attention-starved "only in America" moment, a man proposed to his girlfriend with Hannity and his cameras standing by—leaving Hannity to close the hour of war-mongering, stereotyping, and partisan politics with the absurd line: "bringing people together."