Self published books are like American Idol auditions without the judges. Sure there's some talent, but its lost among the squeaky ass tone deaf freak shows.
Well what the fuck else am I supposed to do? I've run out of literary agents. I couldn't get a single one of them to even read the manuscript. What options do I even have at this point?
Shit it can't be career suicide because I already don't have a career. And the twelve dollars that I made is going to come in really handy when I need to buy a gigantic bag of rice to FEED MYSELF now that I've lost my job.
@braak: You're fine, braak. Indie is the way to go. Wave of the future, if there is a future at all. Just the diffrence between being a fenced in cow who gets milked every night or a wild horse running the range as he damn well pleases.
I just want to know what the son's pain was. Although looking at Dad I think that the mental pains are still there and cannot be mollified by another play-fight in the jacuzzi.
I CAN OPEN GAWKER AT WORK AGAIN!!!! HOORAY!! THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS POST!!1!
Although the last week without Gawker would make for an interesting self-published psychological thriller. Will Tofu throw his computer against a wall? Where will he use his un-posted puns? Keep reading and find out!
Maybe the problem is/was with Gawker software and Internet Explorer. I've been de-Gawked at work for several days now (I'm at home today) and it has been a hellish, hellish ordeal.
Terrible article: for giving hope to horrible writers everywhere. That one girl who got a deal? She's a freak because most legit publishers won't touch self-published work with a 12 foot pole not worth the hassle of contractual rights the vanity presses routinely insist on. Miss Snark is having a thrombo.
Reminds me of the infamous (and hilarious) hoax the saga of Atlanta Nights.
A vanity press pretended that they only selected the finest books it was an honor to be chosen. A writer and his friends submitted the worst novel they could and it was accepted:
They collaborated on a deliberately low-quality work complete with obvious grammatical errors nonsensical passages and a complete lack of a coherent plot.
The distinctive flaws of Atlanta Nights include nonidentical chapters written by two different authors from the same segment of outline a missing chapter two chapters that are word-for-word identical to each other two different chapters with the same chapter number and a chapter "written" by a computer program that generated random text based on patterns found in the previous chapters .
Characters change gender and race; they die and reappear without explanation. Spelling and grammar are nonstandard and the formatting is inconsistent. The initials of characters who were named in the book spelled out the phrase "PublishAmerica is a vanity press."
The finale was also crafted to be deliberately bad; not only are all the previous events of the plot revealed to have been a dream (long condemned as a "cheat" ending) but even after this revelation the book continues for several more chapters.
"Maybe once in a lifetime there comes a book with such extraordinary characters thrilling plot twists and uncanny insight that it comes to embody its time. ATLANTA NIGHTS is a book." - Adam-Troy Castro
Yeah it is definitely creepy to think that this guy's metaphorical watery fingers are massaging me after I come home from the gym. I'm gonna start calling it the "full body bidet" to be less gross.
The majority of self-published books are SO BAD. This alone will save the publishing industry.
Hurry publishing industry! Save yourself before I accidentally order another self-published book from Amazon and when I get it wonder why it makes no sense. My willy nilly Amazon spending is on your shoulders!
The annoying thing about these self-published books is that 99% of them are either how-to's or random collections of freely available data on particular subjects that was cobbled together through Google searches. If this is the future of literature then I'm going to be very depressed.
Someone once said something about the measure of any civilization being the quality and appreciation of its art. (Something like that anyway.) We're obviously on a downward spiral if that's the case.
If I had to judge a book by its cover I'd say "Jacuzzi-A Father's Invention to Ease a Son's Pain" is considering giving me the date rape drug and fisting me after I pass out.
@LilyBartleby: There should be an outline of a heart underneath each person's name next to the time of the comment. Click it and it goes red to show that you have added that person as a friend.
01/28/09
01/28/09
Shit it can't be career suicide because I already don't have a career. And the twelve dollars that I made is going to come in really handy when I need to buy a gigantic bag of rice to FEED MYSELF now that I've lost my job.
01/28/09
01/28/09
It wasn't so long ago that REAL journalists thumbed their noses at BLOGGERS.
Tool.
01/28/09
01/28/09
Mmmhmm. And the artistic renaissance that emerged as a a result of the STREETS in SoHo.
Gee Hamilton Nolan I had no idea you're such an elitist.
01/28/09
01/28/09
Did you?
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"This book made me want to pee inside it." -- Seven-year-old child in the pool area of the Days Inn in Hicksville NY
01/28/09
"HELP. ME. Dad won't let me out." -- Ken Jacuzzi Jr.
01/28/09
Although the last week without Gawker would make for an interesting self-published psychological thriller. Will Tofu throw his computer against a wall? Where will he use his un-posted puns? Keep reading and find out!
01/28/09
Maybe the problem is/was with Gawker software and Internet Explorer. I've been de-Gawked at work for several days now (I'm at home today) and it has been a hellish, hellish ordeal.
01/28/09
Reminds me of the infamous (and hilarious) hoax the saga of Atlanta Nights.
A vanity press pretended that they only selected the finest books it was an honor to be chosen. A writer and his friends submitted the worst novel they could and it was accepted:
They collaborated on a deliberately low-quality work complete with obvious grammatical errors nonsensical passages and a complete lack of a coherent plot.
sed on patterns found in the previous chapters .
The distinctive flaws of Atlanta Nights include nonidentical chapters written by two different authors from the same segment of outline a missing chapter two chapters that are word-for-word identical to each other two different chapters with the same chapter number and a chapter "written" by a computer program that generated random text ba
Characters change gender and race; they die and reappear without explanation. Spelling and grammar are nonstandard and the formatting is inconsistent. The initials of characters who were named in the book spelled out the phrase "PublishAmerica is a vanity press."
The finale was also crafted to be deliberately bad; not only are all the previous events of the plot revealed to have been a dream (long condemned as a "cheat" ending) but even after this revelation the book continues for several more chapters.
[en.wikipedia.org]
The blurbs were also pretty funny:
[www.travistea.com]
"Maybe once in a lifetime there comes a book with such extraordinary characters thrilling plot twists and uncanny insight that it comes to embody its time. ATLANTA NIGHTS is a book." - Adam-Troy Castro
01/28/09
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01/28/09
Hurry publishing industry! Save yourself before I accidentally order another self-published book from Amazon and when I get it wonder why it makes no sense. My willy nilly Amazon spending is on your shoulders!
01/28/09
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01/28/09
[threatquality.com]
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01/28/09
Someone once said something about the measure of any civilization being the quality and appreciation of its art. (Something like that anyway.) We're obviously on a downward spiral if that's the case.
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01/28/09
I nominate you for *.
Are we allowed to do that?
01/28/09
01/28/09
Ha!
Just goes to show...you never know which oyster holds the pearl.
Reach for the sky and step in the gutter.
01/28/09
01/28/09
Thanks for following me.
I would have followed you (and others) a long time ago but I cannot figure it out.
Will Gawker please dispatch a troubleshooter.
I am located in Austin TX.
01/28/09
01/28/09
My Uncle Elmo ended up on the wrong end of a .38, so this is a far better option.