Barry Eisler, a former CIA agent turned novelist, has put forth a handy checklist that journalists can use to determine just how co-opted they have become by the very powers over which they are supposed to be serving as a watchdog. It can help any reporter decide just how far down the road to hackdom they've traveled…

Tomorrow evening, the cream of our nation’s mainstream media celebrities, political celebrities, and celebrity celebrities will put on tuxedos and evening gowns and gather in a ballroom in Washington, DC to mutually give one another handjobs, in a mostly metaphorical sense. This is because the most powerful elements…

Kids these days are sellouts. As you know. As soon as they set foot on a college campus, boom, they all want to become a "brand ambassador" for some energy drink company or casual clothing brand in order to bless the brand with the hot sexxxy "halo effect" that their young, nubile, innocent bodies offer. Sweet…

For people whose job it is to turn unsuspecting suckers into corporate-advertising zombies, there's no better sight than a bunch of fresh-faced 18 year-olds moving boxes into a dorm room, ready to take on the world. Yeah, take on the world's debt. Don't forget your college-branded credit card and whatnot, suckers…

Check out this Wormrot video. You haven't seen hardcore until you've seen Wormrot, amirite? The most hardcore part of all: they are fully owned subsidiary of the Toyota corporation.

Fashion magazines have never taken seriously the idea of a "Chinese Wall" separating advertising and editorial. That's not their thing. Their thing is fashion! Still. Much like kids these days, fashion magazines are selling out more spectacularly than ever.

Want to know what's wrong with kids these days? Good. I'll tell you. In my day, we had a concept known as "selling out." These days, there is new concept, called "selling out." Kids love it!

Faux hippy Wal-Mart and parking lot realness headquarters Whole Foods is happy to sell you 11 billion varieties of hummus, but don't get the wrong idea, wingnuts: Whole Foods is just as scared of Muslims as you! Really!

Colby Sambrotto is a founder of the website ForSaleByOwner.com, which, you know, lets people sell their own apartments. Colby Sambrotto had an apartment of his own—a two bedroom in Chelsea—to sell. Can you guess what happened next?

Demon from rock-n-roll hell and grindcore director Rob Zombie has just released his latest project: a commercial for Woolite™ brand laundry detergent. "It's not like it's scary," says Zombie. That's "cool." [NYT]

Colbert was having trouble deciding his votes for the Grammys, saying things like "The Arcade Fire? Ehh, they went on the Daily Show, f*ck em." Then he invited The Black Keys and Vampire Weekend's Ezra Koenig for a sell-out off!

Post-prison Lindsay Lohan is more popular than ever, apparently, and she's now cashing in. LiLo is reportedly entertaining all offers, including paid interviews, a New York radio show, and merely carrying products in paparazzi pictures. Sure crime doesn't pay?

Highly-amusing fashion designer Christian Siriano is Project Runway's most successful alum. He's made coin designing for Payless and Starbucks. What's the next logical step for a couturier on the rise? A line of O-Cel-O sponges, of course! Cash in, baby.

Last month M.I.A. went after Lady Gaga for selling out. In a new interview, she says "I don't want to say Jay-Z sold out, but..." Is this about her marriage to the nepotistic son of a music industry billionaire?

Sellout news! Daniel Goldstein, the last Brooklyn guy who'd refused to sell his homes to make way for the massive and inevitable Atlantic Yards project, is selling his condo to the developer for $3 million—more than five times what he paid for it just seven years ago. Also as part of the agreement, Goldstein will…

The Washington Post sent a flier to DC corporate lobbyists and other scum offering them an exclusive, schmoozy dinner with political officials and Post reporters for only $25,000. Now they're disavowing it! Come now. They were just too honest.