The most disappointing thing about Weinergate is the dick pic that Anthony Weiner may or may not have posted to Twitter. That thing was sad! But we're here to show you—er, explain—how it's done.

Looking for new ways to stymy your appetite? Try the FDA's Food Defect Action Levels Handbook, a great new diet book guide for food distributors and inspectors. It details exactly how many maggots a comestible good may contain before it gets banned for "aesthetic" reasons, i.e., "being too icky."

This is the end of National Etiquette Week. Did everyone use the right fork when they were at dinner last night? Glad to hear it. But there are still a few matters that we need to clear up.

It's January, and that means it's time for everyone to join a gym and then quickly stop going to the gym out of laziness, in a trend-story-friendly manner. What a goddamn waste of money. Below, ten methods for becoming hardcore.

The stock market is positively sizzling today, as Wall Street's optimism pushed the Dow to a two-year high. Sounds tempting, eh? Before you wade in with your wallet, consider this short list of "Do's" and "Don'ts." Consider it now!

According to a new report in The Wall Street Journal, nearly all of the most popular apps on Facebook—including Farmville, Causes, and Quiz Planet—have been sharing users' information with advertising and tracking companies. Here's how to stop them.

Douglas Britt (pictured) is the "Society/ visual arts writer" at the Houston Chronicle. And he's extremely busy! So he sent out the following 15-point email to "every gallerist/cultural group in Houston," our tipster says. Print out a copy, and memorize!

Hey, look, a website that crowdsources information on the price of weed in various world cities, then calculates averages and charts it on a Google map. File under: Synergy, Inevitabilities, Reasons To Move To The Pacific Northwest. [PriceofWeed.com]

Are you an aspiring journalist desperately seeking employment to validate your perilous career choice? Good news: Newsday is hiring 34 reporters. Real jobs for real journalists! Working on Long Island is a small price to pay. [Romenesko]

The NYT today offers some tips on how to make your vacation video just as exciting as the trip itself. Okay, yes, that's one approach. Or, a better option: never make a vacation video.

A girl who posted pics of her "epic boobs" and inadvertently became an Internet meme lost a lawsuit against the outlet that made her a star. It raises the question: If you become an internet meme, what should you do?

Using wizardry — GPS analysis of six months' cab trips—some clever people have plotted exactly where the best place to get a cab is at any time. Clue: it's not likely to be Penn Station at 9am. [NYT]

An intrepid reader writes, "How do you decide which is the better term 'apeshit' or 'batshit'? It must be a tough call." With all the different types of shit out there, choosing the correct shit can be a mess.

Last time a cash-strapped college girl auctioned her virginity, bidding reached $3.8 million. This week, cyberchick "Unigirl" accepted a paltry $30,000 for hers. Welcome to ECON202: Comparative Studies in the Pricing of Hymen.

If you want to pay attention to the Massachusetts special election results on the internet tonight, here is the Massachusetts Secretary of State's website, and Marc Ambinder's "cheat sheet" of what to look for. More assorted links below.

After yesterday's curse-strewn rant against the music industry, Chris Brown said "GOODBYE!!!!!!!!!!!!" to Twitter. But will it stick? A guide to the art of the celebrity qwitter.