When Henry Kissinger won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1973, off the back of wars in Vietnam and Cambodia, Tom Lehrer called it the "moment that satire died." Someone please revive it, because we need to kill it again. Conservatives are upset about a two-year-old Sesame Street skit in which a news organisation called Pox News is lampooned (slightly - this is fucking Sesame Street) and referred to as trashy.

Posters on Big Hollywood, a blog from Breitbart, were outraged. "PBS - a network partially funded with my tax dollars - has the right to tell my kids that their parents watch "trashy" news?" said someone called Stage Right, according to the Daily News. "The message is clear, I can't even sit my kids in front of Sesame Street without having to worry about the Left attempting to undermine my authority." Yes. Crystal clear. You've really read those tea leaves, Nostradamus.

Talking of people who can see which way the wind is blowing - in Russia as well as Alaska - Sarah Palin is back and giving speeches. In which she apparently uses the words awesome and bogus hundreds of times. Maybe she watched Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure before going on stage. Anyway, her addition to this week's conspiracies features the decision to move 'In God We Trust' from the center of coins to the edge. "Who calls a shot like that?" she asked audience members, rhetorically one would assume unless she was addressing the US Mint. "Who makes a decision like that?" She added: "It's a disturbing trend." Finally, a financial crisis she's qualified to comment on.

dear big bird,
how tall are you and i have been wondering are you gay, and what size shoe do you wear?
- keisha&ashley

Not to mention the obvious,

What do you like better: Ballet or Hip Hop and why?
- Rose Sue

And of course,

Ask Bird congratulations for your program!

How's your best friend?

Thanks!
- Francisco

Those of you with iPhones can now track swine flu outbreaks with a new application, ingeniously entitled "Outbreaks Near Me." But, wait! There's more: there are flu-related games. Because when you're in an outbreak of the dreaded H1N1, you'll need a distraction.

Of course, not everyone has iPhones. So, for those of you poor schmucks who don't, King County, in Seattle, has been distributing a new comic book to inform readers of flu epidemics past and present. It's filled with useful tips, like how to cover your mouth when you sneeze and information on the delicate process of washing one's hands. Thanks, Seattle!

Meanwhile, for the rug rats, the government has teamed with Sesame Street to get the word out on all the contagious craziness. Of the partnership, Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius says:

We are thrilled to partner with Elmo, Gordon, and Sesame Workshop again to emphasize the steps kids and their parents can take to stay happy and healthy this school year.

Watch for Big Bird and the rest of the gang to tackle bed bugs next.

This wouldn't be America if some enterprising company weren't trying to capitalize on swine flu, which explains why Delaware-based GIANTmicrobes has come out with a stuffed toy that's meant to look like the infectious disease. God bless.

Notes our intrepid reporter:

It was on Bedford between North 4th and North 5th. The Muppet kept asking the little girl about different words, which was ridiculously cute and classically "Sesame." The Williamsburg weekend crowd - mostly outer-borough tourists - stood and watched as they took over one of the busiest pedestrian blocks in Brooklyn, without issue. Except for one older guy who walked practically right behind the shot, and screamed something along the lines of "goddamn filming!" at the little girl and the Muppet/Muppet handler. The Muppet turned to the man, raised his hand, and told him to "Have a nice day too, sir!" Everyone laughed. The skit ended with the little girl hugging the Muppet [pictured], eliciting a series of "aww" from the crowd, and applause thereafter. They then put the Muppet in a bag (somewhat traumatizing) and started shooting the girl talking into the camera.

Rumors that the segment was a preemptive lesson on the consequences of sexual subversion, theft, and deception remain unsubstantiated. Our extensive research has shown that the Muppet in question is, in fact, Murray Monster, who is noted to be "endlessly inquisitive." No word on why they chose Williamsburg (as we all know Fort Greene is the most Sesame Street-esque of Brooklyn neighborhoods in regards to friendliness and diversity), or what's in Murray Monster's personal rider, but we do know this: there are far worse things that could happen to Williamsburg besides a Muppet invasion, which, at this point, would spice up the neighborhood's culture quotient exponentially. Muppet Hugging evidence below:

The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser.

Related: 10 Awesome Moments From Sesame Street [Jezebel]

But while SpongeBob and Dora may rank higher, has any other show done so much for kids than Sesame Street? According to Guernsey, "Independent research found that children who regularly watch Sesame Street gained more than nonviewers on tests of letter and number recognition, vocabulary and early math skills. One study, in 2001, revealed that the show's positive effects on reading and achievement lasted through high school."

Plus, unlike some other offerings in 1969, the show tapped into the social activism of the era. "From the start," writes Guernsey, "Sesame targeted lower-income, urban kids-the ones who lived on streets with garbage cans sitting in front of their rowhouse apartments." And there were other moments — like when Snuffleupagus taught us how to communicate with the deaf — which showed that the program attempted to include to all kinds of people.

Singing, cultural diversity and huggable puppets: What's not to love? (How many of these albums did you have?) Next: Some favorite moments from Sesame Street!

"Me And My Llama." It's probably best not to wonder why a little girl is walking a llama through the streets of Manhattan and instead think of this as a way to teach kids that the dentist isn't scary. Question: Does that llama also see an orthodontist?

"Ladybug Picnic" It's not just a counting song: It mentions knock-knock jokes! And when they roast marshmallows, it seems like the most fun thing in the world.

"School Pageant: Flower" Prairie Dawn plays piano in this hilariously crappy school play, where monsters are bad actors who forget their lines.

"Pinball 12" The voices you hear are the Pointer Sisters. Enough said.

"Ernie Can't Sleep" Since Ernie has insomnia, he clearly has to keep Bert awake as well.

"I Love Trash" Did you know that Oscar used to be ORANGE?

"Somebody Come And Play" Mommy! We have to hurry and visit the zoo! All the animals are so sad and lonely without us!!!

"C Is for Cookie" A classic. Simple and to the point.

"Near And Far" Grover — voiced by Frank Oz, who later played a cop in the Eddie Murphy/Dan Akroyd flick Trading Places, explains "near" and "far" here, but was also amazing in his segments with John-John.

"Fairy Alphabet" Some really gorgeous illustration/animation; super '70s tune!

Other awesome moments: The Alligator King; the Typewriter Guy; Rubber Ducky; It's Not Easy Being Green and the Yip Yip Aliens… What have I missed? [Ed note: This. ]


‘Sesame Street' [Newsweek]

Sorry, we meant "the Queen." It was more fun than meeting "the Queen." She didn't explicitly say this, of course. Michelle said, of taping a Sesame Street segment: "I think it's probably the best thing I've done so far in the White House. " So Britain's Daily Mail reminds its readers that this woman met Her Majesty!

Dear Britain: your dumb Queen did not raise three generations of American children! Elizabeth had nothing to do with teaching American children the joy of puns, parody, and creaky vaudeville humor! (And the alphabet maybe? There was some alphabet stuff involved.)

Who the hell wouldn't be more excited for Big Bird than Queen Elizabeth? No one we'd want as first lady.

In conclusion:

Photo: (c) 2009 Sesame Workshop. All Rights Reserved. Photo Credit: Richard Termine

More fuckery at Viacom? Not hard to believe! We've heard two new Viacom rumors today: First, we hear that another round of staff layoffs at Viacom is happening this week [Email us if you know more]. Second, a tipster tells us that MTV has created a fun new way to stick it to vendors:

MTV Networks is currently withholding millions of dollars from vendors after a debacle with "InvoiceWorks," their new method for third party vendors to invoice. It's a giant mess. They've changed their standard net payment from 30 days to 60 days without giving notice to vendors. All sorts of companies are owed money by MTV. Edit facilities, production companies, on-air talent, office supply companies, caterers, you name it.

Portfolio.com finance blogger Felix Salmon, a recession winner, is leaving the leaky Conde Nast ship for a new gig as some sort of opinion blogger for Reuters. Anybody who can get a job these days must know something about something!


Jay Carney, former Time Washington guy-turned Joe Biden flack, claims in a new interview that he wasn't "swept up in Obamamania." YEA RIGHT CARNEY. Just admit it. Other than that the interview is total fluff.


Success: Kid goes to school, gets a degree in journalism, and finds a job in the journalism field! He's delivering newspapers. Cannot believe we left 'paperboy' off our list.

Heartbreaking rumor of the day: a tipster tells us that Sesame Workshop, "the nonprofit organization behind Sesame Street and so much more," is laying off a fifth of its workforce, something like five dozen people. Among the departed are Grover and the "Big" in "Bird." [Not really. Email us with details or denials on this.]
UPDATE: My mistake, this wasn't a "rumor" after all: "The company said Wednesday that it's eliminating 67 of 355 staff positions."

And the Department of Homeland Security represents the biggest expansion of government since the New Deal!

“We all want our children to feel safe in this world,” said Meryl Chertoff, wife of Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff, at a ceremony held at the John Tyler Elementary School to announce the partnership. "And who better to do that than our Sesame Street friends, Grover and Rosita!”

I don't know this "Rosita" but I am pretty sure she is made in China.

[via Videogum]

1. The Progress Poster: By the artist who brought you "OBEY" comes "PROGRESS."
Part of: The eternal meme that is Obey Giant, a graffiti joke turned art that started with stickers of Andre the Giant appearing in Charleston in 1986.
Stance: Pro.
See Also: The Pope version. And the Mavis Beacon version.

2. Barack Obama is Your New Bicycle: A series of one-liners about how much Obama likes you, the reader.
Part of: The "single serving site" meme.
Stance: Whimsically Pro.
See Also: Hillary Is Mom Jeans

3. Barack, Bert and Ernie: Ernie convinces Bert to vote for Obama.
Part of: Sesame Street fanfic.
Stance: Pro.
See Also: The Count explains race relations (a promising title poorly executed).

4. Barack OBollywood: A floating Barack head dances to Punjabi music.
Part of: Internet's obsession with modern Indian culture, stretching back to the classic music video "Tunak Tunak."
Stance: WTF
See Also: Some ad implying that Obama smokes dope a lot.

5. The Empire Strikes Barack: Obama as the hero of Star Wars.
Part of: The most lucrative franchise to ever spawn a million memes, jokes and mashups.
Stance: Pro.
See Also: Baracky: Obama as Rocky.

6. Obamacrombie: T-shirts mocking the guys dressed in Abercrombie and Fitch sitting behind Obama in a televised speech.
Part of: Every joke is worth putting on your chest.
Stance: Meh.
See Also: "Who killed Obama?" sweatshirt.

7. White People Like Obama: A chapter, maybe, of an upcoming blog book.
Part of: The book version of "Stuff White People Like."
Stance: Heh.
See Also: "Barack Obama Is Your New Bicycle" also got a book deal.

8. Vote Different: Hillary as Big Brother.
Part of: Everything indie is like Apple.
Stance: Pro.
See Also: Hillary's a PC, Obama's a Mac — really.

9. Obama Girl: Oh, you know. Some girl went nuts for Obama and made the new "Dick in a Box."
Stance: Pro and sexy enough for YouTube.
Part of: Barely Political, a web show about being pro-Obama and sexy enough for YouTube.
See Also: McCain Girls: Raining McCain.

10. Under Barack Obama: A MADtv parody of "Umbrella."
Part of: A year of "Umbrella" parodies.
Stance: Pro-interracial-banging.
Actually Don't See Also: Obama and Hillary caught kissing.

11. Yes We Can: will.i.am's spoken-word song based on an Obama speech.
Part of: Songs for Obama; will.i.am's followup was "We Are The Ones."
Stance: Pro and embarrassingly earnest.
Part of: Celebrities love Obama.
See Also: John McCain: john.he.is

12. Muppets for President: What do you expect?
Part of: The Muppets, second only to Star Wars in mashup eminence.
Stance: Silly
See Also: Nothing else. Ever. Except maybe Dramatic Chipmunk and Pretty much everywhere, it's gonna be hot.

I had to say lines like, 'I am the greatest fairy in all the land!'"

Concerned with the level of snickering that lines like this might induce, NPH was able to convince the showrunners to change his character's title from Shoe Fairy to Fairy Shoeperson. Phew. Still, we are forced to ask why NPH was cast as a character and not as himself. After all, Anderson Cooper was able to pop out of a garbage can in his CNN garb and interview muppets named Walter Cranky, while Melissa Etheridge simply stood around and crowed the All-Star Alphabet when she came on the show. Here's hoping that NPH's work as a tweaked out unicorn rider in Harold and Kumar 2 finally establishes him as a star worthy of an "As Himself" credit the next time he appears on Sesame Street.

• Late Night With Conan O'Brien [NBC.com]