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New York, 6:01 AM
Mon Nov 30
13 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #sexcrimes more →

    Hey, What's Jeffrey Epstein's Penis Shaped Like, Anyway?

    Repubs Vindicated: Multiculturalism Saves Sex Perv

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of TheBusinessGuy TheBusinessGuy
    09/18/09

    In reply to Hey, What's Jeffrey Epstein's Penis Shaped Like, Anyway?
    Part of the worst Denny's Grand Slam ever.
     Reply
    TheBusinessGuy was starred TheBusinessGuy was unstarred
    Image of homoviper homoviper
    09/17/09

    In reply to Hey, What's Jeffrey Epstein's Penis Shaped Like, Anyway?

    I prefer to think of those dicks as yam dicks.
     Reply
    homoviper was starred homoviper was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    09/17/09

    In reply to Hey, What's Jeffrey Epstein's Penis Shaped Like, Anyway?
    Am I the only one whose thought throughout this was "You schmuck, you couldn't put on a suit and a necktie?"
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of NigelAstydameia NigelAstydameia
    09/17/09

    In reply to Hey, What's Jeffrey Epstein's Penis Shaped Like, Anyway?
    "Yeah--ostrich egg, bitch!"
     Reply
    Edited by NigelAstydameia at 09/17/09 9:08 PM NigelAstydameia was starred NigelAstydameia was unstarred
    Image of raincoaster raincoaster
    09/17/09

    In reply to Hey, What's Jeffrey Epstein's Penis Shaped Like, Anyway?
    How, exactly, does the lawyer know?
     Reply
    raincoaster was starred raincoaster was unstarred
    Image of ShanghaiLil ShanghaiLil
    09/17/09

    @raincoaster: Because it's in the "probable cause statement" -- basically one of the assaultees or a witness to the assaults described Jeffrey Epstein's egg-shaped penis to police.
     Reply
    ShanghaiLil was starred ShanghaiLil was unstarred
    Image of BettyCrocker BettyCrocker
    09/17/09

    In reply to Hey, What's Jeffrey Epstein's Penis Shaped Like, Anyway?
    The Sweetest Thing!

    "Your penis is so egg-shaped!
    Your penis gets me wet
    But I did not want to get raped
    By your personal omelette!"
     Reply
    BettyCrocker was starred BettyCrocker was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    09/17/09

    @BettyCrocker: heh
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of iplaudius iplaudius
    09/17/09

    In reply to Hey, What's Jeffrey Epstein's Penis Shaped Like, Anyway?
    I call those fish dicks, because they’re kind of shaped like a big, fat fish.
     Reply
    iplaudius was starred iplaudius was unstarred
    Image of If_I_Had_a_Poodle If_I_Had_a_Poodle
    09/18/09

    @iplaudius: there are more out there?
     Reply
    If_I_Had_a_Poodle was starred If_I_Had_a_Poodle was unstarred
    Image of ShanghaiLil ShanghaiLil
    09/17/09

    In reply to Hey, What's Jeffrey Epstein's Penis Shaped Like, Anyway?
    "Thick toward the bottom and thin and small toward the head portion" may in fact be the greatest tag ever used on the internets thus far.
     Reply
    ShanghaiLil was starred ShanghaiLil was unstarred
    Image of LeftCoastLady LeftCoastLady
    09/17/09

    In reply to Hey, What's Jeffrey Epstein's Penis Shaped Like, Anyway?
    This is what happens when you keep fucking that chicken.
     Reply
    son of spam promoted this comment LeftCoastLady was starred LeftCoastLady was unstarred
    Image of Sonar Jose Sonar Jose
    09/17/09

    In reply to Hey, What's Jeffrey Epstein's Penis Shaped Like, Anyway?
    And thus, the "Jeffrey Eggstein" tag was born.
     Reply
    MrInBetween promoted this comment Sonar Jose was starred Sonar Jose was unstarred
    Image of wretched_of_the_mirth wretched_of_the_mirth
    09/17/09

    In reply to Hey, What's Jeffrey Epstein's Penis Shaped Like, Anyway?
    how, then, can we tell his penis from his balls?
     Reply
    skymotel promoted this comment wretched_of_the_mirth was starred wretched_of_the_mirth was unstarred
    Image of MrInBetween MrInBetween
    09/17/09

    In reply to Hey, What's Jeffrey Epstein's Penis Shaped Like, Anyway?
    Dammit, Epstein walked out before the lawyer's next question: "And is your penis also shaped like Glenn Beck's tongue?'
     Reply
    MrInBetween was starred MrInBetween was unstarred
    Image of Uncle_Billy_Slumming Uncle_Billy_Slumming
    09/17/09

    @MrInBetween:

    "Is Glen Beck shaped like your penis?"

    They had a very good description of the offending appendage on the Smoking Gun website a few months ago.

    And strangely enough there was a description of every shape of penis but this one in Bookish's magnum opus here:

    [wordsmoker.com]
     Reply
    Uncle_Billy_Slumming was starred Uncle_Billy_Slumming was unstarred
    Image of ShanghaiLil ShanghaiLil
    09/17/09

    @Uncle_Billy_Slumming: Bookish, have I told you lately that I love you?
     Reply
    ShanghaiLil was starred ShanghaiLil was unstarred
    Image of If_I_Had_a_Poodle If_I_Had_a_Poodle
    09/18/09

    @Uncle_Billy_Slumming: bookish did not sleep with that man. jeeeeeesus.
     Reply
    If_I_Had_a_Poodle was starred If_I_Had_a_Poodle was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    09/05/09

    In reply to Repubs Vindicated: Multiculturalism Saves Sex Perv
    So, um, "assault" = "cuddle"? WTF?
     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of God God
    09/04/09

    In reply to Repubs Vindicated: Multiculturalism Saves Sex Perv
    See? This is why women should not go to college. Also, I am pleased to note how well Georgetown University is fulfilling its capitalist obligations and cutting costs by having really shitty security at women's dorms. Now thanks to some chicks getting assaulted in their beds repeatedly, we have resisted socialized safety once again. We have successfully defeated our communist adversaries who hate our free markets and our Freedom.

    Now girls, if you really must forget your place and try to be like men, at least come up with a hilarious nickname for your rapist. No need to lose your sense of humor over an assault, eh? For instance, while 'Georgetown Cuddler' is good enough, for such ambiguously hued suspects, I recommend 'Georgetown George Hamilton'.
     Reply
    God was starred God was unstarred
    Image of The Captain Was Here The Captain Was Here
    09/04/09

    @God: Strangely for a Catholic University, All Georgetown dorms are Co-Ed. There are a couple of Single-Sex Floors, but mainly they are Co-Ed Floors. Security is actually pretty good, at least when I was there, except that as long as you had a Georgetown ID, you get into any of the dorms.

    Individual security, on the other hand, was pretty lax....lot of people hardly locked their doors, espcially in apartments and townhouses off campus, as despite the city, the neighborhood was well-off and reasonably safe.
     Reply
    MissNormaDesmond promoted this comment The Captain Was Here was starred The Captain Was Here was unstarred
    Image of Rhymenocerous Rhymenocerous
    09/04/09

    In reply to Repubs Vindicated: Multiculturalism Saves Sex Perv
    I think the real problem is how easy it apparently is to break in to Georgetown dorms.
     Reply
    Rhymenocerous was starred Rhymenocerous was unstarred
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