This Russian billboard shows four tires and a condom, and reads, "A complete set of the road rubber." It is presumably meant to advertise tires. Do you get it? I don't get it. [Copyranter; Pic via. Click to enlarge]

After a harrowing touch-and-go period of silence marked by much prayer and stress ball-handling amongst the populace, the Hot Sexxxy Lesbian Teacher story has risen again! The new angle has nothing to do with lesbian teachers. But still, they're back!

Christmas seems to be the sexxxiest time of year! News-wise. It's because reporters—and readers—are even lazier than usual right now. Neither writing nor reacting to sex stories takes much effort at all. Observe:

If you're an American, Burger King offers you The Subservient Chicken: Some dude in a chicken outfit who does what you say. If you're British, BK offers you The Subservient Shower Girl. Her turn-ons: Voyeurs, and guys with Whopper bellies.

An ad for a body waxing business shows a hairless beaver. There's also a hairless kitty and a hairless cock. When did we stop trying? [Copyranter, who would also like to show you Mona Lisa's tits.]

Florida Governor Charlie Christs: having parents of uninsured children call sex hotlines. Montana Senators: nominated mistresses to be U.S. Attorneys. Republicans running for the New Jersey's state legislature: campaigning for The Dildo Party. Today's politics are for dicks and pussies.

Catholic lady Joanna Krupa's pose in this new PETA ad (click to enlarge) has the Catholic League's Crazy Bill Donohue upset, but you know who looks like they really like it? The dogs, and that's the point. [Adfreak]

Rowland apparently started something called Project Migration this past summer. The organization sells products "made by single mothers in Africa;" proceeds ostensibly help improve their water supply and health care. And, what do you know, this effort just happens to require a professional photo shoot starring one …

American Apparel ads raise unimportant questions: Can they get banned in the UK again, on purpose? Are buttocks economically superior to cocksuckers? And why are these fishnetty things everywhere now? Don't neglect your local sex shop. [Copyranter. Click to enlarge]

Will David Letterman ever live down the shame of being the first American to sleep with someone at work? Let's hope not! Sexxxy Letterman revelations this morning: Another fling, pictured! Dave's alleged Halderman hate rage! And, what will happen tonight?!?

The little white letters in this photo are advertising the 28th Biennale of Graphic Art, in Slovenia. So uh, what's that shape in the background, then? NSFW, is what it is, so do not click through to find out.

Ho hum, the UK Advertising Standards Authority has banned an American Apparel ad that ran in Vice magazine for being too much like child porn. Can you imagine anything more cliché?

ESPN's Erin Andrews is on the road to recovery after being taped in the nude by a sicko perv, and then victimized again by the faux-outraged tabloids. But her upcoming return to television proves ESPN is run by sexxx pervs:

Bernie Madoff had an affair, allegedly! With one of his victims! Who now hates him! And is writing a book!

Disappointingly for sex-on-Youtube purists, the fake banned Sprite blow job ad that shook the world to its very (sexy) core yesterday is not the first time that exploding carbonation has been used as a male orgasm metaphor.

The New York Post is shocked and outraged—not to mention disgusted—that some sicko perv secretly took a nude video of hot, sexy blond ESPN anchor Erin Andrews and posted it online. The Post is flabbergasted. And dismayed.

Look, it is a scandalously explicit blowjob-oriented advertisement for the Sprite beverage! But wait, Twitterererers: this is a spec ad. What's a spec ad? A sexy one.