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New York, 5:02 PM
Sun Nov 15
12 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #sexwars more →

    Get Married, Do Chores, Get Laid Rarely

    Arthur Kade Just About Ready to Bend Over

    Ali Wise Charged with Being Craziest Ex Ever

    Commenters So Mad They Could Just Roofie Advice Columnist

    Nan Robertson, New York Times Woman of Distinction

    Scandalous Evidence Mounts: Letterman Had Human Emotions, Relationships

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    Why Is Wikipedia a Boys Club? Men Are Dumb
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Clarissima Clarissima
    10/21/09

    In reply to Get Married, Do Chores, Get Laid Rarely
    A witty, neat husband who breezes through chores is mad hot. Guys like that–have it way more than once per week. #sex
     Reply
    Clarissima was starred Clarissima was unstarred
    Image of CrabbyGolightly CrabbyGolightly
    11/02/09

    @Clarissima: Wow. Do you have any more of these? A guy who makes you laugh, cleans, brings home the jack AND performs well in bed? I'd think he'd be too tired. (Or maybe we just all have to share that same guy.)

    We've come a long way, baby. Now women are able to have just as many unrealistic expectations as the boys. Progress! Sigh.

    Sign me, 'Waiting for the great leap forward.' #sex
     Reply
    Clarissima promoted this comment CrabbyGolightly was starred CrabbyGolightly was unstarred
    Image of Clarissima Clarissima
    11/05/09

    @CrabbyGolightly: Get it on with a neat freak, problem solved. He won't make you laugh while he cleans, he'll just look great doing it. It's like that cost-analysis triangle, where you can have two of the three (fast, good, cheap). #sex
     Reply
    Clarissima was starred Clarissima was unstarred
    Image of CrabbyGolightly CrabbyGolightly
    11/05/09

    @Clarissima: That's where I went wrong! My husband is a total slob! Consequently there are fewer laughs than there should be. Damn him. #sex
     Reply
    CrabbyGolightly was starred CrabbyGolightly was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    10/21/09

    In reply to Get Married, Do Chores, Get Laid Rarely
    "The maid will get that." --BL

    Works on the house, works on the husband. Try it, girls. #sex
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of BettyCrocker BettyCrocker
    10/21/09

    In reply to Get Married, Do Chores, Get Laid Rarely
    I've discovered several things during the course of My Gay Romance:
    1) Manly gay men are identical to their straight brethren in their capacity to turn your carefully decorated, orderly, and clean home into a replica of WWII Dresden.
    2) Changing the sheets twice a week leads to more sexxxytimes. I don't know why this is. Tide may contain aphrodisiacs. Perhaps it's turf-marking behavior. All I know is, it's worth the extra laundry.
    3) Manly gay men will do any household chore you ask, with a minimum of bitching. But you always have to ask. Never will they see a full garbage can or clean dishes in the dishwasher and find themselves in the neon glow of genius required to remedy either situation.
    4) If you let your manly gay man spend a Saturday drinking beer, watching a ball game, and farting into the sofa, he will be much more inclined to initiate sexxxytimes. You, on the other hand, will be proportionately disinclined. #sex
     Reply
    BettyCrocker was starred BettyCrocker was unstarred
    Image of bytememehard bytememehard
    10/21/09

    @BettyCrocker: In my experience, I find everything you say to be true, as well, when applied to manly straight men who just happen to like it up the ass. #sex
     Reply
    bytememehard was starred bytememehard was unstarred
    Image of BettyCrocker BettyCrocker
    10/21/09

    @bytememehard: Does anyone not like it up the ass? #sex
     Reply
    BettyCrocker was starred BettyCrocker was unstarred
    Image of Rumpelstilskin Rumpelstilskin
    10/21/09

    @BettyCrocker: Do chores while you whistle and they become fun. Or blow jobs. #sex
     Reply
    Rumpelstilskin was starred Rumpelstilskin was unstarred
    Image of bytememehard bytememehard
    10/21/09

    @BettyCrocker: Me, actually. But funny how many "straight" men do. #sex
     Reply
    bytememehard was starred bytememehard was unstarred
    Image of BettyCrocker BettyCrocker
    10/21/09

    @Rumpelstilskin: Heigh Ho, Hiegh Ho, I fold laundry and blow! #sex
     Reply
    BettyCrocker was starred BettyCrocker was unstarred
    Image of BettyCrocker BettyCrocker
    10/21/09

    In reply to Get Married, Do Chores, Get Laid Rarely
    <
     Reply
    Edited by BettyCrocker at 10/21/09 2:09 PM BettyCrocker was starred BettyCrocker was unstarred
    Image of OldTowneTavern OldTowneTavern
    10/21/09

    In reply to Get Married, Do Chores, Get Laid Rarely
    "All that housework just to get laid once a week!" Once a week is 52 times a year. Why throw away 30 days of well earned sex? #sex
     Reply
    OldTowneTavern was starred OldTowneTavern was unstarred
    Image of If_I_Had_a_Poodle If_I_Had_a_Poodle
    10/21/09

    In reply to Get Married, Do Chores, Get Laid Rarely
    averages as usual mean nothing. 10 times last week, + 2 weeks of no times are different from an average of 3x/week #sex
     Reply
    If_I_Had_a_Poodle was starred If_I_Had_a_Poodle was unstarred
    Image of Cagliostro Cagliostro
    10/21/09

    In reply to Get Married, Do Chores, Get Laid Rarely
    "Oh and also scientists proved that Viagra works. So."

    I wouldn't know - the last thing my wife wants to deal with after her 42 hours of housework is a 4-hour boner. #sex
     Reply
    ms_priestypants promoted this comment Cagliostro was starred Cagliostro was unstarred
    Image of Rumpelstilskin Rumpelstilskin
    10/21/09

    In reply to Get Married, Do Chores, Get Laid Rarely
    I want to write something about making bacon as opposed to bringing home the bacon and frying it up in the Christian-Dior-for-Revereware pan she is adoring, but I've run out of energy. #sex
     Reply
    Rumpelstilskin was starred Rumpelstilskin was unstarred
    Image of Spirit Fingers Spirit Fingers
    10/21/09

    @Rumpelstilskin: I'll just add that in most cases bacon could replace sex entirely. #sex
     Reply
    Spirit Fingers was starred Spirit Fingers was unstarred
    Image of Meiyou Wenti Meiyou Wenti
    10/21/09

    @Spirit Fingers: I don't know, I think George Costanza was on to something when he was on his quest for sex, and food, simultaneously. #sex
     Reply
    Spirit Fingers promoted this comment Meiyou Wenti was starred Meiyou Wenti was unstarred
    Image of momof3wildkids momof3wildkids
    10/21/09

    @Spirit Fingers: Only if the bacon was topped with cheese. #sex
     Reply
    Spirit Fingers promoted this comment momof3wildkids was starred momof3wildkids was unstarred
    Image of Spirit Fingers Spirit Fingers
    10/21/09

    @momof3wildkids: and possibly with a burger underneath and a soft bun on top. #sex
     Reply
    Spirit Fingers was starred Spirit Fingers was unstarred
    Image of momof3wildkids momof3wildkids
    10/21/09

    @Spirit Fingers: As long as there are no poppy seeds to get into your teeth. Ruins everything. #sex
     Reply
    momof3wildkids was starred momof3wildkids was unstarred
    Image of Conchie Birdie Conchie Birdie
    10/21/09

    @momof3wildkids: And then capped off with some more bacon. Kinda like a grilled cheese only no bread, just bacon. Where's a meat machine when I need one? #sex
     Reply
    Conchie Birdie was starred Conchie Birdie was unstarred
    Image of Spirit Fingers Spirit Fingers
    10/21/09

    In reply to Get Married, Do Chores, Get Laid Rarely
    Er, yeah, cleaning the toilet, and wiping toothpaste off the mirror, faucet, sink, wall (Men, what, you think it's finger paint or something?) and touching various forms of ass-foot crust makes me realllly want to have sex or suffocate you with Lysol. Six of one... #sex
     Reply
    Spirit Fingers was starred Spirit Fingers was unstarred
    Image of blix blix
    10/21/09

    @Spirit Fingers: Hm...come to think of it, I really should be folding laundry. #sex
     Reply
    blix was starred blix was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    10/21/09

    @blix: Show me your hospital corners on those sheets. #sex
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of blix blix
    10/21/09

    @scroll_lock: You can bounce a dime off of those sheets. #sex
     Reply
    blix was starred blix was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    10/21/09

    @blix: Is that what the kids are calling it now? #sex
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of Airvault Airvault
    10/21/09

    In reply to Get Married, Do Chores, Get Laid Rarely
    Horny chore boy...

    Where's Belonsky? #sex
     Reply
    Airvault was starred Airvault was unstarred
    Image of ms_priestypants ms_priestypants
    10/21/09

    @Airvault: and where can I sign up for one? #sex
     Reply
    ms_priestypants was starred ms_priestypants was unstarred
    Image of Botswana Meat Commission FC Botswana Meat Commission FC
    10/21/09

    In reply to Get Married, Do Chores, Get Laid Rarely
    Not to sound all Morrissey-esque, but how does 82 to 83 sexy-times per year equate to "married couples get laid rarely."

    If a single guy were to go out and have one-night stands with 82 different women in the course of a year he'd be considered a modern-day Wilt Chamberlain. #sex
     Reply
    Botswana Meat Commission FC was starred Botswana Meat Commission FC was unstarred
    Image of mexiback mexiback
    10/21/09

    @Botswana Meat Commission FC: The thing here is availability. If you are living with someone 365 days a year, 86 times is like not that much. #sex
     Reply
    mexiback was starred mexiback was unstarred
    Image of MyNameIsChris MyNameIsChris
    10/21/09

    @Botswana Meat Commission FC: Well... if you take Wilt at his word you'd have to be working through more like 4oo one night stands a year. Hmm... that doesn't really add up. I suppose either you have to double up a few nights or throw in a couple one afternoon stands as well. #sex
     Reply
    MyNameIsChris was starred MyNameIsChris was unstarred
    Image of Unsolicited Advice Unsolicited Advice
    10/21/09

    @Botswana Meat Commission FC:

    Well, the act of seducing 82 different women to sleep with you during a year is materially different than convincing the woman you married to have sex with you 82+ times over the same period. Convincing your wife is way, way harder. #sex
     Reply
    Unsolicited Advice was starred Unsolicited Advice was unstarred
    Image of ms.creant ms.creant
    10/21/09

    In reply to Get Married, Do Chores, Get Laid Rarely
    I've tried having sex instead of doing housework--now I have a baby, and even more housework, and even less time for sex.
    Your model is flawed, HamNo. #sex
     Reply
    ms.creant was starred ms.creant was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    10/21/09

    @ms.creant: You forgot to dust off the birth control pills first. #sex
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of ms.creant ms.creant
    10/21/09

    @scroll_lock: I couldn't find them in the mess. #sex
     Reply
    ms.creant was starred ms.creant was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    10/21/09

    @ms.creant: I can tell you a perfect spot to hide an IUD. #sex
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of ms.creant ms.creant
    10/21/09

    @scroll_lock: great, another thing that needs a box. #sex
     Reply
    ms.creant was starred ms.creant was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    10/21/09

    @ms.creant: heh #sex
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of CumaeanSibyl CumaeanSibyl
    10/21/09

    @ms.creant: this wins thread of the day. #sex
     Reply
    CumaeanSibyl was starred CumaeanSibyl was unstarred
    Image of LilyBonesBurana LilyBonesBurana
    10/22/09

    @CumaeanSibyl: I give this thread the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval. #sex
     Reply
    LilyBonesBurana was starred LilyBonesBurana was unstarred
    Image of the_lerpa the_lerpa
    10/21/09

    In reply to Get Married, Do Chores, Get Laid Rarely
    wait, lemme get this straight... the average american couple spends 65 hours a week on housework?? including cooking and cleaning, i probably put in about six hours total. even correcting for my singleness and the fact that i live in an apartment, something isn't adding up. #sex
     Reply
    CaptainFantastic promoted this comment the_lerpa was starred the_lerpa was unstarred
    Image of CaptainFantastic CaptainFantastic
    10/21/09

    @the_lerpa: A couple of kids under 10 adds the difference: about 59 hours of work. #sex
     Reply
    CaptainFantastic was starred CaptainFantastic was unstarred
    Image of Chore Boy Chore Boy
    10/21/09

    @the_lerpa: You're a slob. I do at least 80 hours a week. And that's not counting masturbating my wife. #sex
     Reply
    mattchew03 promoted this comment Chore Boy was starred Chore Boy was unstarred
    Image of Mama Penguino Mama Penguino
    10/21/09

    @CaptainFantastic: Jesus, no kidding. It's almost like a Twilight Zone episode - where you walk into a room you've just picked up and it's as if you were never there. That is, it's trashed yet again. So tell me again why I pick up the same room six times in one evening? And then tell me why I'm not all that interested in giving blow jobs later? #sex
     Reply
    Mama Penguino was starred Mama Penguino was unstarred
    Image of Clarissima Clarissima
    10/21/09

    @the_lerpa: I know! Do these people live in castles? #sex
     Reply
    Clarissima was starred Clarissima was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    10/21/09

    In reply to Get Married, Do Chores, Get Laid Rarely
    1.6 times a week- I didn't realize cadavers did housework. #sex
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of lobstr lobstr
    10/21/09

    @scroll_lock: yeah, especially if it's the top 6/10ths! #sex
     Reply
    lobstr was starred lobstr was unstarred
    Image of skahammer skahammer
    10/21/09

    @scroll_lock: Your high standards in this area are noted.
     Reply
    Edited by skahammer at 10/21/09 1:02 PM skahammer was starred skahammer was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    10/21/09

    @skahammer: Don't forget the french maid ensemble. #sex
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of skahammer skahammer
    10/21/09

    @scroll_lock: Okay, but I don't understand why you make me wear it. The linebacker's jersey and tube socks were working just fine.
     Reply
    Edited by skahammer at 10/21/09 1:35 PM skahammer was starred skahammer was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    10/21/09

    @skahammer: You don't have the rack to pull off those socks. #sex
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of skahammer skahammer
    10/21/09

    @scroll_lock: Sigh. But I remember when it drove you wild anyway.
     Reply
    Edited by skahammer at 10/21/09 2:26 PM skahammer was starred skahammer was unstarred
    Image of TableNein TableNein
    10/21/09

    In reply to Get Married, Do Chores, Get Laid Rarely
    I think HamNo has a bet going to see how many posts he can slip "chore boy" into. #sex
     Reply
    TableNein was starred TableNein was unstarred
    Image of Dr. Nick Dr. Nick
    10/21/09

    @TableNein: I was thinking the same thing! #sex
     Reply
    Airvault promoted this comment Dr. Nick was starred Dr. Nick was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    10/21/09

    @TableNein: That whole sentence made my day. #sex
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of mattchew03 mattchew03
    10/21/09

    @TableNein: Moylan should slip it into one of his Manhunt posts, too. #sex
     Reply
    mattchew03 was starred mattchew03 was unstarred
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