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New York, 3:53 AM
Fri Dec 4
52 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of If_I_Had_a_Poodle If_I_Had_a_Poodle
    12/03/09

    In reply to Grandmothers and Ice Cream Should Not Get So Close
    A friend who worked for years in nursing homes said you'd be amazed at the levels of activity
     Reply
    If_I_Had_a_Poodle was starred If_I_Had_a_Poodle was unstarred
    Image of TheMac TheMac
    12/03/09

    @If_I_Had_a_Poodle: My first job was at a nursing home. I was 14.

    Never forget.
     Reply
    TheMac was starred TheMac was unstarred
    Image of BettyCrocker BettyCrocker
    12/03/09

    In reply to Grandmothers and Ice Cream Should Not Get So Close
    Two Grans, One Cone
     Reply
    BettyCrocker was starred BettyCrocker was unstarred
    Image of If_I_Had_a_Poodle If_I_Had_a_Poodle
    12/03/09

    @BettyCrocker: [instantrimshot.com]
     Reply
    If_I_Had_a_Poodle was starred If_I_Had_a_Poodle was unstarred
    Image of If_I_Had_a_Poodle If_I_Had_a_Poodle
    12/03/09

    In reply to Grandmothers and Ice Cream Should Not Get So Close
    So if your potential partner doesn't have teeth, is that a good thing or a bad thing?
     Reply
    If_I_Had_a_Poodle was starred If_I_Had_a_Poodle was unstarred
    Image of Mike Jahn Mike Jahn
    12/03/09

    @If_I_Had_a_Poodle: Depends on how big are your expectations.
     Reply
    Mike Jahn was starred Mike Jahn was unstarred
    Image of If_I_Had_a_Poodle If_I_Had_a_Poodle
    12/03/09

    @Mike Jahn: ***expectations***
     Reply
    If_I_Had_a_Poodle was starred If_I_Had_a_Poodle was unstarred
    Image of ParahSalin ParahSalin
    12:13 AM

    @If_I_Had_a_Poodle: ***Depends****
    Sorry, I couldn't resist.
     Reply
    If_I_Had_a_Poodle promoted this comment ParahSalin was starred ParahSalin was unstarred
    Image of Mike Jahn Mike Jahn
    12/03/09

    In reply to Grandmothers and Ice Cream Should Not Get So Close
    I suppose there's no benefit whatsoever to getting oral sex from someone who's been doing it for 40 years. Just saying.
     Reply
    Mike Jahn was starred Mike Jahn was unstarred
    Image of If_I_Had_a_Poodle If_I_Had_a_Poodle
    12/03/09

    @Mike Jahn: If they look 70, you think they waited til 30?
     Reply
    If_I_Had_a_Poodle was starred If_I_Had_a_Poodle was unstarred
    Image of AzureTexan AzureTexan
    12/03/09

    @Mike Jahn: Sooner or fellator, someone falls asleep in your lap.
     Reply
    AzureTexan was starred AzureTexan was unstarred
    Image of Seeräuber Jenny Seeräuber Jenny
    12/03/09

    In reply to Grandmothers and Ice Cream Should Not Get So Close
    --Every older woman is not a grandmother. Why are women still being defined in terms of biological capacities that they may not have used?

    -- "Old person"? Looks like old women are the only ones being made fun of in that ad.

    --On the news today I heard that something called a "Grandma's Law" had been passed. It's an anti-violence measure. Like old men aren't victims of crime?

    Apparently, sexism ends only at death.
     Reply
    Seeräuber Jenny was starred Seeräuber Jenny was unstarred
    Image of Mike Jahn Mike Jahn
    12/03/09

    @Seeräuber Jenny: I know lots of 60-something women, and none of them dress up like a 1950s conception of a granny.
     Reply
    Mike Jahn was starred Mike Jahn was unstarred
    Image of contradicto contradicto
    12/03/09

    In reply to Grandmothers and Ice Cream Should Not Get So Close
    Thank god my grandmother's a virgin.
     Reply
    contradicto was starred contradicto was unstarred
    Image of AzureTexan AzureTexan
    12/03/09

    @contradicto: I guess her favorite flavor is Cherry Atric.
     Reply
    AzureTexan was starred AzureTexan was unstarred
    Image of Mike Jahn Mike Jahn
    12/03/09

    In reply to Grandmothers and Ice Cream Should Not Get So Close
    Even more importantly, keep them away from the watermelon.
     Reply
    Mike Jahn was starred Mike Jahn was unstarred
    Image of TheSometimesWhy TheSometimesWhy
    12/03/09

    In reply to Grandmothers and Ice Cream Should Not Get So Close
    Having experience in these matters, watching this sophomoric attempt at an ad only makes me wonder about
    the takes they shot that didn't make the cut because they were in poor taste. The one where octogenarian heroine's pink tongue swirls around the tip of the creamy shaft of her cone, dribbling foamy spumescence onto her ample granny-bags, while the froth leaves a teasing trail as it heads south to her...

    Well, you get my point.

    Good thing I got out before it affected me, huh?
     Reply
    Edited by TheSometimesWhy at 12/03/09 5:37 PM TheSometimesWhy was starred TheSometimesWhy was unstarred
    Image of intime intime
    12/03/09

    In reply to Reverse Cowgirl Is the Most Swine Flu Resistant Sex Position
    Reverse cowgirl is only necessary if he's butt-ugly.
     Reply
    intime was starred intime was unstarred
    Image of BookishLookish BookishLookish
    12/03/09

    In reply to Reverse Cowgirl Is the Most Swine Flu Resistant Sex Position
    This is all a moot point if he has a ball gag in place. Just sayin'.
     Reply
    BookishLookish was starred BookishLookish was unstarred
    Image of intime intime
    12/03/09

    @BookishLookish: Be sure to sterilize that ball gag before and after use, sweetie!
     Reply
    intime was starred intime was unstarred
    Image of Claire Buoyant Claire Buoyant
    12/03/09

    In reply to Reverse Cowgirl Is the Most Swine Flu Resistant Sex Position
    I guess oral sex is out, since "direct contact with an infected person's mouth...will transmit the virus."
     Reply
    Claire Buoyant was starred Claire Buoyant was unstarred
    Image of Magister Magister
    12/03/09

    @Claire Buoyant: I was just about to ask, if there's been any studies of transmission through cunnilingus?
     Reply
    Magister was starred Magister was unstarred
    Image of Claire Buoyant Claire Buoyant
    12/03/09

    @Magister: No more handjobs, either, since the palm is such a virus hotspot.
     Reply
    Claire Buoyant was starred Claire Buoyant was unstarred
    Image of Magister Magister
    12/03/09

    @Claire Buoyant: Okay, so if you're orchestrating a group scene... the handy one should use Purell as a lubricant, then the oral giver should imaginatively get some on their tongue before performing cunnilingus...

    Does that sound about right?
     Reply
    Edited by Magister at 12/03/09 4:26 AM Magister was starred Magister was unstarred
    Image of Ogiri W Surie Ogiri W Surie
    12/03/09

    @Claire Buoyant: How do strap-ons factor into this, or is that for another magazine?
     Reply
    Ogiri W Surie was starred Ogiri W Surie was unstarred
    Image of Claire Buoyant Claire Buoyant
    12/03/09

    @Ogiri W Surie: The only safe sex nowadays is using a strap-on with a RealDoll.
     Reply
    Claire Buoyant was starred Claire Buoyant was unstarred
    Image of Claire Buoyant Claire Buoyant
    12/03/09

    @Magister: I found a solution. Since Purell is 65% alcohol, we just need to keep the party lubricated with, say, Bacardi 151. Drink up!
     Reply
    Claire Buoyant was starred Claire Buoyant was unstarred
    Image of Magister Magister
    12/03/09

    @Claire Buoyant: 151 - It's what the doctor ordered.
     Reply
    Magister was starred Magister was unstarred
    Image of Atilla the Bun Atilla the Bun
    12/03/09

    In reply to Reverse Cowgirl Is the Most Swine Flu Resistant Sex Position
    This was obviously written by a man since it assumes absolutely no foreplay other than possibly a pre-coital bumping of fists and a light upper-arm squeeze before jumping right into the reverse cowgirl.
     Reply
    Atilla the Bun was starred Atilla the Bun was unstarred
    Image of Trai_Dep Trai_Dep
    12/03/09

    @Atilla the Bun: What is this "foreplay" to which you reference? I try to remember to say, "Thanks," before I roll over to the dry spot and nod off to sleep - does that count?
     Reply
    Trai_Dep was starred Trai_Dep was unstarred
    Image of raincoaster raincoaster
    12/03/09

    In reply to Reverse Cowgirl Is the Most Swine Flu Resistant Sex Position
    Fist bumping is very popular at the conferences I attend. Not so sure about reverse cowgirl, sadly. Will have to do more research.
     Reply
    raincoaster was starred raincoaster was unstarred
    Image of raincoaster raincoaster
    12/03/09

    In reply to Reverse Cowgirl Is the Most Swine Flu Resistant Sex Position
    Or you could just have sex with somebody with a surgeon fetish. The masks come in lots of colours!
     Reply
    raincoaster was starred raincoaster was unstarred
    Image of i'm a bottle i'm a bottle
    12/03/09

    In reply to Reverse Cowgirl Is the Most Swine Flu Resistant Sex Position
    This chart is useful for separating complete idiots out from the general population. Do you go in for mass hysterias? Yes. Do you blindly follow infographics in Cosmo? Yes. There's the door.
     Reply
    Edited by i'm a bottle at 12/03/09 2:45 AM i'm a bottle was starred i'm a bottle was unstarred
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