We Have Found the Least Privileged Group in America

After six rounds of elimination and tens of thousands of votes cast, the Gawker Privilege Tournament has concluded. Ladies and gentlemen, please meet the Least Privileged Group in America:

After six rounds of elimination and tens of thousands of votes cast, the Gawker Privilege Tournament has concluded. Ladies and gentlemen, please meet the Least Privileged Group in America:

Last week, sixty-four categories of non-privilege entered this arena. Today, only two remain. It is time for the final round of the Gawker Privilege Tournament, where we will determine the least privileged people in America. Vote now, and forever.
Congratulations, friends: you have democratically determined that a homeless, overweight transgender Native American Muslim zoophile with a mental illness and a latex allergy is the single least privileged person in America. Now the real work begins.
With your help, we are on a quest to find the least privileged subgroup of all. Yesterday, we launched The Privilege Tournament. Today, it is time for you to vote once again.
Privilege: so sweet to have. But even sweeter to not have. Privilege has its benefits, but the lack of privilege confers that sweet, sweet moral superiority. With that in mind, we have decided to determine who, exactly, has the least privilege of all.
Cotton-topped moron Richard Cohen is, of course, an awful newspaper columnist. We're used to his steady stream of ill-concealed bigotry, horny romance diatribes, and routine contempt for the entire idea of "journalism." But now, Richard Cohen is forging bold new frontiers of fucked up sexual obsession.
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Last week, Colorado Republican Senate candidate Ken Buck compared homosexuality to alcoholism. Then, Massachusetts Republican Congressional candidate Sean Bielat argued that, if short people can't join the military, gays shouldn't be allowed, either. Yesterday, Stephen Colbert mocked both of them.
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The Westboro Baptist Church—aka the "God Hates Fags" imbeciles—likes to protest. Recently, its members held a rally against Los Angeles' Jewish Federation, and—in an unlikely/funny turn of events—comedian Dave Sirus decided to turn the tables on the hate-mongers.
Researchers attempting to survey men with genital piercings found that those who responded were overwhelmingly Caucasian (89%), heterosexual (82%) and middle-class (56% earn $45,000 yearly). Can you think of another group of mostly white, straight, middle-class men?
That JC Penney commercial, which featured two teens practicing for a naked romp in the basement? The one that won a prize at the Cannes Lions Awards this weekend and spread quickly on the Web yesterday? It was an unauthorized fake, and executives at the department store are royally pissed. "It's obviously…