America's women, once famed the world over for their purity and tended lovingly by husbands in their kitchens to preserve their precious virtue, are now little more than a gaggle of slatternly harlots, screeching for ever-shorter shorts in a neverending quest to expose greater and greater quantities of naked flesh on…
Andrea Peyser, New York's leading heterosexual sex columnist, has an opinion on the very latest news in the case of the Alleged Hot Lesbian Teachers—last week's ruling that Alleged Hot Lesbian Teacher Alini Brito may return to the classroom. As your leading internet aggregator of Alleged Hot Lesbian Teacher news, we…
We're all familiar with the case of the Alleged Hot Lesbian Teachers, who were allegedly caught in a hot classroom having hot lesbian sex (with each other), in the classroom, at the school. Yeah. Very familiar. *Disturbing leer* As journalists—*Disturbing leer*—we're committed to keeping you up to date with Alleged…
As you probably read in some of those less reputable pornography news outlets, a Brooklyn high school teacher has been arrested and charged with rape for allegedly having sex with a 16 year-old student in her office, like a dozen freaking times. Why do we even bring up this tawdry mess, when we could be discussing the…
You wouldn't wish Lolo Jones' problems on your worst enemy. She was an Olympic hurdler in 2008. She's one of the biggest track and field stars in America. Next month, at age 29, she'll be running to qualify for the Olympics again. Imagine the pressure (and the sweating!). On top of that, she has the sculpted body of a…
Hotel room doormat USA Today is the first source that Americans turn to to learn about angels. But what about devils? The devil on your shoulder—and by "shoulder," we mean "sexual organs." Will this Fifty Shades of Grey book your book club wants to read turn you into a dirty little sex fiend slut, that's right,…
"Let's teach horny frogs to zip it up" is the headline today on the professional newspaper column written by Andrea "Sexxx Sexxx Sexxx Sexxx Embittered Tabloid Lady" Peyser. Seems like a good headline for someone whose primary interests are anger and frog cocks. (Andrea Peyser.) What is in this column, today?
The number one fiction book in all of America today: soft core spank-sex LOLrotica extravaganza Fifty Shades of Grey. The number two fiction book in America: the sequel, Fifty Shades Darker. The number three fiction book in America: Fifty Shades Freed, the final entry of the "erotic trilogy."
Slut-obsessed sexual sex columnist and hate machine Andrea Peyser is unafraid to speak out when hot, young, sexual teens are doing something potentially sexual, with their bodies. Journalism, you see, is the reason that Andre recently spent the day prowling St. Marks Place, watching young kids who've been taught at …
What's the "hot" news in Wisconsin today? And by hot we mean "explicitly sexual?" As in slang for that? Ha, I'm glad "you" asked. (Meaning me, rhetorically).
Katie Roiphe, a well-to-do white woman who will not shut up, has a case of mortal ennui which is relieved only by publishing cretinous trolling articles which draw sweeping pseudopsychological conclusions about womankind from a small handful of vacuous anecdotes mixed with pop culture strained through the special…
Breathy Reaganite Peggy Noonan dislikes the coarseness that has crept into our public dialogue. The coarseness, she dislikes it. But there it is, in our public dialogue. Peggy Noonan did not create this world. Creating this coarseness is not something which sings to Peggy Noonan's soul. But she must acknowledge it.…
Phonetically-challenged rodent Kreayshawn, the logical outcome of allowing irony-worshiping white internet users to determine what's "hot" in hip hop, has announced in GQ Magazine that she is bisexual. This is the most shocking revelation of bisexuality by a young female rapper since the last one a few weeks ago.
For years, the advertising industry has wrestled with a fundamental, metaphysical question: can images of breasts be used to sell things? The investigation continues.
Azealia Banks is the smiley young crush object of certain internet types due in no small part to lyrics like, "Kick it with ya bitch that come from Parisian/ She know where I get mine from, end of season/ Now she wanna lick my plum in the evening/ And fit that tongue-tongue d-deep in/ I guess that cunt gettin eaten."…
We all know that frenetic tabloid sex oracle Andrea Peyser is strongly opposed to hussies, as well as sluts. But how does she feel about loose lying whores who cry rape as a way to cover up for their own loose, whorish behavior, and maybe they should have just never opened their legs for every man who says hello?…
I think it's because she talks about oral sex just as much as Lil Kim but instead of Biggie in the background there's some kinda nerdy guy and so some people on the internet do a double take and say "The pretty smiling dancing girl in pigtails and short shorts who loves oral sex sometimes hangs out with kinda nerdy…
We know how it is. You were raised completely by the internet, your entire personality is an online creation, and though you're suave on IM, the prospect of chatting up a girl in person is a strange and terrifying prospect. Some of you have been reduced to paying hundreds of dollars to professional wingpersons to help…
Gather round, horny America: your daily scientific study with the word "sex" in it is here, for everyone to slobber over in a scientifically acceptable way. Riddle me this: who has hotter, sexxxier sex, do you think—hot sexxxy young women whose bodies are taut, tauter, and tautest; or old and wrinkly women?
