Sexy
”Andrea Peyser Demands To See X-Ray Cock
The Post's Andrea Peyser, who is like a mix of Ann Coulter, Ed Koch, and a rat with rabies, has a few things she can't stand: liberals, whiners, all things pure and good. Now you can add to that list "millimeter wave technology," an improved airport full-body security scanning method. It sees through clothes and leaves nothing to the imagination! "It's enough to make me rethink my hairstyle. I'm not referring to my head." Gross, Andrea Peyser. Jesus. She watches a woman go through the scan, and cleverly riffs, "The machine also shaved off 15 pounds, a good argument for scanning females." I get it, women are fat! Then, she insists that a man go through, so she can look at his penis: More »The Time Has Come For Women To Buy Lasers
After much delay, the future has arrived. Everybody's buying lasers! And, everybody's hairless! If you guessed that these two things are related, you are probably an astute female consumer of laser hair removal services. But now that the world of science fiction is here, you don't have to sit around cold, impersonal cut-rate salons to have some young whippet blast the hair off your body with concentrated pulses of scalding light; you can do it in the comfort of your own home, with no training or safety at all! We can already anticipate the hilarious domestic violence battles that will end with a laser being drawn. Two consumer-targeted lasers, the Tria ($995) and the Silk'n ($800), are about to be launched [WSJ ($)]. Just one slight drawback: these lasers are sexist and racist! More »10 Terrible Reasons to Have Sex Tonight
Sex: it's one of the most popular activities to do when naked. People just seem to like it. If the TV is any indication, everyone really wants to have sex all the time. According to top scientists, if we don't have sex, our entire civilization could collapse! So CBS gives you their top ten reasons to have sex tonight. Don't wait until tomorrow. Sex must be had tonight! After the jump, ten of the worst pick-up lines ever. More »Breakthrough Website Gives Women Cute Guy Info
TheFrisky.com has finally launched! If you have an exceedingly good memory, you'll recall it as the purportedly smart and fun love and sex site for women we previewed for you a month ago, which seeks to sneakily promote "Sex and the City" through dog sex. It seems that they've edited out most of the dog sex, unfortunately, and they no longer want to "bone Barack Obama"—a political shift. So how to put the actual live content into words? How about.... "SexyFashionGuysCuteSoooooooooAnnoying!" More »The Condensed Guide To Avril Lavigne
Important musician Avril Lavigne has stepped up to correct those misinformed rumors about her with an official interview in the new issue of Maxim, an important source of journalism. "Q: NOW IT SEEMS ALL THE BLOGGERS ARE SAYING YOU'RE PREGNANT... A: Remember in high school when people would start fake rumors about you? Well, this isn't high school; it's like, the entire world." AH MAH GAH Avril you are so right! We were just sitting around the blogger table in the lunchroom talking about that. Also, she says she is a "wino." Plus, we are putting some of Maxim's sexy (if that's your type) pictures of her after the jump. Now you don't have to read the story at all! More »
where are they now
What is Brooke Geahan Up To Now?
When we last checked in with downtown doyenne Brooke Geahan, the founder of the defunct Accompanied Library was still pouting about her Library being booted from its home at the National Arts Club. The Accompanied Library, despite reports that hiphop mogul Damon Dash was throwing his weight behind it, was presumed dead. But then there was Art Basel and Brooke Geahan, like a phoenix, rose again! This time though, she looked somehow aged—and was auctioning off a Botox session with Dr. Timothy Colbert. More »
sexy affective disorder
It's In the Low Thirties Outside, Do You Know Where Your Crotch Is?--M4W--26
What the red robin is to spring or the Shagbark Hickory's brilliant flaming foliage is to autumn, dirty Craigslist postings are to winter. Every year near the first snow, the Casual Encounters section of Craigslist positively bristles with cold young men and women (but almost entirely men, and some of those women are also men!) looking to be warmed up. This usually involves some amount of sexual contact with strangers or as one 34-year-old man put it, "IT'S COLD OUT-LETS RUB OUR HOT BODIES TOGETHER TO KEEP WARM." I've always relied on the radiator, a good pair of slippers and tea but hey, what do I know? More »
the opposite of sexy
Robert Olen Butler Imagines The Sex Lives Of The Famous, Reveals Own Neuroses (Again)
"You're never more alone than when you're coupling," reads the introduction to a feature in December's Playboy by "Pulitzer Prize-winning writer Robert Olen Butler." Of course, nobody knows loneliness better than R.O.B.—he's the one whose wife left him for Ted Turner, prompting him to write one of the craziest emails we've ever seen about how happy he is for them and how he totally understands why his wife would want to be with an older man since her childhood abuser was one and you, you, you, oughta know! Anyway, Playboy has given him the task of imagining what's going on in the minds of, among others, Santa and an elf, young Hillary Rodham and Bill Clinton, and present-day George and Laura Bush. The results might be the unsexiest thing in Playboy, and that is saying a lot. More »
books that should not exist
How Crazy Sexy Cool Is Your Cancer?
Kris Carr got a rare form of cancer at age 31, and she decided to share her wisdom for young people with old-people diagnoses in a book, and a blog, called "Crazy Sexy Cancer Tips." She was on Oprah on Monday! Her book made Times health blogger Tara Parker-Pope feel like she'd "just had three cups of coffee." Great! But: Crazy Sexy Cancer Tips? Crazy Sexy Cancer Tips? We could almost get behind this title if this book was by a member of the semi-defunct pop group TLC. Instead it is a documentary on TLC.
sexy librarians
The Accompanied Library Is Back—Thanks To Damon Dash?
Last night we were at the National Arts Club for the launch party for Supper Club, Tamsin Lonsdale's socialite dining and dating club, now being imported from London. Supper Club boasts a huge committee of the social set. Everyone's breath smelled like smoked salmon. The place brings back memories! The National Arts Club used to rent out an apartment there, via sort-of art dealer and real estate heir and "party-going bachelor" Tim Nye, to the Accompanied Library, the now-defunct lending library and literary salon. But apparently the relationship between Library co-founder Brooke Geahan and Nye went south, and Nye tossed them out. More »
no sexy witches
Park Slope Middle School Wastes Strippers On Little Kid Party
Strippers handing out candy to your children! It could happen to you! (If you live in Park Slope.) According to the Daily News, a half-dozen Scores exotic dancers are heading to Brooklyn's Middle School 51 to work the candy booths at this Saturday's Haunted Halloween Carnival Benefit for the Puppetry Art Theatre. And parents are outraged! Well, like one parent is outraged. It's Park Slope, parents would probably only get up in arms about this if one of the strippers said Carroll Gardens kids were better behaved or something.More »
Beauty Pageant Winners Are A Better Form Of Life
When we last saw Donald Trump, it was at the Bridgehampton Polo Club. A stream of long thin bilious beauty queens trailed behind him. They were shooting a show for MTV called Pageant Place. In it, Miss Universe, Miss USA, Miss Teen USA and former coke-loving party girl Tara Conner, ex-Miss USA, learn to live, love and learn together. Well, learn not so much. It's kind of like 'The Hills' meets 'Gossip Girl' meets 'Kid Nation.' In this scene, Miss Universe is aghast to learn that you need photo ID to get on an airplane. Good thing she brought her sash! [Video by Slut Machine]
time to settle
Bloomberg Confesses He Still Moonlights At His Day Job
The lil' ladies suing both Mayor Mike Bloomberg and his company Bloomberg LP for being discarded after they became pregnant have claimed they knew the Mayor talked regularly with Bloomberg's CEO—despite the wee helicopter-flying oligarch's loud protestations that he has nothing to do with the company. Oh guess what? "After a week of distancing himself from the company he founded and owns," says the Times, "Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg said yesterday that he talked regularly to senior executives at the firm and was kept abreast of what was happening there." Please, can please everyone please not use "abreast" when writing about sex discrimination litigation please?
Hey, It's That Dude From 'Six Feet Under' Arguing With A Priest!
We didn't watch the premier of ABC's "Dirty Sexy Money" last night, but our videoguy Nick did, and he thought it was awful. So we were like, Okay, Nick, why don't you show us the absolute worst part, something that demonstrates why you think this show is so irredeemably bad. So he did. You know what? He makes the case.



















