Whether or not you agree with the residents or the club owners, you must admit that this sign is a pretty brilliant strategy. While you can fight the good fight at city hall, it's not nearly as satisfying as the "fuck you" of letting your dog piss on something. And, as far as we know, letting your animal heed the call of nature isn't illegal. So, here are some easy targets for the next time you want to use Fido to get a little bit of revenge.

• People Who Talk on Their Phones on the Subway Stairs: If you are going to stand there finishing an inane conversation and getting in everyone's way, then your socks need to be turned a different shade of yellow.
• Faux Irish Pubs: There's nothing wrong with trying to bring a bit of the old country, but do we really need one of these on every block? Stem the tide by making them all stink.
• 4 Times Square: Yeah, they just had a ton of layoffs today, but between Anna, Graydon, and all the other snoots over at Conde, they still deserve a little squirt.
• Anyone Who Says "Cool Beans" with Lack of Irony: Yes, they are still out there, and they just deserve it.
• Uggs: Now that fall is starting, sad girls all over the country are getting theirs out of the closet. Maybe if we train all the canines in Manhattan to pee on them, we can keep them in the back of the closet forever.
• The Line at Shake Shack: Anything that will make the wait for PB&J custard that much shorter is welcome indeed.
• The Line at Magnolia Bakery: If you travel here all the way from Iowa to retrace the steps of Carrie Bradshaw and you're going to waste an hour or more of your trip waiting in line for a dry piece of caked topped by way too much disgusting hard frosting, then you need some tinkle to go with your sprinkles.
• People Who Brag They Don't Own a Television: If your self-righteousness is going to piss on me and my intense TiVo habit, then we are going to have the dog piss on you.
• Subway Riders with Fancy Books: Between the natural sights, smells and noises that are native to the subway, there is no way you could adequately give Ulysses or On the Road or Crime and Punishment the attention it requires. If you believe for a second that our dog buys that you are reading about Anna Karenina getting hit by a train, then you should get some warm liquid on you, and you should get hit by the train.
• Murray Hill: Just about anywhere will do.

Well! Oxfeld's attempt to break through the threshold from the mere peasantry of a walk-in right to a prime time table was chronicled by Eater:

I feel Oxfeld's pain, as someone who has both been through the intense process of trying to get a goddamn steak and as someone who used to take reservations for Keith McNally's restaurants. Full disclosure!

Without revealing any of the top secret, Pandora's Box-esque Black Voodoo BloodMagik that goes into getting a table at one of his places, know that it can be done. But Oxfeld, who—Mazel Tov!—was recently named the new theater critic at the New York Observer, wasn't getting one. And he wasn't about to take that shit lying down, or past 10PM.

It sounds like he tried to get a reservation exchanged, and was a little too aggro in dealing with the reservationist on the other line. Note to all New York Diners: be nice to your reservationists. Otherwise, you might end up getting it blogged, and the owner of the restaurant will consequently call you out for being an asshole. Like this:

I just investigated the Jesse Oxfeld claim and discovered that most of what he said is quite true. However, according to Hannan, the reservationist who took his call, Mr. Oxfeld was so pushy and aggressive on the telephone that she took it upon herself to distort the reservation policy to ensure that someone as unpleasant-sounding as Mr. Oxfeld would not be eating at Minetta Tavern.

I'm personally so upset not to have someone as unpleasant and aggressive on the telephone not eat at Minetta Tavern that I'd like to now take this opportunity to offer my sincere and heartfelt apologies to Mr Oxfeld.

Sincerely,
Keith McNally

Zing! For those of you outside New York who are still wondering what the everloving fuck is so important or amazing to deal with the trouble of getting a reservation at a place like Minetta, well, departed New York Times dining critic Frank Bruni, in a review noting Minetta as "the best steakhouse in the city," also wrote:

Where Mr. McNally goes, models, movie honchos and magazine scribes follow, because they're sure to find themselves among other members of their slavishly fashionable tribe, coddled in an environment that's as much stage set as mess hall.

Also, the french fries are cooked in Lorenzo's Oil and the salads are topped with Weapons-Grade plutonium flakes: it's the new Foie Gras. Mind you, this is a city that will wait for hours for a goddamn hamburger, rain or shine.

New York, New York. It's a hell of a town. If you need any further explanation, this should help.

Shake Shack [Shake Shack]
Earlier: Shake Shack Full of Doody, Shake Shack Not Full of Doody

As you may have heard, Shake Shack performed poorly when it was inspected by the Health Department on July 25, 2006. There is no excuse for these results, and we have already addressed every point aggressively with the goal of getting an "A" on our re-inspection. The facts are not nearly as bleak as what you may have read or heard.

Operating a small, stand-alone establishment in a park is both a privilege and a challenge; we work hard every day to provide the cleanest possible environment for our guests, as well as the safest and most comfortable workplace for our employees. The major violations for which we were cited were either structural or operational. None found conditions of vermin, mucus, urine or feces.

There you have it. (Emphasis Meyer's.) We wish he would have also addressed the rumors that the hot garlic potato chips at Union Square Café are actually made from the flesh of deceased former regular USC Roger Strauss, as called for in Strauss' will, but maybe next time. We once again feel confident that the shakes at the Shack have no more urine than is usually found in such products.

Earlier: Shake Shack Only 2nd Dirtiest Restaurant in NYC

Shake Shack [NYDMHH via Eater]
[Photo: aser]

I generally suggest people meet me there at noon, we get in line and start our conversation, just like we'd be doing at a restaurant while we order and wait for the food.

Generally at that time of day, its about 20 minutes wait, unless its raining in which case, you need to find another place for your lunch.

After we order, we get a table, and there are almost always tables to be had, and continue our discussion.

Then the food comes, we eat, finish our conversation, and leave.

OMG, this is so going into our RSS. We can't for "How To Take a Dump At Blue Smoke."

How To Do A Business Lunch At The Shake Shack [A VC]