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New York, 2:31 AM
Thu Dec 10
57 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of RonMwangaguhunga RonMwangaguhunga
    04/13/09

    In reply to Madoff Family Already Learning Prison Slang, Cooking Skills
    Note to Bernie Mac on his upcoming existence in a moist, Oz-like scenario -- don't EVER accept a burger heated by a radiator, or "fruit cocktail sterno" fermented in the "lavatory," no matter how well-presented the offer. There is, as Milton friedman once noted so poignantly, no such thing as a free lunch. Finally, dear sweet lord, don't EVER -- EVER! -- accept "protection" from a larger, weightlifting afficionado, in exchange for "breaking him off a piece," once in a while.


    You will be fighting for your ASS.

     Reply
    RonMwangaguhunga was starred RonMwangaguhunga was unstarred
    Image of Mount_Prion Mount_Prion
    04/13/09

    In reply to Madoff Family Already Learning Prison Slang, Cooking Skills
    This sounds like a guide of how to survive in a college dorm.
     Reply
    Mount_Prion was starred Mount_Prion was unstarred
    Image of Aaron Altman Aaron Altman
    04/13/09

    In reply to Madoff Family Already Learning Prison Slang, Cooking Skills
    ON DEFUSING A CONFRONTATION

    Walk up to aggrieved inmate and say "Hey man, are we cool? Are we cool? You want some of my smokes? These aren't menthols, this is the good stuff, the good stuff sent by my cousin Ted, you know, the one with one good eye doin' life at Sing Sing? Man, are we cool now? You can have my blanket too, man, I know you're mattress is thin, this'll help you with your bad back, you know it will, and I can score an extra pillow for you too, man, and I'll give you my sloppy Joe next week, sound good?" right before sticking said aggrieved inmate with a shiv to the gut.
     Reply
    Aaron Altman was starred Aaron Altman was unstarred
    Image of scroll_lock scroll_lock
    04/13/09

    @Aaron Altman: Whatever happened to the good old days offering of a cake shaped amazingly not unlike a file?
     Reply
    scroll_lock was starred scroll_lock was unstarred
    Image of Aaron Altman Aaron Altman
    04/13/09

    @scroll_lock: Well that's how I got you out, Skwolly. Isn't it fun, living on the lam?
     Reply
    Aaron Altman was starred Aaron Altman was unstarred
    Image of depardoo depardoo
    04/13/09

    In reply to Madoff Family Already Learning Prison Slang, Cooking Skills
    See the Testimonials for a fabulous group of Fifth Amendment pleaders who have since become verbose.
     Reply
    depardoo was starred depardoo was unstarred
    Image of Rhymenocerous Rhymenocerous
    04/13/09

    In reply to Madoff Family Already Learning Prison Slang, Cooking Skills
    Are you telling me there is a chance Bernie will be raped in prison? I assumed these financial guys got set up in fancy prisons where the inmates were quite civil to each other. But this would be way better!
     Reply
    Rhymenocerous was starred Rhymenocerous was unstarred
    Image of Nic Fit Nic Fit
    04/13/09

    @czecher: Remember that line from Office Space? "White collar prison is no joke. One of my clients said on the first day you either kick someone's ass or become someone's bitch."
     Reply
    Nic Fit was starred Nic Fit was unstarred
    Image of Dickdogfood Dickdogfood
    04/13/09

    In reply to Madoff Family Already Learning Prison Slang, Cooking Skills
    This has to be a hoax.
     Reply
    Dickdogfood was starred Dickdogfood was unstarred
    Image of Trulymadlyme Trulymadlyme
    04/13/09

    In reply to Madoff Family Already Learning Prison Slang, Cooking Skills
    Wow. This book would have been totally useful in high school.
     Reply
    Trulymadlyme was starred Trulymadlyme was unstarred
    Image of Krashstar Krashstar
    12/18/08

    In reply to Ponzi Schemer's Label-Whoring Niece Married SEC Lawyer
    SEC: Hey Bernie, cute daughter!


    BM: You like?


    SEC: How much?


    BM: For the leetle girl?


    SEC: Yeah, for the leetle girl.


    BM: Humm, let's see. How about a 'get out of jail free' card.


    SEC: Oh shit, we got a dozen of those.


    BM: Okay, well I 'll take them.


    SEC: Here you go.


    BM: Sweet, thanks. My daughter will be around at 8.


    SEC: Super. It's been a pleasure doing business with you.


    BM: The pleasure's all mine.


    SEC: Ok. Good luck with the massive fraud, okay?


    BM: Hey, thanks. Couldn't do it without ya!

     Reply
    Krashstar was starred Krashstar was unstarred
    Image of sakade sakade
    12/17/08

    In reply to Ponzi Schemer's Label-Whoring Niece Married SEC Lawyer
    I love that the little girl in the bottom left photo is all "whoa, someone get this zombie bitch away from me, and feed her a cheeseburger while you're at it."
     Reply
    sakade was starred sakade was unstarred
    Image of GuyBitchy GuyBitchy
    12/17/08

    In reply to Ponzi Schemer's Label-Whoring Niece Married SEC Lawyer
    Busted.


    (Her face as well.)

     Reply
    GuyBitchy was starred GuyBitchy was unstarred
    Image of kimsama kimsama
    12/17/08

    In reply to Ponzi Schemer's Label-Whoring Niece Married SEC Lawyer
    The SEC is so ridiculously understaffed (and, when staffed, generally staffed by those who should really recuse themselves from every case) that the fact that they knew about Madoff for 9 years and did nothing (no staff), and the fact his son-in-law was high up at the SEC (no will to pursue) = quel surprise. Seriously, they have like 1 person to do what 20 people would do in the private sector, and then that person who does the work for 20 is also a crook. Awesome.
     Reply
    kimsama was starred kimsama was unstarred
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