Humans Constantly Surprised That Sharks Live in the Ocean
The news across America this summer: sharks. Alive!
Nothing Can Convince Me That Blake Lively's Life Is Worth More Than a Great White Shark's
This weekend, I caught up on a movie I had been meaning to see because it’s about a shark, was directed by Jaume Collet-Serra (who directed one of my favorite trashy movies of the 21st century, Orphan), is certified “fresh” on Rotten Tomatoes, and came recommended by people whose opinions I trust. A scrappy little…
A New Era of TV-Famous Billionaire Politicians Is Upon Us
Why is it that people continually conflate the accrual of loads and loads of money coupled with a cheesy TV spot as prerequisites to becoming an effective policy-maker?
“Initial observations indicate a surfer was bit by an eel, not a shark, over the weekend off Hawaii’s popular Waikiki Beach, but officials said Monday they’re working to confirm that,” the Associated Press reports. “The state does not keep records of such bites, as they do for sharks.” Stay tuned!
Kid Badly Wants to Say "Holy Shit," Can't Close the Deal
Here is a video of a kid who just so damn badly wants to shout “holy shit” but just can’t get any closer than “holy crud,” which, if we’re being honest, is a poor substitute.
That's Not a Shark—This Is a Shark
How big was that shark? That shark was so big it scared famed Australian television personality Karl Stefanovic out of the water forever: “That’s the biggest thing I’ve ever seen.”
Shark Sends Powerful Message to Beach Goers: "Get the Fuck Out of My Water"
A terrifying and cold-blooded demonstration took place today in Cape Cod and trust me when I tell you, this killer shark knew exactly what kind of bloody message he, or maybe she, was sending to wealthy Massachusetts residents: “I’m gonna fucking eat you.”
Look at This Fucking Shark
Deep Blue is one of the largest great whites ever caught on film, with an estimated length of 20 feet. That’s funny because she looks at least 5,000 feet long to me. In the gif above, she’s like, “Hey guys, my head is literally the size of your body lol.”
Beached Great White Shark Hitches Ride To Safety via Sucker Human--Whee!
I can’t tell who’s having more fun in this video—the shark that was beached or the human that took it upon themselves to be good samaritans. Just kidding, it’s totally the shark.
Truck "Full of Sharks" Crashes in Florida, Killing One (Shark)
On Wednesday, a semi-truck described by multiple outlets as being “full of sharks” crashed in Volusia County, Florida, ejecting one of the fish and killing it, WESH reports.
One of Katy Perry's Backup Sharks Has a Great Tinder Pickup Line
The highlight of Super Bowl XLIX was undoubtedly Katy Perry's (okay, Missy Elliott's) halftime show feature two dancers in dopey shark costumes, at least one of whom had learned the routine beforehand. It seems one of those sharks knew he would be famous days before the big show, and tried to parlay his role as a…
"For a moment, she was grateful for the shark's oddly ridiculous yet comforting words, as strange as this all was. She listened quietly, taking in the delicious consolation being offered." Probably one of the best stories about a talking shark you'll find out there.
Sharks Are Eating the Internet But Not Fucking Fast Enough
It'd be great if furious animals could destroy all the things that make us unhappy: imagine crows picking apart our texts from mom, or a giraffe stomping on bad cops. Luckily, it looks like sharks are devouring the underwater cables that make the internet possible.
Genius Surfs Dead Whale, Gets Stranded When Sharks Appear All Around Him
On Saturday afternoon, a man in Western Australia decided to board the carcass of a dead whale that had been floating in the water for several weeks, "surfing" it for fun—until he noticed that the waters all around him were spotted with hungry sharks.
Ever See a Dolphin Eat a Shark?
A group of marine biologists recently lucked into filming—possibly for the first time—a pod of killer whales trapping and eating a tiger shark near Costa Rica.
Two Kayakers Survive Great White Attack Off Massachusetts Coast
Ida Parker and Kristin Orr were kayaking and taking pictures of seals off Plymouth, Mass., last night when a shark bit one of their boats, sending them both tumbling into the water. Both women escaped without injuries.
A Texas Ministry Fed an 800-Pound Tiger Shark to the Homeless
In what is apparently not a Shark Week publicity stunt, a fisherman who caught an 809-pound tiger shark donated the animal's meat to a Texas ministry, where it was breaded, baked, and served to the poor and homeless.
Great White Shark Takes A Bite Out of Distance Swimmer in California
Oh, good. Shark season is here. Authorities at the Los Angeles Fire Department have revealed that a man swimming at Manhattan Beach was bitten on the upper right side by a great white shark when he was swimming in a group of distance swimmers.
Fishermen Catch Great White Shark off Coast of Queens
Summer has barely started, and already people are finding terrifying beasts in the waters surrounding New York City. Just last weekend, a group of fishermen caught a baby great white shark off the coast of Rockaway Beach, Queens.
Idiot dog commits suicide.
