This week's Paris Match has a number of pictures of Ms. Stone shot by Alix Malka in which she rocks a corset and little else. We would say she looks good for her age, but she just looks good! There's an accompanying article but — zut alors! — it's in French. At least there are pretty pictures. [Fleshbot, NSFW]

In an article by Le Figaro food critic François McFrench (nee François Simon) about a hotel in Cannes in the part of the New York Times that is purely aspirational not only for a lifestyle but for an era deja passé namely T Magazine, the chef at the Hotel du Cap recalls one morning when the American actress Ms. Sharon Stone ordered some fucked up shit for brekkers.

Sharon Stone, in a fit of inspiration, requested a harpist, followed by a Nebuchadnezzar of Champagne.

Fit of inspiration huh? Getting wasted and listening to a harpist sounds just like another typical morning for Andy Samberg (Zing! Look here see because he's dating Joanna Newsom, who plays the harp.) A more pressing question isn't necessarily whether it was Terpsichore or Calliope who was Ms. Stone's muse but where the fuck do you get a harpist at 9 am in Cannes on a moment's notice? Was there an instant one—just add water!-like a Sea Monkey packet in the janitorial closet? Whatever.

Here's the point: Sharon Stone might be old but she's still a) famous and b) attractive. Now you know something she likes in the morning. So the next time you see her—maybe with Rachel Zoe and BoysIIMen at the Waverly—instead of trotting your old line out, "How do you like your eggs in the morning? [Pause] Fertilized?" You can say, "Listen, I have a half-open bottle of Veuve from a month ago and a CD of Loreena McKennitt. Want to come to my walk-up and make love?" Chances are she'll say yes.

• Alex Rodriguez must be into Madonna again, because he's resumed his hunt for an apartment two blocks away. [P6]
• How does a steakhouse beat the recession? Have artist Julian Schnabel decorate a closet and bill it as the most exclusive private dining space in the city. [P6]
• Woody Allen wasted no time signing Slumdog Millionaire's Freido Pinto to a role in his new movie. Maybe his former "muse" Scarlett Johansson can write a weepy song about it. Or, you know, just cover something by Tom Waits that reasonably approximates her feelings. [Mirror]
• Bernie Madoff's wife totally scammed a deli owner into selling her the Post at half price. [P6]
• Mario Batali denied calling a rowdy South Beach food festival crowd "weasel fuckwads," but more and more people keep confirming the story to the Post. [P6]
• Sharon Stone and Andre Balazs are apparently an item. [Gatecrasher]
• Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson have been photographed sitting together on a park bench in Paris. Experts are still debating the deeper meaning and layered symbolism of this encounter.

Stone's assignment seemed simple enough: Present the evening's Best Picture award, naturally destined for Slumdog. But with neither a date nor a pioneering scientific theory to occupy her pre-show interview with the BBC, she instinctively courted a starstruck Patel's assistance. What happened next is open to interpretation, though British gossips report that the chaste Q&A belies the racier courtship that followed:

Stone, 50, reportedly dated 24-year-old Chase Dreyfus last year before their relationship cooled. And Stone proved she is keen on another young man - after the Basic Instinct star flirted with newcomer Patel, 18, on the red carpet at the prestigious film event.

He says, "Sharon's great, she's been flirting with me all night. She was chasing me around earlier, slapping me. Sharon Stone! Can you believe it?"

Dev. Buddy. Seriously. You're kidding, right?

• Sharon Stone slaps Dev Patel [BBC]

• Stone Sets Sights On 'Slumdog' Star Patel
  [WENN]

• A Variety critic slugged a movie flack at Sundance for supposedly harassing him. Also, the flack was "The Dude" from The Big Lebowski, except the real-life version. True story. [P6]
• Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner went on a double-date with Jim McGreevey and whoever the former New Jersey governor is sleeping with now. [P6]
• Marc Jacobs will soon be neighbors with Daniel "Harry Potter" Radcliffe at 40 Mercer in SoHo. [Post]
• Vogue landed Michelle Obama for the cover, which the world knows thanks to a press release put out by the First Lady's hairdresser. [WWD]
• Sharon Stone will talk to Larry King, but she's way too good for his stand-in D.L. Hughley. Too much Change in one night, apparently. [P6]
• George Clooney will be the prettiest doctor in America one last time, on E.R. It's a "secret." [People]

One running theme of the evening was guessing what the "L" in "Samuel L. Jackson" stands for...In perhaps the most bizarre tribute, Stone strutted onstage and, with her hands on her hips, purred words such as "Luscious," "L'amour," "Ladies love Samuel L. Jackson" — and breathlessly told a story about seeing Jackson "nekkid" in a movie and then trying to talk to him at a premiere. She eventually got serious, talking about the moral compass he brings to his characters, and saying that the "L" stood for "Legend."

Sadly, a flashing light indicating that Stone should wrap it up meant that she never had a chance to use her runners-up in the initial derby, which included "Laser skin resurfacing," "Licentious cougar," and "Laotian Chinese who brought devastation upon themselves." Next time!

• Cinematheque honors Samuel L. Jackson [Yahoo]

Sure enough, it was Sharon having a leisurely lunch with a friend. Sharon looked fresh faced and relaxed. She's very pretty in person. My friend and I ate our lunch, asked for the check, and sat for a bit longer to chat. I looked up and who should I see walking around the corner but ELLEN PAGE looking hipster-y in a black and white checkered scarf, t-shirt and skinny jeans. She was with a waif-ish dude who was wearing Risky Business sunglasses. They were moving fast toward the parking lot behind Hugo's. Ellen looked a little tired. Maybe she was heading home for a nap? Two great sightings in one meal, and all we had to do was sit there! Sharon was still lunching when we left. [Hollywood PrivacyWatch is written by and for Defamer readers; send your sightings to tips@defamer.com.]

Boomp3.com

Die hard Beatles and botox fan Sharon Stone washed away the drama of the week’s events with a nice tall glass of Pellegrino at lunch with a friend on Thursday. Stone believed it was perfect okay to have a glass of the Italian mineral water with her meal. Stone said, “One glass isn’t going to kill me. If anything, it’s going to make me healthier with all those minerals and stuff.”

[Photo Credit: Flynet]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

And then the court says, "Another example of an overreaction is that Mother suggested that Roan should have Botox injections in his feet to resolve a problem he had with foot odor. As Father appropriately noted, the simple and common sense approach of making sure Roan wore socks with his shoes and used foot deodorant corrected the odor problem without the need for any invasive procedure on this young child."

...The judge goes on: "Unfortunately, the problem caused by Mother's overreactions is painfully real for this child."

Of course, Stone was simply passing on a red carpet trick known by most actresses: a couple shots of Botox under the arms, and you can avoid pulling a humiliating "Meg Ryan" in public. Sure, mere socks may accomplish the same thing, but would those qualify Stone for the family discount with Dr. Lipschitz?

[Photo Credit: AP]

• Judge Says Stone Wanted to Botox Her Kid [TMZ]

But we almost wish he had. According to court documents, His Honor simply thought it’d be better for Roan if he were to continue going to school in San Francisco instead of moving to LA with his mom; staying with Bronstein will “provide a more structured continuity, stable, secure and consistent home that...Roan needs.” Stone’s lawyer Martin Singer, of course, was quick to point out that this decision has nothing to do with her fitness as a mother. After all, she is still retaining custody of her two adopted children. And if Stone decides to move to San Francisco, the decision can be reversed.

So while Stone may remain crazy, this scenario appears to be unrelated, maybe even resolvable. For once, a Stone story sounds perfectly reasonable to us.

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

• Sharon Stone Schooled in Custody Deal [E! News]

• Angelina Jolie supposedly threatened to leave Brad Pitt because he was never home at their filthy French chateau with the six kids. God knows why. [Sun]
• Tina Fey got her purse back! Sarah Palin had it. [Showbiz Spy]
• Lindsay Lohan responded to her publicity-seeking father saying Lohan's girlfriend Samantha Ronson was "dark, hideous and... disgusting." Lohan said her dad "obviously needs to be on medication." [P6]
• Sad Hugh Hefner is losing two out of his three "girlfriends." He's still got the married one. [P6]
• Boy George to George Michael: "Get yourself clean." By George, he's right! [Mirror]
• Beverly Hills is too noisy and dense for Britney Spears, and that's just from the Ed McMahon visits. HEY-OH! [E!]
• Sharon Stone lost her adopted son to her ex-husband Phil Bronstein, the newspaper editor. [Sun]

"Sharon called him and he showed the caller ID to everyone," a source tells the mag. "She's really into him and even asked him to come with her to Mexico."

Pictured below is Dreyfus contemplating the offer: "On the one hand, Mexico sounds totally fun, as Sharon has all the vitality and sexual stamina of women half her age, enhanced by the confidence and wisdom that comes along with that. On the other hand, that Brazilian cocktail waitress with the ass that just won't quit seems less likely to stab me with a pair of kitchen scissors if I try to break up with her. I'm so torn!"

[Photo credit: X17]

• Sharon Stone’s new boy toy [In Touch]

boomp3.com

'90s icon Sharon Stone attempted to use her star power to talk he way out of a parking ticket. Stone said, "Usually, I could just get away with an autograph head shot or my charming smile. But with this generation of meter maids, they always want a little more than you're willing to offer. Nobody wants a ticket, but I'm not going to do that to get out of it. I'm not that desperate." After serving Stone with her ticket, the meter maid explained why she turned the offer for a signed headshot. The parking enforcement officer said, "I already have her autograph. I already have a lot of autographs. The walls of my bonus room look like a dry cleaner's with all of the headshots. I'm got enough Sharon Stones. I need some Hills cast members though."

[Photo Credit: Splash Pic]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.

[Photo Credits: The Makeup Gallery]

• Hollywood sweetheart Meg Ryan gains ten stone... after donning a fat suit [Daily Mail]

Ingrid Newkirk, the president of PETA, writes:

"Given that millions of people... were killed, injured, and left homeless by the recent earthquake in China, everyone was shocked to hear you dismiss the devastating effects of this disaster.

"However, your cavalier attitude did not come as a surprise to us. We are used to the indifference that you flaunt and the callous remarks that you make about the suffering and death of the animals whose fur you wear so often.

"Scientific studies suggest that the prefrontal regions of the brains of people who lack empathy might be underdeveloped. Here's our offer: Would you allow PETA to pay for a scan of the prefrontal region of your brain to determine if comments and actions that seem to demonstrate a lack of empathy are the result of a physical defect?"

Maybe PETA is onto something here. After all, the actress did suffer a brain hemorrhage in 2001. Could that be what's causing her to do things like accuse P. Diddy of spending all his money on crack? Eh, probably not. She was pretty nuts before 2001 as well. Looks like PETA has their work cut out for them.

• SHARON STONE - PETA OFFERS STONE A BRAIN SCAN [Contact Music]

In today's installment: Cameron Diaz, Katherine Heigl, Vince Vaughn, Pam Anderson, Sharon Stone, Dave Chappelle, Corey Feldman, Jonah Hill, Eric Mabius, Eli Roth, Pete Wentz, Dane Cook, Fabio, Tim Robbins, Bo Derek, Bret McKenzie, Lucy Liu, Tara Reid, Rachel Zoe, JC Chasez, T.R. Knight, Jonny Lee Miller and Angelyne!

MONDAY, JUNE 16
· Went to the Grove to see a movie when I noticed a tall dark haired man making out with a pretty young blonde who didn't look a day over 18. After a couple takes I realized it was creepy horror film director Eli Roth. He looks more attractive in person, I must admit. He and the young blonde went into The Happening. From what I have gathered, they both seemed really uninterested in the movie (which was horrible by the way) and more interested in sucking face. Maybe because his girlfriend is in high school, she's used to hooking up in movie theaters?

THURSDAY, JUNE 19
· Driving north on La Brea from Slauson I saw in the passenger seat of the car behind me the unmistakable head of Jonah Hill (Feldstein). I changed one lane over so I could see him from the side. He seemed to be annoyed by my pointing at him and had the driver of the car (female) look over at me to laugh. I was just wondering what he was doing so far south...

FRIDAY, JUNE 20
· Pam Anderson was taking in the Dodgers/Indians game in the Dugout seats tonight. She was with her 2 boys, who looked just old enough for their friends to tell them there's a video on the internet of their dad driving a boat with his penis. Also, a goateed Ben Silverman sitting nearby dressed like a 15-year old, with some girl.

· Saw Tara Reid eating lunch with two European looking types at that French cheese place in the old Farmers Market on Fairfax. Damn, that girl looked cute and smiled at my tow headed kid. Really, she was eating.

SATURDAY, JUNE 21
· Saw Cameron Diaz at Home Restaurant on Hillhurst enjoying some outdoor Saturday afternoon brunch. She had hashbrowns on her plate! Skinny celebs eat real food! How?! Honestly though, she was looking good.

· In the midst of the heat wave, Flight of the Conchords' Bret McKenzie (a.k.a., the cute one) at The Waffle on Sunset, huddled in a booth with five or six friends. Couldn't see what he was eating.

SUNDAY, JUNE 22
· Last night, at Swinger's cafe, saw Dave Chappelle eating dinner outside with a male friend. They had quite a spread going w/ french toast, waffles, and milkshakes. The kind of dinner one might order after some "happy cigarettes." ;) Chappelle seemed in a lively mood, walking around and chatting with a few people. He looked good. I wish he'd get back on TV.

· I know it's been forever, but I had to contribute: Was at the beach all day today, escaping the god awful heat, and wandered around as Will Rogers Beach emptied around sunset... and I see an adorable Eric Mabius carrying his adorable son piggyback around the beach... priceless. Maybe celebrities are not all horrible people.

MONDAY, JUNE 23
· Saw Vince Vaughn at the Greek for the Robert Plant/Allison Krauss show. He was exchanging pleasantries with Ray director and Mr. Helen Mirren, Taylor Hackford. I like to think they were discussing a possible Fred Claus 2 in which Vince's character is rendered blind after seeing Fred Claus and becomes the most beloved blues singer in the North Pole. Saw a fan come up to tell Vince how much he likes his work and Vince took some time to chat. That was so money.

· Pete Wentz at LAFF's Monday night sold-out showing of Choke. He stayed until Clark Gregg and surprise guest Chuck Palahniuk finished their Q and A, trying to get out quickly before the audience rush. At first just thought, "hmm, that little man looks like Pete Wentz" until he took a picture with a fan. Dude is WEE, but I thought it was cool he stayed for the Q and A and didn't act like a dick about pictures. My standards are so low.

TUESDAY, JUNE 24
· I saw Rachel Zoe looking as angry as crushed velvet leaving the post-premiere party for The Wackness at the W in Westwood. Was she denied entry or was it just what I was wearing?

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 25
· At George Michael's show at the Forum, there was a delectable mix of celebs in the Forum Club during intermission and after the show. You had the older actresses in Bo Derek and Sharon Stone, tv hostesses in Daisy Fuentes & Debbie Matenopoulous, former boy bander in JC Chasez, Eli Stone himself Jonny Lee Miller & his pregnant fiance (wife?) Michelle Hicks, & most importantly Corey Feldman. Corey walked around with his enormous sunglasses around while dragging around his wife by the hand just looking for attention.

THURSDAY, JUNE 26
· Pete Wentz hiding his face and pretending like I cared who he was at the Rite Aid on Fairfax and Sunset. Considered following him to see what he was buying, but then I was distracted by something much more interesting: Kleenex.

· While waiting for an elevator in the 8000 Sunset parking garage, one finally arrived and produced ape-comic Dane Cook and one of his "bros", fresh from a work-out at Crunch.

SATURDAY, JUNE 28
· 1000 year old Angelyne was pulled over in front of my loft 5 minutes ago on Cahuenga and Melrose. They searched her trunk. Another squad car pulled up to join the search!!

· Just saw Fabio @ Equinox on Sunset. If only I knew George Clooney's number, I could have texted him to come over and beat him up.

TUESDAY, JULY 1
· As I was leaving the Arclight after the horriblenessness that is Wanted (seriously, the Loom of Fate?!?!), saw Katherine Heigl and her hags, T.R. Knight and his ward, Mark Cornelson, leaving. She was trying to go incognito wearing glasses, but looked very fit. T.R. and the ward looked pretty gay and short. No sign of lapdog, Josh Kelley.

UNDATED
· It was actually a couple of weeks ago...walking down Franklin Ave on my way to Mayfair Market, I saw none other than Fabio himself, sitting at that little Japanese restaurant. Hair: still luxurious, but not as long as in his heyday.

· Two weeks ago, spotted Tim Robbins at Kika sushi on Larchmont. Let me just say, he is hot. Sarandon is a lucky lady! Side note: I happened to catch Robbins' stage production of 1984 this
weekend, which is fantastic.

· A few weeks ago, I saw Lucy Liu with a male companion at Vegan Glory, this random little cafe in a mini-mall by house. She looked beautiful, as always.

• Oprah Winfrey said Barack Obama's victory made her do "the happy dance all day." And she's totally ready to piss off more viewers by campaigning for him again. [Showbiz Spy]
• After giving her new allies at the Post an exclusive rundown on her recent drug bust and visit to Alcoholics Anonymous, Tatum O'Neal clams up to the Daily News. On AA: "Well, it's anonymous. I'd prefer to keep it that way!" [R&M]
• The big Calvin Klein/Eva Mendes party above Heath Ledger's apartment was broken up by the building's owners. [TMZ]
• The young Republicans are fighting to save poor Bruce Willis from some dirty hippies. Or as the Post oh-so-clevery calls them, "slacktivists." [P6]
• Even though Sharon Stone apologized once, already, for saying China's recent earthquake was the result of bad karma from Chinese rule in Tibet, she still has been banned from the Shanghai International Film Festival. So she tried apologizing a second time.
• Brad Pitt bought a $300,000 table and $175-per-square-foot rug — not despite the fact that he has twin babies on the way, but because he has twin babies on the way. Between the new ones and Jolie's 47 other children, the new furniture should be covered in crayons and bodily fluids within a week. But, given the provenance of the children, maybe it will actually increase in value. [P6]