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Gross Photos of Real German Food
Food Is Not Always As Advertised

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HurtsSoGood
10/01/09

In reply to Gross Photos of Real German Food
The fleischsalat (lunchmeat salad) is visible through the container. You can plainly see that there's a lot more mayonnaise in it than the label implies.

And I guess some Germans really do like herring in mustard and cheese sauce. I prefer mine pickled with sour cream an onions, but that's me.

But let's face it. Processed food seldom lives up to its billing, no matter where you got it.
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uncivilly obedient
09/23/09

In reply to Gross Photos of Real German Food
They forgot a good one: Obama Fingers
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HurtsSoGood
10/01/09

@uncivilly obedient: Except there is no attempt at lampooning the President, like some Americans have done. Unlike the previous President, our neighbors overseas actually like President Obama.
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NigelAstydameia
09/23/09

In reply to Gross Photos of Real German Food
In fairness, the real foods don't look like their photos but taste exactly the same.
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Paul_Is_Drunk
09/23/09

In reply to Gross Photos of Real German Food
Having lived in Germany, I have to say... some of that stuff looks damned delicious!

Don't knock it, 'til you try it. I'm sure our American cuisine (and we do have one) must look odd to first timers as well.
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monoverb
09/23/09

In reply to Gross Photos of Real German Food
Nearly as good as LesbianOrGermanTourist.com
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lafleur
09/23/09

@monoverb: Tease!
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SanjivaniChrysippus
09/23/09

In reply to Gross Photos of Real German Food
Ach, Martin Luther and the diet of worms now makes sense.
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TheBusinessGuy
09/23/09

In reply to Gross Photos of Real German Food
Ve haf vays of making you eat.
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Mike Byhoff
09/23/09

In reply to Gross Photos of Real German Food
Achtung, gravy.
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Smitros
09/23/09

In reply to Gross Photos of Real German Food
Ich bin ein whatthehellisthat?
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iplaudius
09/23/09

In reply to Gross Photos of Real German Food
Nothing wrong with that last one, Fleischsalat: to make it look right, you first have to toss the meat salad.
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Mike Byhoff
09/23/09

In reply to Gross Photos of Real German Food
Realität? I am unbelievably lost on this one.
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snugbug
09/23/09

In reply to Gross Photos of Real German Food
Whatever. The tinned herring with mustard-egg sauce is pretty tasty. I actually like that brand. It also helps to know that the tiniest street-corner mart has better-tasting produce than the organic section at Whole Foods. No way is this pre-packaged/tinned/bottled-up mix crap representative of the Euro food spectrum. On the whole, people eat five times better o'er here than Americans.
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page3
09/23/09

@snugbug: Where exactly is "o'er here"?
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snugbug
09/23/09

@page3: Germany.
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page3
09/23/09

@snugbug: Had to ask before I said much more. I've spent enough time in Europe to know that your comment is a bit overdone. To be fair, the tiniest street-corner mart in America generally has better produce than Whole Foods too.
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snugbug
09/23/09

@page3: If you're talking about roadside farm produce stands in rural California, by all heck yes. Otherwise I respectfully disagree. Check the labels on the produce at your street-corner mart--they're most likely grown in Chile, China, or Mexico + waxed to expand their shelf life. Even "eco-friendly" Trader Joe's sells you cucumbers from Chile and edamame from China. It's a sad situation. I don't claim to have an immediate solution, but we are DOIN IT RONG in this country.
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Edited by snugbug at 09/23/09 1:37 PM snugbug was starred snugbug was unstarred

page3
09/23/09

@snugbug: I think my comment was more anti Whole Foods than pro corner market. It's just that I ate a lot of lousy stuff in Europe too. I dare you to identify the swirling meat being served outside of every subway station in Moscow. If you can maneuver past the gypsies.
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Cagliostro
09/23/09

In reply to Gross Photos of Real German Food
This stuff tastes nastier than it looks, but for really hideous-looking cuisine, it's hard to beat Mexican food.
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Smitros
09/23/09

@Cagliostro:
Examples?
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Cagliostro
09/23/09

@Smitros: Well, how about refried beans? And molè, chile relleno, a nice fat cheese enchilada sitting in a pool of green chile, etc.? While most of it is yummy, it certainly has the pre-eaten-looking food category nailed.
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Smitros
09/23/09

@Cagliostro:
I may be desensitized on that from long exposrue. But the colors area a plus.
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Spirit Fingers
09/23/09

In reply to Gross Photos of Real German Food
Well, I wonder. Judging from the picture, does the Fleischsalat come in a dry and wet version? Because if it does, the thought of it charging back up the esophagus with a mayo chaser would be the difference between riding it out at home and going to the ER to have it pumped out immediately.

And also, are they having a population problem in Germany? Just asking.
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blix
09/23/09

@Spirit Fingers: Lunch, who needs it?
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Spirit Fingers
09/23/09

@blix: You can thank HamNo for the vivid illustration of our every worst gastronomic nightmare. I just followed said trajectory to its natural conclusion. Now then, I'll never eat a chef salad again. Or visit a Ruby Tuesday's salad bar purely based on their penchant for ham cubes.
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RocketSurgeon
09/23/09

In reply to Gross Photos of Real German Food
Oh man. My man is German and I'm making my first visit there in December. I'm worried - but on the bright side, perhaps it'll be the only holiday season during which I've lost weight.
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BettyCrocker
09/23/09

@RocketSurgeon: Fret not. If you will be in the countryside, you can expect lots of healthy fresh goodies. On the not-so-healthy side, any type of schnitzel is a treat.

Avoid Frankfurt - it's hell on earth.
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snugbug
09/23/09

@BettyCrocker: I second your Frankfurt (am Main) evaluation. It's that most "American" urb of all Germ cities, complete with such anomalies as skyscrapers and suburban wastelands (Offenbach). Schnitzel is an Austrian specialty, though. Plenty of Middleastern döner kebab-y/Turkish-type street food in Berlin, though. So yum and quite healthy, I think.
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Edited by snugbug at 09/23/09 12:36 PM snugbug was starred snugbug was unstarred

mbak
09/23/09

@snugbug: döner kebab is far, far, far from healthy. this past spring i was dirt poor and both my boyfriend and i lived off of a döner kebab per day from one of the local doneries (€2 for a meal that completely fills you). so much grease and cheese (and even though that's optional, c'mon, you want the cheese) and after two or three days in a row I would have to splurge and eat something else (like kinder bueno or mini pizzas) so that a) my skin would stop looking like a grease pool and b) i wouldn't feel like death.
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musicmope
09/23/09

@mbak: Living in the city of its origin, I have never seen cheese on a döner kebab, nor an Imbiß equipped with the ability to do so, Where were you buying these things?
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mbak
09/23/09

@musicmope: Kottbusser Tor, Kreuzberg, Berlin. I can't think of a doner stand in Berlin that doesn't have the ability to put feta onto a kebab, actually.
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snugbug
09/23/09

@mbak: Aww, sorry to hear that. I've never asked for the cheese option on döner kebabs--I obviously missed out. And those Kinder Überraschung Eie are the bomb. My friends' kiddies in the US go nuts over them, I buy them in bulk. They make the best, cheapest presents for a kid!
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snugbug
09/23/09

@mbak: Get OUTTA here! Kottbusser Tor is my U-Bahn stop. I'm on Reichenberger Straße--we must be neighbors?
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mbak
09/23/09

@snugbug: That's insane - I live on Paul-Lincke in the triangle between Kotti, Gorlitzer, and Schönleinstr. My go-to delivery place is the Pizza World on Reichenberger. Small world.
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snugbug
09/23/09

@mbak: We should perchance organize an expat beer-off at Ankerklause, aka my favorite crap dive in the 'hood? Gawker brings people together! =)
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mbak
09/23/09

@snugbug: As long as it isn't at the Rote Rose, I'm always game for a good time.
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pooks
09/23/09

@RocketSurgeon: I hope you like vinegar. I lived there for a year and almost everything is pickled. Granted, I'm a vegetarian, so my meals consisted of delicious things like pickled cabbage and pickled beets (which to this day, I cannot stand the sight of), but still... Essig (vinegar) is everywhere. It's that, or stuff that, literally translated means things like, "Swine flesh," "blood sausage," and "head cheese." The whole country also has a bizarre thing for sour cherries-- the students in my dorm used to eat them by the jarful. Ugh.
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blix
09/23/09

@pooks: Has everybody been to Germany?
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snugbug
09/23/09

@blix: Berlin is IT, baby. Bohemian bonanza, like NYC in the '70s.
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snugbug
09/23/09

@pooks: What is bizarre about Sauerkirsche? They're fucking delicious. They're the punkrock version of cherries. Soooo yummy in a compote served next to a Schweinebraten, or even better, eaten fresh + raw.
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Edited by snugbug at 09/23/09 2:22 PM snugbug was starred snugbug was unstarred

RocketSurgeon
09/23/09

@pooks: I lived in England for a year and a half, so I'm familiar with the nastier European delicacies (blood sausage, ew). Most pickled things I'm fine with, though I draw the line at pigs' feet. Hopefully his mom is a good cook and doesn't believe that every dish is made better with herring.
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FitnessMadeSimple
09/23/09

@snugbug: I spent a month in Berlin in 2000 and had döners a couple of times a day, nearly every day...and sadly, never saw a place that offered the cheese option :(

...but they were amazing nonetheless. The street meat versions here are the closest I've found in America in terms of quality, but nothing over here is as good as the real thing.
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pooks
09/23/09

@snugbug: Maybe it was just the volume they ate that turned me off. Well that, and the idea that if I attempted to do the same, I'd be in gastro-intestinal distress for days.
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SwissHalo
09/24/09

@blix: Five years in Munich and a village near Passau! And yes: Berlin is IT. Food: so fresh in the country. You don't have to eat poorly in the cities either (and funny package brands can be good). And the coffee is far better than in the US, yes?!
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