For what seems like one million years now, media outlets have gleefully reported that America is full of sex-hungry cougar women, chasing young men down and sucking them dry. Minor correction: turns out that's not true.

How many discredited former Bush White House officials can one newspaper publish? Fred Hiatt is collecting them like Pokemon. Marc Thiessen, Bush speechwriter and torture enthusiast, will be writing a weekly column for The World's Worst Opinion Section.

ABC News reports that John and Elizabeth Edwards are "legally separated." Not divorced, yet. FYI. Also omg a big ol' iPhone! What a weird time to announce your separation from your wife—who will even notice?

A new USA Today/Gallup poll found that 71% of Republicans would likely vote for Sarah Palin if she ran for president in 2012. Three-fourths of Republicans polled also believe Palin has been treated unfairly by the media. [USA Today]

As it lurches toward us, metal gears clanking and whirring like Larry King at a mixer, early reviews of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen come trickling in. The word? Basically it's loud and garish and, worst of all, not fun.

Should you, the Average Joe Schmoe Loser Nobody "Little Person," be allowed to see all the dirty details of a rich, famous person's divorce? Rich, famous people do not think that you should, surprisingly!

We don't know what's more indicative of a total lack of taste: the fact that Rock Star Games is passing out a big foam hand in the shape of "The Shocker" to promote their new Grand Theft Auto release, or that this would cause College Humor co-founder Ricky Van Veen to publicly assert his very own personal patent on…

Remember singlefiers, those telltalle signs of a lady's self- and other-unlovedness that clutter up her apartment? Well, it turns out that something-or-other At Large Julia Allison can tick quite a few of them off the list we all made yesterday. Is our Julia having a bit of a dry spell? Any eventual gentleman callers…