Last week we asked for your suggestions of what "books" (i.e. ancient Kindles made of wood pulp and ink and with the capacity to store only one title) to get your loved ones for Christmas. Here are some of your suggestions.

Last week, we asked you what to buy for those members of the "Millennial" generation who ironically hate everything. Remember? Sure you do. Well then: here are five good ideas. Buy them or not, whatever. Everything sucks.

If you are reading these words, congratulations! You made it through Black Friday unscathed. (Or you landed in a hospital that offers wifi, in which case: congratulations on being rich.)

With Black Friday a mere three days away (two, if you go by Target's definition of "Friday"), many people are already feeling overwhelmed at the prospect of leaving their homes, walking into a store, and purchasing the goods they find therein.

The American mall is dying, and dying, and, let me check... yep, still dying. Not just big huge malls, but big-box stores, and strip malls, and everything else that consists of chain stores shaped like boxes, made out of plastic, selling crap. America, in other words. Now our national landscape is littered with the…

There is an official Romney/ Ryan souvenir store in the Tampa Bay Times Forum, where the convention is being held. It's a store that would normally be selling Tampa Bay Lightning shirts and whatnot, but now it's selling souvenirs to people with poor taste who may not even like hockey.

It appears that Wal-Mart has turned around its two-year long sales slide that seemed, momentarily, to mark the end of America's love affair with big box bottom-feeding. Same-store sales have now risen for four straight quarters, overseas sales are growing, and the company is once again dominant enough to be considered…

Most humans possessing a first-grade education—including precocious preschoolers—are well aware that shopping malls, once a glassy symbol of American cultural homogeny, are as dead as MusicLand. Dead-dead. And those that are not dead are dying. And the ones that already died are coming back as anything but malls.…

Corporate America knows that the key characteristic of you, the consumer, is this: you are a liar. You lie to your wife. You lie to your boss. And, worst of all, you lie to corporate America survey-takers whose job it is to determine what you like so that corporate America can sell that thing to you. What do you…

The latest front in America's whorish War on Decency could be as close as the drug store aisle. Our nation's Pandora-like women, outfitted in buttocks-baring short shorts as they prowl the landscape for the "good time" Appletini party boy of the night, now demand the right to have unspeakable varieties of grossly…

I've never been to Greece, or to one of those "fancy" grocery stores, but that doesn't stop me from being an expert on Greek yogurt, excluding the kinds actually made in Greece and the kinds sold in "fancy" grocery stores. Real American Greek yogurt, is what I'm talking about. And if there's one thing I know besides…

Are you the type of person who buys experiences, or the type of person who buys things? You're the type of person who buys Funyuns. Yes, we know. But what you do with those Funyuns reveals whether or not you are a huge jerk.

Whole Foods, the grocery store for pretentious upper class urbanites and those who aspire to be same, wants to make it clear to the world that it is not a grocery store for pretentious upper class urbanites. Not at all. What gave you that idea?

With a $100 million fortune made from selling miniature ceramic houses, Ed Bazinet is one of New York's richest men. His TriBeCa apartment is worth $28 million, and he was featured Richistan, Robert Frank's 2007 book about the super-wealthy. Two weeks ago, he suffered a manic break and purchased a whopping $20 million…

An intriguing exclusive in The New York Times claims that many people shop on the internet... while drunk. Is it true? That's not for us to say—we're just here to help! What will you purchase, next time you are trawling eBay and Amazon while you're drunk?

Where to begin with today's Chicago Tribune story "More men taking the reins of the cart"? Perhaps with Danny Meyer, a 35-year-old brand manager, who, we are told, "shops on his own":

Minnesota's giant shrine to the gods of mass retail, the Mall of America, erupted into a 200-person melee last night. Thirty police stormed the premises, putting the entire mall on a temporary lockdown. The mallrats are rebelling!

As Manhattan's holiday shopping frenzy approaches fever pitch, the fashionista blogosphere has noticed a disturbing trend: A giant line. Outside the UGG store.

The economy is crappier than a Porta-Potty at an outdoor electronic dance music festival. We've all got to pinch pennies, and the holidays are no exception. So, we present our top five gifts under five cents.

The sickie sticking needles in clothes at Georgia Wal-Marts is still at it: TSG reports a syringe was found in men's pajama bottoms, and yet another in a man's "lounging pant." (Does Wal-Mart carry any pants without elastic waistbands?)