Nail polish: a weird product that girls buy. We may never know why. What we do know, thanks to actual statistics, is this: the Great Nail Polish Bubble of 2012 has burst. What gives, nailpersons?

A man who was fed up with his girlfriend's incessant Christmas shopping responded to her request for one more look around a mall shoe store by leaping seven floors to his death.

It's Black Friday 2013 and Walmart sales are up, Walmart shoppers are down, online sales continue to grow, and the working poor can't even afford to buy the discounted goods they're selling. No matter where you are in the United States, it's hard to escape the reach of the shopping madness, something everyone pretends…

Black Friday, the appropriately named day of mourning for the last vestiges of America's soul, grows ever larger. We shuddered when we heard one mall was starting at 8 p.m. on Thanksgiving day. Naturally, Wal-Mart's plans are worse.

With the exception of the erosion of personal privacy and the growth of an ultra-powerful unaccountable economic elite over the course of several decades which we didn't notice because football was on, you can't put too much past Americans. Those Cocoa Puffs... are they natural? Don't try to fool us!

With each passing year, it seems, American retailers find some way to make to make "Black Friday," the terrifying shopping day after Thanksgiving, a worse experience for their poor employees. This year is no exception.

It's easy to get cheap designer clothing on this site—but even easier to get sucked into its scam and lose hundreds of dollars.

Haha, would you believe me if I told you that Whole Foods, the grocery store of Wealthy Housewives On Their Way to Yoga Who Just Need a $12.99 Juice, is still trying to convince America that it is not an "expensive" grocery store? What's the big joke, guys?

If the school bell has finally sounded for the final time and the kids are gleefully preparing for several long, hot months of family road trips and spilled frozen dairy dessert substances, it can only mean one thing: time to start your back-to-school shopping now. Now. There is no respite in this world of gloom.

America, a nation composed primarily of suckers, is always ready to fall headfirst for this or that new "health trend." Some are outright scams, while others are merely true facts that have been manipulate to render them indistinguishable from scams in practice. Behold: protein.

Buzz Bissinger is having a sexual midlife crisis. The Pulitzer Prize-winning author of Friday Night Lights stopped having sex with his wife "several years ago," he writes, and "began to wonder about sex and sexuality and where exactly I fit in in the complex spectrum." He started experimenting with sex with men, in…

In the olden days, if you wanted to buy some pants, you'd go to the clothing store (which was the same as the hardware store, and the pharmacy) and pick out some god damn pants, and buy them, and take them home. Now, thanks to wonders of technology, we live in a time when it is possible to go to the clothing store,…

As of today, Christmas is only two weeks away, which means that we only have 54 more shopping weeks until next Christmas.

Have you ever shopped at a "Fresh & Easy?" No, me neither. (If you said "yes," you are an outlier, you are not representative, do not answer any more rhetorical questions.) You probably haven't shopped there because Fresh & Easy has "a novel store format that is bigger than a convenience store but smaller than a…

In the words of Margaret Cho, you got a cool mommy. In the words of RuPaul, so don't fuck it up. Some of the best answers from last week's post about gifts for cool parents are below:

Last week on Black Friday, we asked you to suggest gifts for cat caretakers who post their feline friends on Instagram, but aren't stereotypically sad lonely weirdos. Many of you were too busy buying cases of discounted Furbies or doing something stupid with your families and didn't bother to help us and I'll have you…

Last week, we asked you how you reconcile the precarious position of having to buy a gift for someone you hate. This was a joke question that brought out a lot of truth, which was nice. Thank you for sharing your stories and suggestions. I do not hate you for that and would buy you a straightforwardly nice gift if I…

Last week we asked you to give us some gift ideas for rational people, otherwise known as adults who are well aware that buying gifts for people other than children around the holidays is a waste of everybody's time, money, and good nature. Here are some of your suggestions for gift haters.