It only took a huge exposé, but the president of Jersey City's police union has decided that maybe officers should face more rigorous testing for anabolic steroids after hundreds of Jersey cops were implicated in an illegal 'roid ring. [Star-Ledger]

Twenty-five workers at a labor camp in Goregaon, India, claim their penises have inexplicably begun shrinking and retracting into their bodies. The men have been treating the condition by sitting in ice-cold bathtubs. This might be the problem! (via)

Post-Atonement Ian McEwan wrote a satirical global-warming thriller wherein a man tries to pee outdoors in -26F Norway, then experiences shrinkage so severe his dick turns into a frosty popsicle, cracks, and slips out the leg of his pants.