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America Breaks New Year's Resolution Again
| posts about #shucks more → |
America Breaks New Year's Resolution Again |
07/01/09
At least in L.A. the human eating monsters stay in their cars and eat and you don't have to bother with them. I seriously don't know how you New Yorkers can stand it, you're a tough bunch.
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Oh, New York, why can't you figure out how to do them right?! You're breaking my heart.
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07/01/09
1) Biscuits (these work as wonderful gravy dams on your plate if you need to keep something gravy free, but who am I kidding, my Thanksgiving day plate has a moat of gravy love from anchor to shore. What's mashed potatoes without a dollop or seven of gravy? What I ask you?)
2) Fries (of course)
3) Chicken Fried Steak (naturally)
4) Meat Loaf (to not would be unholy)
5) Stuffing (any kind of bread + gravy = goo-ood.
6) Pork Chops (pigs would eat themselves with gravy, surely)
7) Collard Greens (living dangerously. You would think vegetables and creamy, fatty, goodness would be forbidden. Actually no.)
8) Rice (well, rice always needs something)
9) Macaroni & Cheese (because bread crumbs are blasphemy, but some of you know that already)
10) Any and everything that once had a pulse, or had a root in the ground.
Don't mock me. Gravy should come in little travel packets like ketchup or hot sauce. Wait, that's a good idea...
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@HiredGoons: Oh, don't tempt me, Goons. I maintain that shoelaces would be good with gravy, you think a little baby leg would stop me?
@hamburgerhotdog: That, my friend, may be the most sinful thing ever uttered. And damn! All the money I could'a made. Geniuses.
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Thats one reason why poor people in America are more overweight.
Its kind of ironic that in America the poor people are fat and the rich people stay thin (generally). Quite the opposite where I come from.
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07/01/09
What's this about Colorado being the slenderest state? NO! That can't be.. I argue my home state of Cali-freaking-fornication is IT. Oh, and PS? We supply the rest of you, US, with fruits and veggies and nuts. Where's the gratitude? LOL!
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07/01/09
I'm not in the mood to pay for Mississippians' eating customs.
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@Muggs Bigglesworth: I think about it all of the time. Bad health habits translate to a financial drain on the system. I'm really not interested in the government literally crawling up our asses with a microscope, but if I pay for your healthcare, then yes, I'm going to want to have a look around your colon. I'd actually prefer someone else do that.
07/01/09
*rubs hands together in a mad-with-power way*
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Geez, no wonder we're freakin' fat.
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