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Shut Up, Brooklyn
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Hipsters
Deep In The Heart Of Nilla Brooklyn
Bushwick, Brooklyn was once a minority neighborhood. Really! Recently, a bunch of hipsters have moved in there. But here's a secret: Bushwick is still a minority neighborhood. It even has ten separate housing projects, which are not full of whites! But Brooklyn's minorities are boring, because they're hardly on the cutting edge of art, culture, or cheap imported beer. So when Paper Magazine set out this month to answer the head-scratchingly inane question “Can the hipster ghettos of Brooklyn really replace Manhattan?", they took the logical step of including only the relevant people in the neighborhood: tattooed nilla hipsters. Check out these scans of the magazine's photo shoot and play "Guess the area's demographics": More »
crusades
Brooklynite Denied Iced Espresso, Media Firestorm Ensues
What does it take to get an executive from the freaking cable company royally pissed about customer service? How about a Washington, DC-area coffee shop that refused to serve him a simple. God. Damned. Iced. ESPRESSO? And that told him, "if you ever show your face at my shop, I'll punch you in your dick?" As you might imagine, a 32-year-old New Yorker subjected to such depravities in Arlington, VA or where-the-hell-ever does not simply swallow such BULL shit and move on — he blogs about it! Come read about this horrible thing that happened to Jeff "The Iceman" Simmermon, and how he got it onto Boing Boing, Metafilter, the Washington Post and, this morning, into the New York Post. More »
Politics
Dave Chappelle Fundraiser Turns Out Even Worse Than You Could Imagine
Bad news for Real World cast member-turned Congressional candidate (D-Pop Culture) Kevin Powell: Dave Chappelle totally spaced out on Powell's fundraiser in Brooklyn last night, costing him the crucial Chappelle-fan vote! The comedian was supposed to headline the fundraising show, but never appeared, possibly because he is crazy. Then Chris Rock refused to go on too, in solidarity! And it only got worse for Powell: a drunk journalist, for chrissake, tried to grab the mic and steal the show [UPDATE: And there's a video!]: More »
Whitman-World
Before we had to ask Brookyn to "shut up" due to an influx of preciousness, Jonathan Safran Foer, and five-dollar organic cookies, poet Walt Whitman lived there—way back in the 1850s. Whitman's Brooklyn shows you around his 'hood.
Brooklyn Blog Narcs On Crack House
"'At the end of the day, it was about putting aside anonymity, putting aside the HTML and physically showing up,' said Jason Miller, 37, the pet shop owner, better known to many as PetShopBoy, his login name on BayRidgeTalk.com." [Times]
"'At the end of the day, it was about putting aside anonymity, putting aside the HTML and physically showing up,' said Jason Miller, 37, the pet shop owner, better known to many as PetShopBoy, his login name on BayRidgeTalk.com." [Times]
One Full Pack Of Anything But Newports, Please
"In Bedford-Stuyvesant, a glitzy housing complex has risen in a neighborhood where cigarettes often get sold singly. It's a test of coexistence." Yuppies and loosies together? That'll be the day. [LAT]
"In Bedford-Stuyvesant, a glitzy housing complex has risen in a neighborhood where cigarettes often get sold singly. It's a test of coexistence." Yuppies and loosies together? That'll be the day. [LAT]
Julia Allison To Brooklyn?
She lost her $125k/year Star gig, now the protocelebrity is eyeing a low-rent borough: "I think I want to live in Brooklyn. I never thought I'd say that." [Julia Allison]
She lost her $125k/year Star gig, now the protocelebrity is eyeing a low-rent borough: "I think I want to live in Brooklyn. I never thought I'd say that." [Julia Allison]
Gentrification
Prepare To Be Robbed, IKEA Customers
The first-ever IKEA store is opening in the borough of Brooklyn tomorrow, a development which has the local media all atwitter. Close to 40 people have lined up for the chance to be the first ones in the rapidly gentrifying Red Hook neighborhood to buy mass-produced Swedish furniture. To celebrate the occasion, the gruff and hilarious Park Slope guy who goes by the name of Blognigger (just to make you uncomfortable) has posted his own Onion-esque take: "Red Hook Blacks Line Up to Rob First 100 IKEA Customers." But he doesn't forget to make the scheduled robberies a multicultural endeavor for the Curbed.com-reading gentrifiers themselves, too: More »
shut up, brooklyn
When a Hipster Bar Becomes a Prison
Seriously, how wasted do you have to be to get locked in a Williamsburg bar? Pretty wasted! "Really wasted but super nice," one of the Trophy Bar's bartenders tells the New York Times. Anyway, he passed out in the bathroom around 4a.m. and everyone went home. He called multiple people for help, but they were total assholes about it:More »
shut up, college
Find Stuff In the Park and Eat It
Since we're already on the subject of edibles today: Wesleyan, the official most annoying liberal arts school in the country, has a New York Club. They're having an "Urban Edibles in Prospect Park" event. Finding things on the ground and putting them in your mouth? Oberlin would never get that hippie-ish. Click for the flyer! More »
shut up, brooklyn
Williamsburg Activity Guide Leaves Off 'Hating Everyone'
At least three staff members of the New York Observer live in Williamsburg, the Brooklyn neighborhood where every description was already a cliché like, ten years ago, dude. And they're determined to parlay their job at a somewhat relevant media outlet into some easy hipster sex this summer. So today they put together a long and infuriating package about living the post-college high life in "Williamsburg College." The two theses of the story are "Williamsburg does not blow!" and "it's not that different from college anyway." Only one of which is true. More »
gentrification
A Black Park Sloper's Thoughts on The Real World Brooklyn
We stumbled onto the words of an angry, succinct blogger who calls himself Blognigger; he's black and a software engineer and lives in Park Slope. He's at the forefront of several wars: he's black in America, and in a mostly-white neighborhood, which he will soon have to leave: "I make $106,000 a year, and I'm a pauper in Park Slope. No, literally - we have to leave. I have two kids and my rent has just been raised to $3500 a month. I've lived here since 1999 (when 5th avenue was still a total shithole), and now I'm going to have to uproot my family and move out of brooklyn... I can't afford to live here anymore without my wife doing online surveys and shit to supplement our income." But what are his thoughts on the Real World decamping to downtown Brooklyn for their upcoming season?More »
shut up, brooklyn
Is Dog-Walking While Vespa-Riding Bad? Probably.
Ruh roh! There's an quandary on Brooklyn Heights Blog about a dog-walker captured walking dogs... while simultaneously riding a Vespa. OK behavior? Egregious? What if they're also heading towards oncoming traffic? Click to judge. [Brooklyn Heights Blog]
craigslist
Hipster Kickballer Distracted by Missed Connection Cutie
Aww! The weekly hipster kickball saga in Williamsburg is bringing people together, sort of. A sad Craigslist poster implores a certain cute with bangs to stop showing up on game days: "you're far too distracting." (Click to enlarge.)
shut up, brooklyn
Hipster Kickballer Arrested for Brandishing a Sword in Macy's
In case you're not familiar, hundreds of hipsters gather every Sunday in Williamsburg to innocently have fun playing sports with their friends, drink beer, and act the fool. But
reality tv
Watch Your Backs In Brooklyn, Real World Wimps
The Times deployed its investigative resources to dig into the very important rumors that Real World: Brooklyn would be shot downtown rather than in, say, Williamsburg or Park Slope, and nudged the story a bit closer to confirmation. The owner of the downtown BellTel lofts seconded show producer MTV's earlier confirmation of negotiations, and this time there was no mention of other, white borough neighborhoods as alternatives to downtown. PR genius Ronn [sic] Torossian, who represents the developer of BellTel, tried to spin MTV's interest as a big validation for the neighborhood. But then the Times went talking to some of the locals, and they started asking why the cable network wants its fresh young stars getting mugged and so forth: More »
shut up, brooklyn
