-
science
College Kids All Racist In Their Own Special Ways
College: where drunk kids are guinea pigs for social science. The funnest college-kid studies involve race, because they make everyone uncomfortable! Now comes a new study of interracial college roommates that proves we're all terrible. A racial breakdown:
More » -
math
College: Waste of Time
Just like my high school history teacher told us, skipping college and getting a damn job instead is the smartest economic thing you could possibly do. Someone has proven it, using mathematics! More » -
recessionomics
Help Save College Students From The Dangerous Outside World!
The Way We Live Now: For the children. Well, for the kids. Well, for the college kids. They're kids, really. They need protection from this cruel, dirty world. And when the colleges go broke? Where will the kids go? More » -
trendwatch
Privileged Elites Offer Each Other Helping Hands
The players: Manhattan media playboy Jared Kushner's younger brother Joshua (pictured); Harvard students; rich people; and NYT faux-trend specialist Allen Salkin. It's a case where both an idea and the meta-coverage of the idea are equally enraging! More » -
shut up, college
Hippie School Bans Poors
Hippie-infested Reed College still boasts one of the best naked Slip-n-Slide celebrations in the greater Portland area, but guess what it does not boast, now: poors. Only hippies who can pay $50K a year are allowed! More » -
from the mailbag
Student-Professor Dust-Up at Columbia
Today was graduation at the Columbia Journalism School, and the ceremonies were tinged with regret. Not just because the news media is imploding, either: there's a mysterious flap involving a non-graduating student and a professor who supposedly breached "standards of communication." More » -
the rich
Stereotypical rich boy Jared Kushner is helping needy college kids get loans! Harvard kids only.
-
shut up, college
The Daily Show Visits Arizona State, 'The Harvard of Date Rape'
Arizona State University sparked a bit of controversy recently for refusing to bestow President Obama with an honorary degree at commencement ceremonies later today, so Jason Jones went down to investigate. Hilarity then ensued.
More » -
-
shut up, college
Womyn vs. Tucker Max in Battle of Annoyances
Which is more unbearable: Tucker Max, or Ohio State University student group Womyn and Allies Rising in Resistance (WaARiR)? Finally, they've met in a death match so we can find out! More » -
higher learning
Oprah Advises Grads: Get a Private Jet, Losers
American Poultry Queen Oprah Winfrey gave the commencement address to the starry-eyed, chickenless graduates of Duke University yesterday. Her message to them: I really love my private jet! More » -
Media Crack
White Supremacists Mock Your College Newspaper Articles
In your modernist Monday media column: Print porn gets desperate, Metro leaves America, reporters now work in coffee shops, and your dumb college newspaper articles are all on your permanent record: More » -
Kids win
Spectacularly unpopular New School president Bob Kerrey will quit in two years. Building occupations work!
-
shut up, college
New School to Issue Useless Report
In typical bureaucratic fashion, The New School has convened a committee to issue a formal report on the student takeover last month. Not addressed: Is this cop a huge dick, or what? [City Room] -
kids today
So Let's All Hate This Kid Now
Hey, New York wants you to know about this little budding interior designer kid, a senior at Drew College out in Jersey. He is a treat, if you're into really precocious youngsters. And aren't we? More » -
The Assimilator
Do We Really Need Universities, or Just the University of Phoenix?
Schools suck! And they're expensive! But who will teach us Twitter? Our discussion on education reform continues with fallen academic, but American Book Award winner, Jeff Chang and Macy Halford of The New Yorker's book-blog. More » -
The Assimilator
Do We Really Need Universities?
Mark C. Taylor, chairman of Columbia University's Religion department, started some shit. So much we need two posts to flush-it down properly. First up: Kate Perkins and Dan Kois. God can't save you now, Mark! More » -
school daze
NYU to Poors: Go Away
Did you know that it costs $54,000 to go to NYU for one year and learn how to be a failed revolutionary? Because of this, the school is "encouraging" poors to go fuck themselves. More » -
emergency porn
University of Maryland Will Screen Porn, Consequences and Everyone's Dignity Be Damned
Oh, good, some jackass in the Maryland State Senate threatening to withhold public funding from a major university for maybe playing a porno flick has become a TEACHABLE MOMENT. Join the Facebook group! More » -
shut up, college
Heroic State Senator Saves College Students From Porn
There's nothing dumber or more transparent than "ironically" watching a porn movie with your buddies for laughs. But college students need to learn this for themselves, Maryland State Senate! More » -
lower education
Learn to Twitter for Only $5,700 a Year
Birmingham City University is offering a year-long course in "social media": $5,700 for instruction on how to start a blog, record a podcast, and use Facebook, Twitter, and Bebo. Ridiculous, right? More » -
scandals
Cokey Coeds Corralled by Creepy Club Cops
A few months ago two Fashion Institute of Technology students were arrested for dealing coke, and they laughed about it, and were subsequently crucified in the tabloids. Now they're blaming hardworking, cock-referencing undercover police! More » -
kids these days
High school kids' top "Dream schools": Stanford, Harvard, and Columbia. Frat Party Aspirations Fail.
-
shut up, college
University of Minnesota Dance Program Devastatingly Exposed as 'Privileged'
In protest of "the ways in which conversations about institutional racism and white privilege have been mishandled and silenced within the [University of Minnesota Dance] department," anonymous activists have be-papered the department headquarters, provocatively: More » -
porn
The Appalachian Tackles the Cum Shot Issue
Appalachian State University's student paper The Appalachian has just kicked off its long-awaited four-part series on pornography, and it promises to be children's treasury of hilarity that we will follow closely. Today: Cum shot controversy. More » -
shut up, college
UCLA Students: James Franco Is an Academic Lightweight
Foolish idealists have banded together and formed a Facebook group protesting the University's choice to have honey-dipped actor James Franco as their keynote graduation speaker. Because looking at that mug for 30 minutes is torture. More » -
amazing
People Still Care About College Sex Mags
As long as college kids remain edgy, there will be college sex magazines. And as long as there are a few olds with no sense of mockery, they will be scandalized by them. Still! More » -
ivy league
Yalie Demands $1 Million for Lost (Magic) Xbox
Yale junior Jesse Maiman is suing US Airways for $1 million because his Xbox came up missing from his checked baggage. Excessive? Not when you consider that Xbox saved his friend's very sanity. More » -
snark
'A Writing Style Ideal for Sex-Deprived Nerds'
"One might say, in fact, that snarky writing is a wish-fulfillment for compulsive masturbators." No, that would be "banging your cousin in real life." *Snark!* [Collegiate David Denby supporter] -
Media Crack
College Papers Stage Sympathy Die-In
In your philosophical Friday media column: arm-twisting at the San Francisco Chronicle, intellectual thuggery at the NAACP, body-slamming of college papers, and death and rebirth of reporters: More » -
kids these days
College Radicalism Replaced by Tucker Max
Back in the sixties, college kids read books—books about revolution and sex and drugs. Today, college kids read Harry Potter books and whine about cops touching their Macbooks. Who's responsible? Tucker Max. More » -
shut up, college
Keith Olbermann Now Just Andy From The Office
Which I guess makes Ann Coulter... Angela? See, here he is pointing to his Cornell Diploma in order to settle some ridiculous argument. So this is what he'll do without George Bush to kick around!
More » -
recessionomics
Ten New Jobs For J-School Graduates
Despite the fact that there are not enough jobs for people already in journalism, kids still pay big money to go to J-schools. Where will they find work? New ideas for a new world: More » -
crime & punishment
NYU Kids Forced to Go Back to Class on Monday
The 18 NYU kids who occupied the Kimmel center got their just desserts: one week suspensions for all! More » -
Shut up, nilla
On 'Police Brutality'
Today, there's another video of a college kid wailing while being arrested. We never thought it would come to this, but we're officially sympathizing with cops. Let's review the concept of "Police brutality," kids: More » -
shut up, college
The Painfully Ridiculous End to the NYU Revolution
The final, farcical moments of the failed Revolutionary NYU Food Court Occupation were caught on film by one of the protesters. And then shown to the world, despite being—by any standard—incredibly embarrassing. More » -
school daze
NYU Food Court Revolution Crushed
After last night's clash with cops, a hardcore band of dead-enders continued to occupy the NYU student center food court, for Democracy. But it sounds like it's game over now people. The Man wins! More » -
breaking
Police Clash With NYU Protesters
We have reports of a street confrontation between NYU protesters and cops starting around 1 AM, the deadline set for demonstrators to leave the campus food court they occupied. Twitter seemingly confirms: More » -
crises
Vegan Lunch Dilemma Brings NYU Revolutionaries to Brink of Explosion
We are closely following the breaking news at the student-occupied NYU food court, where protesters are fighting for Palestinian solidarity. The most important issues so far: vegan lunches and cigarette breaks. Things are getting tense! More » -
direct action
Revolution Strikes the NYU Food Court!
Not to alarm you sheep out there as you go about your bourgeois activities this morning, but you should be aware that that the NYU student center food court has been occupied by revolutionaries!! More » -
higher learning
Inside The Michael Phelps College Doofus Party
Who took that photo of dolphin-boy Michael Phelps hitting a bong? Who cares? It's no worse than that photo of you in college, licking liquid acid off a naked mule. But the media is investigating! More »






































