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shut up, college
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shut up, college
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shut up, college
shut up, college
The Ivy League's Diet Maven
Daphne Oz, Princeton '08 and author of the freshman-15 battling book, The Dorm Room Diet, also put out an awesome workout video. The perils of gaining a couple pounds must be fought tooth and nail, says the daughter of frequent Oprah guest Dr. Mehmet Oz. Click for the gayest workout video of our time, starring Daphne's ex-boyfriend (says Ivygate) and sister. (Lessons: the "dorm-room workout"? It's Pilates. But never underestimate the power of a connected parent in publishing.) More »
bastards of young
The Internet Says Drop Out of School!
The internet is full of scorn and advice for The Youngs, today. Everyone is so concerned! It's sweet. As we mentioned, Doree explores the topic of foolish Ivy League entitlement at some length in The Observer. Young-on-young violence! Meanwhile some of us are forced into oppressive internshps. An angry old man says quit bitching, basically. A sad young literary old man has advice (?) about how we Youngs are full of GUFF. Guff toward him! Of all people! This rubs some youngs the wrong way. But there is a solution! To everyone's problem! Everyone needs to drop out of school, as soon as possible. The best of the best have done it and lived to tell the tale. Including that angry old guy from before, who was, once again, ahead of the curve. He has moved on to unemployment, which is, we hear, similarly freeing. Who else is in? Update: Ha ha ha. Maybe we should all learn trades?
shut up, college
Find Stuff In the Park and Eat It
Since we're already on the subject of edibles today: Wesleyan, the official most annoying liberal arts school in the country, has a New York Club. They're having an "Urban Edibles in Prospect Park" event. Finding things on the ground and putting them in your mouth? Oberlin would never get that hippie-ish. Click for the flyer! More »
shut up, college
Midwestern College Students Disappointed With Midwestern Commencement Speaker
Students at Northwestern are apparently outraged that their school selected stupid Chicago mayor Richard Daley to speak at commencement. Boooring! They wanted John McCain, the Dalai Lama, or last year's speaker, Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Some whiny Northwestern kid emailed the school's president, who actually responded with some amusing sniping: More »
the way we live now
At Hippie Student House, John Edwards Will Police Your Showers
The New York Times—that arbiter of youth culture—reports on the "green" student houses springing up around the country, focusing on the one at Oberlin. (Voted as one of the top annoying liberal arts colleges by this very website!) "All year they studied together in the living room at night so they would not have to turn on lights in the other rooms. They mastered worm composting, lowered the thermostat — keeping it at 60 degrees for most of the winter ... and unplugged appliances." Aww! They're living like lil' pioneers. (Disclosure: during college, I lived in a house exactly like this, featuring huge rows over wasting bread and the evils of commercial cleaning products. To this day, I clean with vinegar out of fear.) The Obies, as they're called, have a very special way of making sure each other's showers are kept quick and dirty: More »
things we actually like
"F--K Bush": The Naughtiest College Journalist
College newspaper site UWIRE recently announced the UWIRE 100, their estimation of the top college journalists of last year. Our personal favorite? David McSwane of the Rocky Mountain Collegian. Along with the editorial staff, he wrote a two-word, full-page editorial saying, simply, "Fuck Bush." He was very nearly canned. Click to see the glorious original version. More »
priya venkatesan
Student-Suing Prof Wrote a Lame Senior Thesis
Former Dartmouth lecturer Priya Venkatesan famously tried to sue all her students for being mean to her. Now, as a researcher at Northwestern, she's probably less likely to have her academic feathers ruffled by entitled little Ivy frosh retching at talk of power structures. But she does still have to deal with their student newspapers digging up embarrassing things about her. Embarrassing things like... her senior thesis. It's called Montaigne and Macbeth: Rebellion, Gender and Patriarchy in the Renaissance. Of course. More »
conservatives
John McWhorter Sees A Little Bill Buckley In Himself
New York Sun columnist and bizarre racial thinker John McWhorter takes a wistful look back today at God and Man at Yale, crypto-fascist William F. Buckley's seminal work on how to be an uptight Ivy League conservative. Why today? Well, there's never a bad time to speak out against the outrageous marginalization of capitalism and Christianity on college campuses, in McWhorter's view, and besides, he had a column due. He thoughtfully and eloquently fellates Buckley's 1951 plea for sticks (of morality) to be inserted in asses (of Christianity) throughout our nation's top schools. And you know—not to be immodest—McWhorter can't help but see a little bit of Buckley's controversial genius in himself: More »
shut up, college
Depress-y College Writing Can Get You Committed, Expelled
Lord knows what kind of disturbing essays dark writers like David Lynch, Chuck Palahniuk, or Bret Easton Ellis might've written in a college class. But that shit will get you kicked out or committed these days—thanks to the Virginia Tech shooter, who not only killed people, but ruined college creative writing for the rest of us by turning in many a disturbing story. Reports the Wall Street Journal, 23-year-old Steven Barber's story, which included murder and suicide, got him locked up in the nuthouse for the weekend and expelled.More »
millennials
You Have the Right to Shut the F--k Up: Wesleyan Students Remember 5-15
We told you about the Wesleyan University (one of the most annoying liberal arts colleges in the United States) partyriot of May 15th; police put down, rather forcefully, a block party that may or may not have gotten out of control. Wesleyan students are shaken and shocked by perhaps their first encounter with senseless injustice and police idiocy. One student says she was bit by a police dog and told she had the right to "shut the fuck up." Another says the party was tame and that she wishes "people would stop using the word 'melee.'" That said, "There are banners up outside eclectic saying things like, DO YOU FEEL SAFE NOW? and the more to-the-point, FUCK THE POLICE." [ThePreReq]
the second generation
Wesleyan Student Partyriot Ends in Paintball and Tasers
Wesleyan University, one of the most annoying liberal arts schools in the United States, had an end-of-school "huge block party" last night. Police used probably-unnecessary force (paintball guns with pepper balls, tasers, dogs) to disperse the 250 students on the street; some of them threw bottles at police cars, reports NBC30. But oh, those Millennial generation kids! Thank God they've liveblogged this: "Neither students nor police handling this particularly well. Someone chanting 'Glo-bal war-ming!' -> WTF?" More »
under god
J-School Grads Pledge Allegiance to Not Making Stuff Up
Journalism students in Reno, Nevada (they have schools there?) are all going to sign a symbolic ethics pledge tomorrow, thus guaranteeing forever the survival and viability of journalism in America. The story is kind of too sad to even make fun of. Except not really! They're having a reception in the atrium of the Reynolds School of Journalism at the University of Nevada and all the seniors will solemnly promise to not make stuff up. If they ever get jobs. That's what's been wrong this whole time! We forgot to make all the reporters put their hands on bibles before filing stories! More »
Worst Spring Break Ever
The DEA has arrested nearly 75 students at San Diego State University for running a drug ring selling coke, weed, and ecstasy out of four frat houses. But let's not lose sight of the real victims in this sad affair: college drug users. [NYT]
priya venkatesan
Welcome to Northwestern, Student-Suing Prof!
Former Dartmouth lecturer Priya Venkatesan, the woman who threatened to sue her students for being mean to her and not caring about post-modernism, is now a research associate at Northwestern. She'll definitely end up with plenty of material for her forthcoming book at NU, especially because the blog College On the Record has already published her email address and invited students to harass her. Venkatesan declined to speak with the Wall Street Journal when they wrote that terrible op-ed about the situation, saying she'd said all she needed to say to The Dartmouth Review (and boy, did she). And today, the Harvard Crimson weighed in! More »
public relations
Coach Brand Teaches Students How To Be Dirty Shills
Hunter College, the luxury brand Coach, fraudulent PR campaigns, and dishonest corporate collaboration with academia are the topics of the day today. Important topics! Adweek has just come out with a long investigative piece on a Coach-sponsored PR class at Hunter, which reeks of impropriety and dishonesty, and ended up tangling a bunch of college kids up in a fake online PR blog that makes them all look like a bunch of shady, dishonest undercover marketing hacks. "I knew a lot of hell would break loose about the class. And it did," said the teacher. Indeed. The condensed version of the whole sordid tale, after the jump. More »
pompous tools
Student-Suing Professor Roundly Disliked
Now it's official: everyone involved in any capacity with the Priya Venkatesan affiar annoys the hell out of us. To recap, Ms. Venkatesan was a Dartmouth lecturer who decided to sue her students for harassment or something because they heckled her. She is clearly a pompous tool. Her students are also probably pompous tools. Now a pompous tool who writes for the Wall Steet Journal editorial page weighs in with an indictment against academia. Joseph Rago attended Dartmouth, you see, though he totally didn't like it very much and didn't even try very hard in his classes. Because of post-modernism. Writing papers for lit classes is just like "filling in Mad Libs," he explains. Writing indictments of academia for the Wall Street Journal editorial page, on the other hand, is more like Pictionary. After the jump: amusing student reviews of Venkatesan's class from an internal Dartmouth page. The kids didn't really like her! More »
shut up, college
Sorority Hazing Scandal Continued: Tales of Grave-digging and Branding
In response to Long Island's Hofstra University sorority scandal, in which 19-year-old Courtney Holt said she was brutally hazed (the Phi Epsilon sorority responded that she was a mean drunk), a Hofstra alumn has written in. Surprise: the sorority is def evil, she says, and those girls are just as horrible as you might have imagined. "Although this Holt girl def seems like a psycho, a lot of the other information that she states is true... For one being Branded... yes they're branded with a three pronged fork to represent their three values (which is why they have a effing cow as a sorority symbol, and they always say 'love x3')."More »
