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New York, 12:58 AM
Sun Dec 20
11 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of CumaeanSibyl CumaeanSibyl
    12/18/09

    In reply to Twittered Toddler Death Immediately Converted into Flame War
    A lot of times, when something that awful happens, it doesn't sink in all at once. You're numb, and your first instinct is to keep doing the things you always do, because you don't yet understand how horribly and irrevocably things have changed.

    So yeah, if you're in the habit of tweeting about everything that goes on in your day, you might just keep on doing that for a while until reality hits and you lose your fucking mind.
     Reply
    CumaeanSibyl was starred CumaeanSibyl was unstarred
    Image of lobstr lobstr
    12/18/09

    In reply to Twittered Toddler Death Immediately Converted into Flame War
    These type-A mothers obsessed with blogging about every damn thing their kids-with-dumb-names do seem to be in overabundance now, I'm surprised this doesn't happen more often.

    The worst of them all is this woman in Oklahoma City who combines tweets and updates about her kids with her horrible self-described love of brands. Just when you think it can't get worse than PR flacks, you have these homemade supermommy brand enthusiasts. Ladies and gentlemen, it's.. Brand Girl.

    [www.malenalott.com]
     Reply
    lobstr was starred lobstr was unstarred
    Image of Tart of Darkness Tart of Darkness
    12/18/09

    In reply to Twittered Toddler Death Immediately Converted into Flame War
    I think the greatest thing about social networking media aimed at use by the young is that anyone can be an old biddie regardless of their age and life experience. In fact, the younger you are and the less life experience you have the more judgemental you can be with no social consequences. In the past you had to confine your judgement to behind the backs of your nearest and dearest. And then you had to face them occasionally when what you said came back around to them.

    Nowadays we can pretend to be friends with hundreds of people and criticize their every action and it nets us positive attention in the form of "followers". We can all be leaders of the flock!
     Reply
    Edited by Tart of Darkness at 12/18/09 12:39 PM Tart of Darkness was starred Tart of Darkness was unstarred
    Image of pony_express pony_express
    12/18/09

    @Tart of Darkness: Agreed. I stopped reading youtube comments along time ago. Except for Opera clips, which seem to appeal to an older demographic, most clips garner responses from 12 year old boys who cannot spell and are vicious in their cynicism. I read gawker (addictive) because, though it is gossipy and snarky, many commenters are really funny/ insightful.

    I say, give it time. Hopefully the etiquette of technology will evolve. Or maybe it will go the other way and we will de-evolve into public bouts of rudeness and yelling LMAO in people's faces when they FAIL in public forums...
     Reply
    The One promoted this comment pony_express was starred pony_express was unstarred
    Image of Don Is Don Is
    12/18/09

    @Tart of Darkness: What the internet has created, and what social networking has bolstered, are millions of mutual admiration societies. People are given a catastrophically misguided sense of surety and confidence. We have followers, fellow commenters and "friends" that heap praise where it isn't due. We end up with poor souls who think they can write, or paint, or get on American Idol. Everyone does not get a gold star. Opposing teams can't both win the game. And contrary to what your Facebook "friends" tell you, your baby is still ugly.
     Reply
    Don Is was starred Don Is was unstarred
    Image of Poodle_Heart Poodle_Heart
    12/18/09

    In reply to Twittered Toddler Death Immediately Converted into Flame War
    In the old days if people wanted to do something else than spend time with a kid, there was tv, the telephone, and sex with the mailman.
     Reply
    Poodle_Heart was starred Poodle_Heart was unstarred
    Image of LuluFimbria LuluFimbria
    12/18/09

    @If_I_Had_a_Poodle: and a bottle of cooking sherry.
     Reply
    If_I_Had_a_Poodle promoted this comment LuluFimbria was starred LuluFimbria was unstarred
    Image of drinkyprose drinkyprose
    12/18/09

    @If_I_Had_a_Poodle: Wrong!

    In the old days parents were BETTER. They were never neglectful or abusive. Childhood was simpler and happier, until we ruined everything with our technology and our feminism.

    /snark.
     Reply
    If_I_Had_a_Poodle promoted this comment drinkyprose was starred drinkyprose was unstarred
    Image of ArleenCabango ArleenCabango
    12/18/09

    @drinkyprose: well back in the day, parents spent time with the kids cause they were all in the fields growing dinner.
     Reply
    If_I_Had_a_Poodle promoted this comment ArleenCabango was starred ArleenCabango was unstarred
    Image of KikiCanuck KikiCanuck
    12/18/09

    @If_I_Had_a_Poodle: Whoa, when did sex with the mailman come off the table?
     Reply
    KikiCanuck was starred KikiCanuck was unstarred
    Image of Poodle_Heart Poodle_Heart
    12/18/09

    @KikiCanuck: never!
     Reply
    Poodle_Heart was starred Poodle_Heart was unstarred
    Image of Lymed Lymed
    12/18/09

    In reply to Twittered Toddler Death Immediately Converted into Flame War
    So she last posted on twitter 16 minutes before she found her son had drowned at that is proof of what exactly?
     Reply
    Lymed was starred Lymed was unstarred
    Image of Lysergic Asset Lysergic Asset
    12/18/09

    ignore this
     Reply
    Edited by Lysergic Asset at 12/18/09 11:57 AM Lysergic Asset was starred Lysergic Asset was unstarred
    Image of Lysergic Asset Lysergic Asset
    12/18/09

    @Lymed: That people can still tell time?
     Reply
    Lysergic Asset was starred Lysergic Asset was unstarred
    Image of lobstr lobstr
    12/18/09

    @Lymed: Well, it depends.. does that tweet say "I will now begin my twenty minute meditation routine.."?
     Reply
    lobstr was starred lobstr was unstarred
    Image of Beau Nerd Beau Nerd
    12/18/09

    In reply to Twittered Toddler Death Immediately Converted into Flame War
    There's a special place in hell for awful, bone ugly human waste like Madison McGraw.

    I can judge from a distance, too.
     Reply
    Beau Nerd was starred Beau Nerd was unstarred
    Image of RandomLunatic RandomLunatic
    12/18/09

    @Beau Nerd: Yeah, I'd add "clearly self-published author and hand-wringing, pearl-twisting ninny" to Ryan's description of the woman, after seeing her blog.
     Reply
    RandomLunatic was starred RandomLunatic was unstarred
    Image of MinnesotaStateofMind MinnesotaStateofMind
    12/18/09

    @Beau Nerd: Wow, it took me a minute to place the name. Madison McGraw used to hang out at the Kindle discussion board on Amazon. For all I know, she might still post there. She was the Queen Bee for judgmental types, particularly on a thread about boycotting eBooks over 9.99.

    I was curious and DLed a sample of one of her books, Justify The Means, and it was pretty tragic. I've never shared that opinion before, because I had a need to be somewhat polite to someone who is working hard to be a writer.

    However, her latest kicking of a woman in mourning makes me want to scream it from rooftops and suggest others check out the sample.
     Reply
    Beau Nerd promoted this comment MinnesotaStateofMind was starred MinnesotaStateofMind was unstarred
    Image of Tremonius Tremonius
    12/18/09

    In reply to Twittered Toddler Death Immediately Converted into Flame War
    It just so happens a three-year-old died in a swimming pool accident one year in the nineties, and the parents were part of a network to which I belonged. We knew them. They were bottom-feeders, an insensitive couple of deranged and mentally deficient louts. The dud was online about the death the same day. His objective was solace in the form of checks or money orders.

    Soured us on public faux-grieving forever.
     Reply
    Tremonius was starred Tremonius was unstarred
    Image of Lysergic Asset Lysergic Asset
    12/18/09

    @Tremonius: @Tremonius: The sad part is, I think a lot of 'bottom feeder' types figure "I can always have another kid." My niece almost drowned once while my sister-in-law was chatting with her friends, and her reaction to seeing her daughter being pulled out of the pool was to laugh at 'how cute' my niece looked with her lips all blue. Thankfully, this woman has stopped having children.
     Reply
    Lysergic Asset was starred Lysergic Asset was unstarred
    Image of Tremonius Tremonius
    12/18/09

    @Lysergic Asset: Eerie, but this couple was also of the breeder sort who casually littered kids about for the state to pick up. They had four at the time; I'm sure many more today.

    We were alerted to this couple because she told the happy story of her hubby restraining his cat jokes the time her kitty was caught in the dryer when she jumped up from the couch to dump the wash then back to it. Utterly sickening, but I suppose the ivy league has such inhuman louts as well.
     Reply
    Tremonius was starred Tremonius was unstarred
    Image of KikiCanuck KikiCanuck
    12/18/09

    @Tremonius: That cat annecdote hurts my heart. I am of the school of thought that believes you can judge a person's compassion by how they treat their pets, and I guess in this case you can. I also obsessively do a visual and manual check of the dryer for sneaky felines every time I transfer a load of laundry, so this may be a particular neurosis/irrational fear of mine.
     Reply
    Edited by KikiCanuck at 12/18/09 5:20 PM KikiCanuck was starred KikiCanuck was unstarred
    Image of Tremonius Tremonius
    12/18/09

    @KikiCanuck: I firmly believe if there is some sort of cosmic conscience, she is looking not at how we follow obscure meaningless doctrine but how we regard those who cannot advance us on the social scale. There's no deer hunter in my blue heaven.

    I heart you.
     Reply
    Tremonius was starred Tremonius was unstarred
    Image of AndPreciousLittleofThat AndPreciousLittleofThat
    12/18/09

    In reply to Twittered Toddler Death Immediately Converted into Flame War
    This same story was on Gizmodo yesterday, but with a real critical slant. It was couched as a "Can you believe the shit people do on the internet these days" thing, but it felt pretty clear to me that the author of the post was more interested in passing judgement than holding the situation up as a question to everyone at large.

    I said then, and I'll say again, that if people want to question the motives and actions of a grieving mother, they're asking for trouble.
     Reply
    AndPreciousLittleofThat was starred AndPreciousLittleofThat was unstarred
    Image of RandomLunatic RandomLunatic
    12/18/09

    @AndPreciousLittleofThat: Yeah, Jesus Diaz pretty much gets (deservedly) blasted in most of the comments there, too:

    [gizmodo.com]

    The police have defended this woman. She's a military mom with a husband overseas. Her Twitter followers probably do feel like family to her - which is sad in and of itself. It certainly seemed weird at first blush, but the story makes more sense the more you read about it.

    As a parent, would I do it? HELL no. I'd probably be unable to move, even breathe. Still, you really can't predict how people will handle grief, so it's kind of unfair to judge them for it, unless there seems to be a question as to how the cause of the grief came about. There doesn't appear to be any of that here, just a tragic accident that could happen to a LOT of perfectly decent parents, Twitter accts or not.
     Reply
    RandomLunatic was starred RandomLunatic was unstarred
    Image of misslinda misslinda
    12/18/09

    @RandomLunatic: People do really weird things when they're in difficult situations. I recently had a Facebook friend essentially blog his death through Facebook status updates right up until he went into hospice. No laptops were allowed so he had his wife provide a couple of updates over the three days he was there, and then we got the Facebook update that he had passed. I found it to be very sad and depressing, but it really did seem to make him feel better to stay connected with everybody up until his last moments, so I guess to each their own.
     Reply
    misslinda was starred misslinda was unstarred
    Image of MameDennis MameDennis
    12/18/09

    @RandomLunatic: Bingo. Our nephew was killed right about this time last year, and just about the last thing any of us were about to do was Tweet. But we were lucky to have a big, supportive family rallying around. I'm sure as hell not going to begrudge this woman any comfort she can find.

    Anyone who has actually stood in front of your child's casket, judge away; everyone else can shut the fuck up.
     Reply
    RandomLunatic promoted this comment MameDennis was starred MameDennis was unstarred
    Image of Sabbatai Sabbatai
    12/18/09

    @MameDennis: It doesn't even have to be a child. My father passed recently and I tweeted about it. I also made a post on facebook.

    People were supportive online. People in real life asked other friends of mine, who then told me things like "You can tell how much HE cared about his dad... the first thing he did was get on his computer.. doesn't sound like grieving to me!" and other such gems.

    These of course, were people who had no idea what kind of relationship my father and I had or the relationships I share with the people I talk to through facebook and other such sites. If they understood these things.... they'd still say the same thing because everyone wants to be the judge but no one wants to be the one being judged. Speaking out first means less time for others to speak out about you.

    Such is life. Maybe my father got the better deal.
     Reply
    RandomLunatic promoted this comment Sabbatai was starred Sabbatai was unstarred
    Image of allyzay allyzay
    12/18/09

    @RandomLunatic: I wish I hadn't clicked through to that link. What a twisted, horrible post. I would actually be ashamed of myself if I had written anything close to that - and the picture!
     Reply
    allyzay was starred allyzay was unstarred
    Image of The One The One
    12/18/09

    @MameDennis: So, nobody can ever have an opinion about anything unless he or she has actually experienced it? That ought to shut down most conversations and debates.

    And, no, this does NOT mean that I am coming down on the side of the woman trashing the grieving mother.
     Reply
    The One was starred The One was unstarred
    Image of MameDennis MameDennis
    12/18/09

    @The One: Why yes, that's exactly my point. Well spotted.

    My point, restated simply: Don't assume you know how you'd react if you lost a child, because you don't.
     Reply
    MameDennis was starred MameDennis was unstarred
    Image of The One The One
    12/18/09

    @MameDennis: So, that means we can look forward to you not offering any opinions about anything which you have not personally experienced?
     Reply
    The One was starred The One was unstarred
    Image of KikiCanuck KikiCanuck
    12/18/09

    @misslinda: I think your (not just yours, but "one's") perception of sharing of end of life experiences changes depending on your own personal situation. I recently looked after someone I loved in the months, weeks and days before death. It was a life-changing experience - every day, I discovered a new way to break my own heart and learned how deeply I could love, how much I could take, how much I could give.

    Part of the "kit" that I recieved from a paliative care resource centre included a journal of an anonymous terminal patient and his spouse who had recorded his thoughts, feelings, and experiences in his final days. It helped me to know what to expect, but more than that it comforted me to know that others had been down the road to the end - that this couple did it together and that we could too. These entries, although sometimes painful to read, helped me more than I can say. I'm sure it would make for really grim reading for someone with a different experience, but I definitely understand the motivation to share, to make your death about more than just dying and live on in some way.

    If your friend had a Facebook network of friends with terminal illnesses, through community groups or treatment centres, I imagine that his decision to share his experience meant a great deal to them, and helped them to find reassurance and comfort.

    In our society and culture, we are very rarely candid about death, even with ourselves, but to the dying, there is no point in being discrete. When death becomes your reality, and your inexorable and immediate future, the taboos around it sort of naturally fall away. In that sense, your friends messages were, to him, not much different than updates about his slow drive to work or his annoying mother in law - the minutiae of his life, right up until the end.
     Reply
    KikiCanuck was starred KikiCanuck was unstarred
    Image of Poop Cooper Poop Cooper
    12/18/09

    In reply to How a Fake Twitter Death Report Tragically Came True
    My condolences to Chris Henry's loved ones. It must have been terrible having to experience a loss overshadowed by something like this; especially if you bought into the news 12 hours earlier, only to be short-changed your relief by something this tragic.

    Edit: Took out a lame joke about Fake Gerry. It wasn't funnier than the tragedy of the situation.
     Reply
    Edited by Poop Cooper at 12/18/09 3:24 AM Poop Cooper was starred Poop Cooper was unstarred
    Image of belltolls belltolls
    12/17/09

    In reply to How a Fake Twitter Death Report Tragically Came True
    I hope that means that is not Gerry's real picture.
     Reply
    belltolls was starred belltolls was unstarred
    Image of blix blix
    12/17/09

    In reply to How a Fake Twitter Death Report Tragically Came True
    Twitterland? If I ever say anything remotely like "Gawkerland" please send the nice men with the white coats to escort me to my new room with the soft, soft walls.
     Reply
    blix was starred blix was unstarred
    Image of themediatrix themediatrix
    12/17/09

    In reply to How a Fake Twitter Death Report Tragically Came True
    I love the person saying "you are the worst reporter ever!" There are so many things about that tweet to enjoy.

    (Sad news about Chris Henry of course)
     Reply
    themediatrix was starred themediatrix was unstarred
    Image of Botswana Meat Commission FC Botswana Meat Commission FC
    12/17/09

    @themediatrix: Also....
    "You are a low level human being"

    Fucking Twitter-tards. Ugh.
     Reply
    Botswana Meat Commission FC was starred Botswana Meat Commission FC was unstarred
    Image of daveyjonesisdead daveyjonesisdead
    12/17/09

    In reply to How a Fake Twitter Death Report Tragically Came True
    Even a nonstop twitter is right twice a day.
     Reply
    daveyjonesisdead was starred daveyjonesisdead was unstarred
    Image of m4ximusprim3 m4ximusprim3
    12/17/09

    In reply to How a Fake Twitter Death Report Tragically Came True
    Yes, but can Gerry chalk this up as a scoop?

    PS: this whole stupid twitter business aside, RIP Chris. While I don't think anyone really expected you to make it to old age, you seemed to be genuinely on the right track to redemption. You'll be missed.
     Reply
    m4ximusprim3 was starred m4ximusprim3 was unstarred
    Image of Swifter Swifter
    12/17/09

    In reply to How a Fake Twitter Death Report Tragically Came True
    Sadly, Twitter is still alive.
     Reply
    Swifter was starred Swifter was unstarred
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