A phantom pisser left his (or her) mark in a Harvard library this weekend, by dousing a selection of books about LGBT issues with human pee. The "vandalism by urine" will be investigated as a hate crime.

The food court at Louisiana State University sure is a tense place. This girl goes ballistic when she can't get her Papa John's fast enough. She need to go back to her dorm and smoke a J or something. [via]

The Harvard Republican Club is mired in an election-fixing scandal of a deviousness not seen since the heyday of ACORN. The charge: a sinister plot by one candidate to lure voters away from the polls. The bait: McKinsey. Ooooo, Mckinsey!

Moderately good news, unemployed college graduates! A new report on hiring trends says that hiring of graduates with bachelor's degrees or MBAs will surge by 10% next year. Green shoots! As long as you didn't go to law school.

Speaking of sexxxy college library stunts: At N.C. State University, freshman Seth Pace's school spirit compelled him to dash nude through the school library, knocking 1,000 books off the shelves. The next naked library student's an official trend-establisher!

Looking to get rich quick? Become a college president! According to a new Chronicle of Higher Education survey, 30 college presidents made $1,000,000 or more in 2008, more than ever before. How hard can it be, really?

We're in the midst of a higher education bubble: expensive degrees of questionable value are nonetheless pursued by a limitless hordes of aspirants. What a hustle. You're so happy to get in, you don't care that your class is online.

Last week gentlemen (or one gentleman, depending on who you believe) from two Duke fraternity houses sent out, to 300 or so choice ladies, an email wooing them to their houses by calling them sluts and making Helen Keller jokes.

Some photos that recently popped up on Facebook show first year female lacrosse players at Oxford dressed up as babies or as "teenage mums" as some sort of boozy hazing ritual. Now everyone is horrified! This filthy behavior, at Oxford?

Northwestern University, champion of the stern administration email! Last year, some Northwestern kids had the bright idea of dressing up in blackface for Halloween. This year, the dean's not taking any chances. "Pimps and hos" and "gangsta" parties are unacceptable.

Amazing things can happen when journalism students email strangers for help with their class assignments. But not if they start out by insulting them. Here's an email request that could be interpreted as a little insensitive!

College newspaper cartoon controversy alert! We consider it our solemn duty to keep you, the bored public, up-to-date on the very latest unfunny cartoons causing outrage among humorless college students across America. Today: girls are skanks! Dudes love rape! Amirite?

Everybody wants to go to college these days, no matter how worthless college may be. Smooth move, guidance counselors: these kids are dropping out of college and costing the taxpayers billions.

What sort of college woman would turn her body into a walking KFC advertisement by accepting $500 to wear sweatpants with "Double Down" emblazoned on the buttocks? An empowered one!

A shocking new study indicates that students drink more alcohol while studying abroad—on average doubling weekly intake to ten drinks. Drinking returned to normal when students came back, though rates of saying "when I was in Europe" tripled.

Last weekend marked an outrageous and ignoble milestone of disillusionment for more than a hundred Yale students: New Haven police rudely broke up their party as if they were regular townies. Needless to say, academe is aflame.

A former San Jose State University student is suing her sorority, Sigma Gamma Rho, for beating the hell out of her with wooden paddles for three weeks. Hey, hey—how else will she learn to respect her history?

College newspapers are not totally worthless. They are where young journalists go to learn. About scandal! Angry readers! Outraged parents! Repentant editors! Scared-shitless administrators! And all over some kids who are just making it up as they go! It's great.

Sure, there's a Hollywood blockbuster about him, he's got half a billion users, and his net worth is estimated at $7 billion. But for cultural relevance, it's hard to beat Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg's cameo on The Simpsons.

The rich: what the hell are they doing with their time, anyhow? Published reports indicate that the wealthy and successful among us are primarily engaged in two activities: teaching your college class, and eating cheap hamburgers.