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fitness

The Media Wants You Fat And Broke!

First, the media implants an unattainable idea in our heads about what a human body should look like. Then, on top of that, popular publications give confusing advice about how to achieve that impossibly cut look! In the last couple of days, the lying liberal media has published several articles on various fitness techniques. You don't need to read any of them, because we're about to round them all up and drop some serious knowledge on you about the phony, media-driven fitness fantasy. After the jump, how to save money and kick ass in this shallow, workout-obsessed world. More »

12:51 PM on Mon Mar 24 2008
By Hamilton Nolan
5,481 views, 44 comments

Latest by slimceagirl: My secret: just have an unpredictable stomach disorder, be too poor to buy meals that you can't digest anyway, ride the f-train (2 million steps a day), live on the 4th floor of a walk-up, and you too will find more »

marketing

The Must-Have Product For The Hamptons '08

Are you a summertime golf enthusiast, a woman with hot flashes, or just someone who enjoys comically conspicuous consumption? If so, you need to run out and purchase some Evian Mineral Water Spray straightaway. With every spritz of the five ounce, $10 bottle, you send the message: I have spent $10 on five ounces of water. Oh, wait; it's propelled by nitrogen. Well then. [via Adrants]

12:31 PM on Tue Mar 11 2008
By Hamilton Nolan
1,418 views, 52 comments