Looks like the X Factor will have to find a new blank-eyed country ham to hurt people's feelings; Britney Spears will not be returning as a judge next season.

Those expecting sunshine and catatonia from Britney Spears' new gig as X Factor judge must have been surprised to see how dismissive and blunt she proved to be on last night's Season 2 premiere of the Fox singing competition.

The American iteration of the televised talent competition The X Factor returns this week for a second season with pop princesses Britney Spears and Demi Lovato stepping in to fill the seats left empty by departing judges Nicole Scherzinger and Paula Abdul.

Prepare yourself for a yarn from the high seas that's so exciting and dangerous it makes Jaws look like fucking Babe. This maritime drama stars none other than Simon Cowell, a British man known mostly for being mean to amateur singers on musical game shows. The setting: Cowell's yacht off the coast of St. Tropez. Are…

Fox made a huge deal out of snagging Britney Spears as a judge on The X Factor during upfronts. And sure, as a pop star and recovering hot mess, Spears is a perfect choice for that panel. But how much judging does she actually plan on doing?

Are you sitting down?

All of us working stiffs who have to report to the office on this slowest week of the year hate those people who are on vacation this week, right? And who could we hate more than celebrities, who are on vacation every damn day of the year? Well, here they are rubbing our noses in their beach vacations and lives of…

The X Factor whittled its contestant pool down to a dozen during its first live show tonight. One contestant hoping to impress the judges was Simone Battle, who'd advanced previously thanks to Simon Cowell and against the wishes of co-judge LA Reid. So when Battle's performance fell flat tonight, Reid wasted no time…

Tonight's X Factor saw a fracturing of the judging panel, with Simon Cowell and LA Reid teaming up to butt heads with Paula Abdul and Nicole Scherzinger. The ladies' rejection of the more attractive female contestants led Cowell to accuse them of judging bias and, in an attempt to strike back, tell one unremarkable…

Last night Fox unveiled its latest brilliant, innovative idea: A vote-based singing competition judged by Paula Abdul and Simon Cowell. Who are the TV wizards who come up with these ideas??

A year after Simon Cowell abandoned ship on American Idol to produce an American version of his other popular televised singing competition, he returned to Fox tonight—and reunited with a no-doubt hysterical Paula Abdul—as The X Factor made its stateside debut.

Ahead of Wednesday's premiere of The X Factor, Simon Cowell is in full promotional mode. Tonight's PR pit stop brought Cowell to The Tonight Show, where he shared some brutally honest opinions of his three X Factor co-judges to Jay Leno.

We don't mean to be rude, but: who is this guy on The X Factor "world premiere screening" red carpet? And what has he done with Simon Cowell?

Simon Cowell fondly recalls a successful date with "wacko" Denise Richards. Did Lady Gaga hook up with a tween idol? Madonna defends her right to hate hydrangeas. What did Ali Lohan do to her face? Thursday gossip has questions.

Shia LaBeouf has a public spitting problem, Chelsea Handler was booted from a bathroom stall, Sofia Coppola got married, Simon Cowell and Muammar Qaddafi have a lot in common, and the cast of Jersey Shore barely escaped Hurricane Irene. Sunday gossip has made landfall.

Clint's former model son Scott has gotten a new acting gig, meaning he's poised for stardom! Also today: Ted Danson makes an odd choice, the glorious rise of Wendi McLendon-Covey, and some sneaky Canadians.

20,000 Oprah Winfrey zealots filled Chicago's United Center on Tuesday night for the taping of a two-part farewell spectacular that will air on May 23rd and 24th. It was billed as a "night of surprises," but, like Oprah, I hate surprises. So here's a list of everyone who showed up, as exhaustively docutweeted by The…

Tonight NBC rolls out the first episode of its much-hyped, overly-complicated singing competition The Voice. This is a mistake on so many levels, mostly because America has depleted its talent pool to the point of exhaustion. With our countless number of reality talent competitions, there is no one good enough to be…

It sounds like Simon Cowell's mum is even sassier than he is. Simon told Leno that after she watched an episode of the show with the new judges, she asked Simon to tell "Paula she looks tired."