Time for an update on the case of Hiram Monserrate, alleged girlfriend face-slasher and one of New York's three very most objectionable political figures! Having his slash-vic on his side in court is really helping him out. Love—it's crazy.

Second acts are hard, and who knows the cruelty of aging out of a profession better than a model? The day eventually comes when each fashion industry worker must ask himself, what color is my parachute? Some will answer: It is steel-colored! But "slashing" as a career, as one ex-model has just discovered, doesn't…