Near-retiree Washington Post editor Henry Allen punched writer Manuel Roig-Franzia in the face after Roig-Franzia called him a "cocksucker." Hank Steuver, a WaPo colleague whose editor is Allen, thinks the man may have some issues:

What made Henry snap was that a writer called him a naughty word, an epithet that rhymes with "coughstucker" and is playfully or spitefully reserved as a way to insult a man, by implying he's gay.

Being an enthusiastic coughstucker myself, I would someday like to ask Henry if it was the insulting delivery of the word, or the subtext of gayness that the word implies that angered him most?...Was it about the person who said it? The way he said it? Or that it was said at all? If another person in Style called me a coughstucker, I'd just have to shrug and use the Popeye retort: I am what I am.

You're totally missing the point, Hank. Imagine how you would feel if someone called you a vagina sucker! It's a slur because it was meant to be a slur. Why not ask Manuel why in the world he would use "cocksucker" as anything less than a term of endearment? Outrageous! A slur is not rendered moot to the average testosterone-filled male simply because it's true. I may be ugly, but I don't want it pointed out to me.

[And be sure to watch that dramatic re-enactment video of the fight, performed by Washington City Paper employees. A+. It does make Henry Allen appear somewhat unstable though! Via Romenesko]

In an Entertainment Weekly profile by Tim Stack, Hilton says of his altercation with will.i.am,

I realize I said the most hurtful word. I don't believe being gay is bad. I'm not homophobic. I couldn't be any gayer and I couldn't be any prouder. I've got rainbow flags shooting out of my eyes.

Stack calls him "surprisingly chastened," but he doesn't really sound all that sorry in The Advocate, where he says, "I thought about calling him the n word, but I thought the f word was even worse." He goes on to say, "I reacted in the worst way possible," but the fact remains that Hilton basically wants, as Richard Lawson says, "to have us congratulate him for not saying the racist thing he was thinking." Or that he thinks gays are more marginalized than blacks? Or that homophobic slurs are worse than racial slurs? Or that the word faggot from the mouth of a gay man is worse than the n-word from the mouth of a non-black person? The mind reels.

It seems pretty likely that Hilton doesn't "believe being gay is bad." And he seems to understand that he shouldn't have said what he said. But what is the moral status of a homophobic slur spoken by a gay person to a straight person, presumed hurtful because said straight person is presumed to be homophobic? And is this homophobia ouroboros similar to the one created by Sacha Baron Cohen, a straight person playing a gay person who is (maybe) supposed to make fun of homophobic stereotypes?

Slate's Dennis Lim basically comes down on the pro-Brüno side. He writes that Hollywood has been offering up "square-jawed," humorless portrayals of gays for so long that it's refreshing and even subversive for Baron Cohen to portray a funny, no-holds-barred "sissy" — and an oversexed one at that. He writes,

Is any viewer really going to think that this hyperbolically crass and ridiculous narcissist-who wears mesh tops and eye-searing lederhosen, refers to his adopted African baby as a "dick magnet," and drops faux-Teutonic vulgarities about his waxed arschenhaller-represents "the mainstream of the gay community," as one troubled Hollywood "gay insider" put it? And are the gays who anxiously anticipate the mocking, hostile reactions of the unenlightened really that blind to Brüno's obvious counteroffensive strategy, which is to make that mocking, hostile idiocy the subject of his film? The beauty-and perhaps even the moral logic-of Baron Cohen's method is that those who're not in on his joke are invariably the butts of the joke.

And he calls the climax of the movie, in which Brüno makes out with his opponent during a wrestling match, "a brilliant tactic against homophobia: the gay-panic offense." The idea that an over-the-top joke based on stereotypes — whether racist or homophobic — is actually a joke on people who believe the stereotypes is hardly new. It's the basis of Sarah Silverman's whole career. And while Baron Cohen offers a twist on this by actually eliciting homophobic reactions and inviting viewers to make fun of those, it's hard to accept that a straight comic is totally on the gay community's side in making fun of obnoxious straight people. It's especially hard when a lot of his act revolves around talking funny and walking funny and wearing silly clothes. The idea that viewers aren't going to be laughing at these aspects of the film — or that they will be laughing at simply an exaggerated character rather than an exaggerated gay character — is a bit naive.

A homophobic slur spoken by a gay person — especially with the intent to hurt — is still a slur, and gay stereotypes are still gay stereotypes, even if they're meant to be meta. Ultimately, though, none of these things likely matter much to Perez Hilton or Sasha Baron Cohen. Hilton tells Tim Stack, "I don't care if you like me, I just care if you read my website." And Baron Cohen probably doesn't care if people like him, as long as they see his movie. Ultimately, Brüno isn't about challenging stereotypes are breaking down barriers — it's about getting laughs and selling tickets. And Perez Hilton is all about publicity — the love that loves to speak its name.

On The Offensive [Slate]
Perez Hilton Won't Shut Up [Entertainment Weekly]

Related: Perez Hilton Would Rather Be A Racist Than Bad for The Gays [Gawker]

Frankly? It is a pretty non-shocking example of the GOP's ability to find humor in the craziest and most racist of places. But here is the magical tale of Audra Shay, Young Republican leader:

Shay posted something dumb about health care, on her Facebook, and one of her friends responded, as anyone would, with an angry string of slurs.

Two minutes later, Piker posted again saying "Obama Bin Lauden [sic] is the new terrorist… Muslim is on there side [sic]… need to take this country back from all of these mad coons… and illegals."

Eight minutes after that, at 2:02, Shay weighed in on Piker's comments: "You tell em Eric! lol."

Yes. You tell em, Eric! Tell em something insane! And, hah, it got better! Shay only de-friended the people who complained.

Cassie Wallender, a national committeewoman from the Washington Young Republican Federation, then wrote: "Someone please help a naïve Seattle girl out, is Eric's comment a racist slur?" She answered her own question one minute later: "Okay, why is this okay? I just looked it up. ‘It comes from a term baracoons (a cage) where they used to place Africans who were waiting to be sent to America to be slaves.' THIS IS NOT OKAY AND IT'S NOT FUNNY."

This was followed soon after by the chairman of the D.C. Young Republicans, Sean L. Conner, who wrote "I'm really saddened that you would support this type of racial language. ..wow! Thanks Cassie for standing up…"

Shay was silent on this exchange, but soon word started spreading throughout the Young Republican circuit, open to GOP members under 40. Significantly, Shay then "de-friended" Wallender and Conner-in the world of Facebook, that means cutting off relations-after calling her out, but kept Piker as a "friend" (subsequently, it appears their profiles are no longer linked).

The election for chairman of the Young Republicans is next Saturday, guys. Let's see how many embarrassing and permanently archived examples of electronic racism the candidates can rack up in the coming days.

He was a gay equality advocate on Miss USA, but then he was calling Will.I.Am "gay" like it was an insult in a nightclub. He did so to get under the singer's skin, but then when he did, successfully, get under his skin he got very upset at the results, even though he had thought the man a "thug" before pushing his buttons so he had to imagine it might get physical.

Now Hilton's trying to figure out if he's sorry or not. At the moment, the answer is, "Um, sort of:"

I wanted to hurt him with the word I chose, not anyone else. Unfortunately, the one who got hurt was me and, subsequently, a lot of other people. I wish none of it had happened.

I can't take it back. I did what I thought was best at the moment to stand up for myself in a non-violent yet still assertive way. Clearly, I am not homophobic... I will continue to say things that upset both gay people and straight people... I've come to terms with all my incongruities and am proud of who I am and what I do.

In closing, words can hurt. But words should not provoke someone to violence.

Hilton goes on, since the words "in closing" came less than halfway through his post. In closing, Perez Hilton makes no sense, and all efforts to make sense of him are futile.

For LGBT Co-Workers:

I don't consider you gay.
This is insensitive.

Never call a coworker a "fag" or "homo."
This is derogatory, rude, and totally
insensitive.

For African-American Coworkers:

Should we order fried chicken or
watermelon for you?
This is stereotyping and shows ignorance.

For Asian Coworkers:

You must be the new IT person.
All Asians are not IT professionals.

Can you recommend a good Chinese
restaurant?
All Asians are not Chinese. Take some time
to study a world map. The world is made up
of continents with many countries, regions,
cultures, and sub-cultures.

For Older Coworkers:

You know Wal Mart is hiring.
This is not funny. An older employee has
experience you could benefit from.

For White Coworkers:

That's how a typical white person acts.
You are suggesting that all white people are
the same by putting them in the same
category. The behavior may have nothing to
do with the person's race. [Ed.: Many white people are assholes for other reasons than race!]

For Coworkers With Disabilities:

You don't need to date; your life will be
better without a woman/man causing you
trouble.
Being disabled does not mean the person is
socially challenged.

For Hispanic/Latino Coworkers:

Can you help me out with my landscaping?
Why would you assume that all
Hispanics/Latinos are landscaping experts?

And there's so much more! Although no guidelines on Slut or Hick Coworkers.

“We learned there’s a massive need for education,” [Kirsten Suto Seckler, director for global marketing and awareness at the Special Olympics in Washington] added, “and a profound need to build respect.”

The group is going to put up ads equating derogatory references to mental disability — like Barack Obama's Tonight Show joke about playing basketball like a Special Olympics participant — to "offensive phrases about blacks, Jews, gays and women," according to the New York Times.

Particularly forbidden: The words "retard" and "retarded."

How quickly things change. It was less than a year ago that the Associated Press Stylebook had "mentally retarded" as the preferred term for those with mental disabilities. Luckily, most of the old styleguides don't need to be recalled, because they're lying around on the desks of reporters soon to be laid off, by their bankrupt newspapers.

(And it's safe to say those newspapers were bankrupted by idiots, although it probably shouldn't be.)

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1. Baby Mama.Hateful fear-mongering neo-fascist moron Michelle Malkin—who we thought had given up on Fox after her beef with Geraldo?—popped up the other day to abuse Michelle Obama. The on-screen chyron, inexplicably, referred to the candidate's wife as "Obama's Baby Mama." Because he's black, and that is a term black people use, you see. Because they have so many children out of wedlock... unlike the Obamas.... Really, it makes absolutely no fucking sense. Whatever.
Result: A producer admitted to exercising poor judgment. See, he accidentally judged black black people to be irresponsible and all-the-same. Whoops!

2. Madrassa!
So you know those racist crazy emails the relatives you don't like that much send you? Those emails ended up at Fox, and they did a whole news story on it! Fox reported that Barack Obama secretly attended a Muslim Madrassa, which is secret Islam-talk for "terrorist school for Islamo-fascist tots." In fact he went to a secular public school, but it was in Indonesia, where, as we all know, people speak funny crazy terrorist talk instead of Christian English.

Result: As seen in the clip above, CNN took Fox to task in a heartening segment correcting all the rumors. Steve Doocy, though, just acted like an ass when it came time to "apologize."

3. Assassinate Osama!
Former Washington Times editor Liz Trotta: ""And now we have what some are reading as a suggestion that somebody knock off Osama, uh Obama. Well, both, if we could." Ok, Liz! You fucking nutcase.
Result: She apologized. That was about it.

4. Lynching Party USAThis one's actually a little tricky. Shouty mad-man Bill "FUCKING THING SUCKS" O'Reilly suggested to a caller that we (we?) should not organize a lynching party and go after Michelle Obama. It is actually on odd case, because Bill—who was astounded to learn recently that some black people use silverware just like grown-ups—used incredibly racially-charged language in what was actually an utterly uncharacteristic defense of Michelle Obama. But Jesus, Bill, "lynching party"? Maybe you shouldn't have done it live.
Result: The requisite apology, complete with the typical failure to take responsibility for his own goddamn words (he blames Clarence Thomas! So many high-tech lynchings, these days, what with the internet not having been taken back yet and all).

5. Terrorist fist-jab. Interchangeable blonde hostess E.D. Hill (right) opened a segment on the meaning of the "body language" behind Barack Obama's affectionate fist-bump with his wife by calling it a "terrorist fist-bump," an insane characterization comparable only to the craziest of anonymous online commenter discourse.
Result: E.D. Hill gave a disingenuous half-apology. Then, oddly, her show was canceled. This particular slur, while idiotic and disgusting, was not much worse than the rest of the ones presented here. So... sea change on the way? We've been wrong before, of course.

After watching the video several times, it seems that Shia appears to call his taller friend a "faggot" and then begs the friend to smack him (which, frankly, is what we wish Ryan Phillipe would've done to Jay Leno). Which he feebly does, prompting a smile and hug from Shia. The whole scene eerily reminds us of what life must have been like for Ryan on The OC in Chino before he was rescued by Peter Gallagher and his warm and fuzzy eyebrows. But despite LaBeouf's offensive behavior, we can't but help giving — spoiler alert! — the son of Indiana Jones Shia is merely a victim of manipulative friends. Just as the clip ends, a bitchy girl's voice is overheard saying, "I need that video." Yes, meaning she needs about five grand from TMZ in order to buy whatever stupid designer bag she's been eyeing lately. Still, this does not excuse the careless dropping of homophobic slurs by the man Graydon Carter appointed as the Future Tom Hanks. While it's important for the young actor to broaden his appeal, it's not worth catering to the redneck crowd in order to do so.

• SHIA TO BUDDY: 'SMACK MY BITCH UP!' [TMZ]

And Lacey, good job of respecting the crowd you were speaking to on the 40th anniversary of MLK's death:

Billye Paulson, a black journalist who works for the Tribune, called the speech "offensive" and fired off an angry e-mail to Lacey demanding an apology.

"I found your acceptance speech at the April 4 SPJ awards banquet disgusting, inappropriate and vulgar. And I DID take offense. But the obscenities take a back seat to the use of the n-word, which was not necessary and very insulting," she wrote in the e-mail.

Paulson attended the event with the 82-year-old mother of the late Tribune sports writer Bob Moran, a black journalist who died last month from cancer. His mother was there to accept a special recognition award on behalf of her son.

So how much contrition has Lacey shown for his remark—the classic fatal mistake of white men who mistakenly believe they're down enough to say whatever they want—delivered to an audience including grandmothers? He's sorry that his "comments about a dead colleague rankled listeners."

"My words, meant to honor a friend, were inappropriate," Lacey said. "All present have my sincere apology. It is regrettable that any phrase of mine offended those attending a First Amendment awards banquet."

He's sorry the sticks in the mud in the audience are oversensitive enough to get offended. They probably didn't realize he was down.

This is not only the thousandth demonstration of the fact that Mike Lacey is, by all appearances, an asshole; it is also a reminder to whites everywhere: JUST LEAVE THAT WORD ALONE, FOR GOD'S SAKE. Whether ending in -er or -a, it is not for you.

[via Romenesko]