As you've no doubt heard, a giant snowstorm has shutdown most of Buffalo. People were trapped for dozens of hours, some of them without food or water. A few of braver ones to took the street to gather food from an obvious source: an abandoned Doritos truck.

What looks like Mountain Dew, tastes like Doritos, and sounds just awful? If you guessed "Dewitos," a new soft drink concocted by the food criminals at Pepsi, congratulations, you're qualified to be an executive at America's largest food and beverage company.

Lunchables, the popular cracker-n-meat-n-cheez combo meals indicative of how much your parents did not care about your health as a child, are now considered acceptable sustenance for even high school-aged kids. Are adults next?

Good news for America's growing ranks of poor people already plagued by heart disease and diabetes: Twinkies, the industrial spooge-tube cakes that will never become stale, will now be sold by discount retailer Big Lots at up to 40% less than grocery store prices.

Millions of packages of Polly-O and Kraft string cheese that came from a plant in upstate New York have been recalled after complaints that the cheese was discolored and spoiled too soon—enough to cause a devastating string cheese shortage all across the U.S.

The Obama administration is making more moves to prevent childhood obesity—a complete overhaul of the munchies and beverages sold outside of school cafeterias. The administration just released a new set of nutrition standards, which means no more cheese curls or sugar water. You can have fruit. A petite granola bar.…

The only thing we know for sure about this story is that, on Saturday night, a sheriff's deputy from Monroe County in Florida removed a Doritos bag from a chip-loving deer's head.

Towards the end of last year, Frito-Lay invited snackers across the country to suggest new Lay's potato chip flavors they would like to see the company produce.

Sure, if you go to the Inaugural Ball you get to watch Jennifer Hudson sing "Let's Stay Together" while the Obamas dance. But based on the dispatches from intrepid reporters at Obama's Inaugural Ball, those of us who were stuck at home should consider ourselves lucky; the conditions there sound atrocious — squalid,…

No longer satisfied with playing second fiddle to peanuts at all your sportsball games, Cracker Jacks is getting x-treme. They have created a new line, Cracker Jack'D, which contains caffeine and is meant to, yes, jack you up.

Hostess, the maker of Twinkies, Ho Hos, Ding Dongs, and other forms of American health food, is currently the target of strike by its workers. If you're interested in the particulars of the issues at hand, the union's side can be found here, and the company's side can be found here. ("The walkouts began after bakery…

Dog food repurposing factory Taco Bell, which is in the process of becoming "upscale" in the sense of "selling food with a greater number of ingredients than a bean burrito," is rolling out some new Snaxxx that are perfectly suited to the sensitive and ever-evolving American palate. In the sense of "containing a…

Wayne Watson (pictured above, imitating a bag of popcorn) was awarded $7 million today in a lawsuit he filed after being diagnosed with "microwave popcorn lung," which is a real thing. Watson was diagnosed with the respiratory disease in 2007, after eating two bags of artificially flavored popcorn a day for years.