Gawker: softball

Daily Show Routs Nightly News

John Cook — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 18:05:29 EDT

In softball! The Daily Show played the NBC Nightly News last night, and even the bosses showed up. Fake news beat real news, 12 to 2.

TVNewser has photos, video of Williams acknowledging a humiliating defeat, and a write-up:

Pregame, Stewart led the Daily Show march onto the field chanting: "I don't know what I just heard, Brian Williams throws like a girl." Though this was immediately followed by Stewart shouting, "Did you guys bring water? Who's going to hold my inhaler?"

Greta Van Susteren Exposes Palin Family Kitchen Activities!

Hamilton Nolan — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 10:39:29 EST

Square-jawed Fox News host Greta Van Susteren is out to show that the media is not totally in the tank, by giving a fair and balanced interview to Gov. Sarah Palin right in her own back yard! And by that we mean not just "the state of Alaska," but literally "her own back yard." Greta is chronicling her trip to Wasilla on her very own blog, "GretaWire," which allows us all to take an intimate peek into this cross-continental journalistic excursion. Question: On a scale of 1-10, how much of this trip was for "journalism," and how much was for "Whoa, free snowmobile ride!"? Let Greta's own pictures guide you:

EXCLUSIVE PALIN KITCHEN PHOTO!!!!!

EXCLUSIVE PALIN YARD PHOTO!!!

Who is this masked journalistic pair?

Lo, it is Greta Van Susteren and Piper Palin, a pair of journalists!

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Piper.

We can't wait for the thrilling finale! [GretaWire]

Circ may be down 17 percent (uh, controlled!...

Doree Shafrir — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 15:50:31 EDT

Circ may be down 17 percent (uh, controlled! right!), and they still have Joel Stein writing for them, but at least there's one thing going right at Time: The softball team beat the New York Times last night, 20 to 11, to win the championship in their cute little media softball league. The trophy will be on display on the 22nd and 24th floors today, so if you're in the building, head over and pay tribute, okay?

Penny-Pinching 'Times' Plays Hardball, Employees Play Nothing

abalk2 — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 15:10:19 EST

Bad news for the boys and girls of summer at The Paper of Record:

The New York Times is cancelling the softball team. An H.R. representative told me that the company is no longer paying for employee activities like this, if we want to continue we'll have to pay for it ourselves. The registration fee is $2000, and they're not willing to part with it.

This is a shame, especially when you consider the 30% growth in online revenues they predicted. (Oooh, we can't wait until next week's annual report, currently in edits!) Now we'll never see John Noble Wilford's gyroball!

Media Softball: Satire Always Wins

Jessica — Mon, 21 Aug 2006 10:35:08 EDT

Last Thursday, the staffs from the Observer and New York magazine took to the softball field; it would be no small exaggeration to say the prettily pink players from the Observer had their witty asses handed to them on the proverbial plate (we imagine that if New York were to actually use a plate for this purpose, it'd be an elegant piece of dinnerware from Kate Spade's Gramercy Park line as recommended by Strategist). The score was 15-10 and, as the Observer write-up indicates, the crushing loss stemmed from a shitty first inning that had the NYO down 9-0:

So: what if that terrible first inning had never happened? The arithmetically glib answer would be: a rousing 8 - 6 victory for the Salmon. Yet that doesn't get at the deeper issues—the possible acts of heroism that went undone, the mysterious feedback between success and confidence, confidence and success. In pursuit of those deeper—and, did we mention, space-filling?—truths, we convened a panel of participants to explore the question of what might have been.

The Observer's write-up really is worth a read; if the New York team weren't too busy bathing themselves in celebratory barrels of Domaines Ott, they might even enjoy the Look Book.

Observer Softball Report: What If 9-0 Never Happened?

Remainders: Too Hot to Fuck

Jessica — Thu, 03 Aug 2006 19:00:48 EDT

• The people have spoken. [Animal]
• Are Madonna and Guy Ritchie headed towards a divorce? And is floating such rumors part of new Observer owner Jared Kushner's hip-and-cool mandate? [Daily Transom]
• Speaking of J-Kush, homeboy was definitely not a team player last night when he missed the Observer's very first softball game, which they won over the alpha-males at Trader Monthly. Too bad three interns died from dehydration before the fifth inning. [Daily Transom]
• Today's Post, summed up in a single sentence: "Mel, Mel, Mel, do you mind if we call you sugar lips, Mel?" [NYP]
• We suspect former Sun columnist Pranay Gupte lives for little more than a soapbox; here's why he got fired from that other job. At least it doesn't involve signing your co-workers up for a dating service. [Pranay Gupte]
• And back to Madonna again, whose next reinvention will be in the form of Angelina Jolie. [Time]
• OMG CRISIS HEAT CLOSES TRADER JOE'S NO THAI LIME & CHILI PEANUTS FUUUUUCK! [Curbed]
• Mel Gibson provides the perfect opportunity to get wasted on company time as a part of an "investigation." A round of tequila shots in the name of journalism, please! [TVNewser]
• Just another tea party bay-by, two doped-out preppies going cray-zy. [You Tube]

'NYer' Softball Write-up Just Too Precious For Us To Ignore

abalk2 — Tue, 01 Aug 2006 13:20:48 EDT

One of the vows we took when coming aboard the good ship Gawker was to drastically reduce the coverage of media softball games: Frankly, we couldn't give a shit about a bunch of folks who all went to the same six schools tossing spherical objects around Central Park, and, really, we felt bad about taking material that should rightfully belong to Deadspin. This morning, however, we were forwarded Matt Dellinger's coverage of the recent New Yorker/Harper's outing, and, well, it's just so adorable that we have to share it with you. See, Matt wrote it up Harper's Index Style, which, if not necessarily comedy gold, is certainly comedy silver. After the jump, see what Conde Nast employees do instead of fixing up their website.

Softball Index

Number of runs scored by the Harper's softball team in a game against The New Yorker last week: 4
Number of runs scored by The New Yorker: 7
Games, in a row, won by the Small Fries: 6
Approximate temperature of Riverside park at game time, in degrees
Fahrenheit: 86
Number of steamy avenues and crooked stairs endured en route to the
game: 5, 45
Approximate volume of nearby salsa music, in decibels: 120
Approximate number of condescending comments about our "baby blue" shirts made by Harper's: 6
Average age, in years, of the mismatched t-shirts worn by our opponents: 7.4
Solo home runs hit by intern Robert "Memphis Slim" Snowden, in two at-bats: 2
Ratio of at bats to home runs for Snowden: 1:1
Percentage of at-bats in which Snowden hit a home run: 100
At-bats taken by "Slim" Tim Farrington: 2
Number of innings that ended abruptly with Farrington popping out to right field, of all places: 2
Number of strike-outs pitched by Mort "the Fort" Gerberg, in two innings: 2
Number of runs batted in by Lila "Bye-bye" Byock in her first season at-bat: 1
Approximate distance that a ball hit by Harper's editor Ben Metcalf traveled into left field, in feet: 120
Number of bases attempted by Metcalf on said hit: 3
Number of seconds by which the ball, thrown to Jonathan "boom boom" Shainin, beat Metcalf to third: .5
Number of screaming, jumping Harper's players who called their editor safe: 8
Number of Supreme Court Justices who would have called him out: 8
Number who are legally blind: 1 [ck?]
Number of runs ahead and beers consumed by myself when we let him keep the triple: 4, 2
Blocks we traveled by Subway to reach our usual post-game bar: 44
Other teams at Tap-a-Keg during the evening pizza hour: 3
Fraction of those teams who have faced The New Yorker this year: 2/3
Percentage of those who have defeated The New Yorker: 0
Odds that The New Yorker will defeat The Nation, according to Vegas bookies: 2:3
Minimum number of years since The New Yorker team has won seven straight games: 12
Minimum number of years I'll be talking about it, if we pull it off: 12

UPDATE: Not to be outdone on the web as they were on the field, Christian Lorentzen of Harper's chimes in with this dispatch. You see why we're trying to shy away from the softball coverage, kids? Anyway, here you go:

Harper's Magazine congratulates Harold Ross's comic book for adults, also known as The New Yorker, for its 7-4 victory over America's oldest monthly, extending its winning streak to six games. On the field the weekly displayed discipline, resolve, a sharp-shooting propensity for hitting line drives to right field, and classy new baby blue jerseys. Indeed, the Eustace Tillers' play was as dignified and polite as the prose that weekly emerges in its pages. Harper's ragtag squad, meanwhile, was not without flashes flamboyant—at times bordering on psychotic—brilliance. At the hot corner, third baseman Wyatt Mason displayed the same tenacity that earned his literary criticism a recent National Magazine Award. In deep left field, Annotators Captain Ben Austen and Ben "AK-47" Pauker effectively neutralized New Yorker slugger Josh Hersh's bombs. Offensively, the judges of Best American Sliding will no doubt take note of the surly, hobbling, Kirk Gibsonesque B.S. Metcalf's legging out a wallop to the gap in left for a disputed triple. The team's other tripler, publisher-cum-shortstop Rick MacArthur leant new credence to the player-manager model discredited decades back by Pete Rose. Harper's salutes New Yorker staff writer Mark Singer's valiant but failed slide into pitcher-VP Peter Kendall at home plate, and wishes him a quick recovery from the collision. And everyone in magazines knows the interns are our future, thus shoutouts to artful pitcher Katie Jentleson, Hillary "Swamp Thing" Elkins in right, and scoring Icelander Chantal Clarke. Finally, the Readings Section, this reporter included, intends to improve its fielding in future outings, lest it come to be known as The Balk of the Town.

Media Softball: Tom Hanks Waves Foam Finger for 'Vanity Fair' Victory

Jessica — Tue, 11 Jul 2006 11:50:33 EDT

While the rest of the country spent most of last week dressing their Roman-Candle wounds, the Vanity Fair softball team was making history on the diamond, schooling the world-renowned High Times Bonghitters, 8-5. The stoners took an early lead in the game, but it didn't take long for the Veefers to exact their vengeance for May's 13-4 loss to the Bonghitters.

So how did Vanity Fair manage such a tremendous comeback? Were the Veefers served pre-game HGH omelettes? Not so much. Instead, their sudden dominance was no doubt boosted by the magic of celebrity: Tom Hanks was in the stands, as his daughter Liz is the magazine's latest famous-spawn assistant. It's almost impossible to lose when you've got Jimmy Dugan on your side.

Softball 2006 [Vanity Fair]
Earlier: Gawker's Coverage of Media Softball

Media Softball: Battle of Jellinek; Felix Dennis to Wear Cheerleader Skirt

Jessica — Fri, 23 Jun 2006 10:12:51 EDT

There's a major showdown brewing for tonight: Dennis Publishing brothers Maxim and Stuff will take to the softball field for a fierce battle of Axe Body Wash-scented supremacy. The game takes on a new relevance, however, with the recent defection of former Stuff EIC Jimmy Jellinek to the top of Maxim's masthead, taking with him three former Stuff staffers. Thus the game ensures to be nothing more than a violent grudge match. The question, however, is not whether or not Stuff can win back its pride or if Maxim will smack them into submission — it's whether or not Jellinek will play. As we understand it, his editorial skills may be an asset, but Jellinek's athletic prowess helps no team.

Media Softball: CollegeHumor Out-Lads 'Maxim'

Jessica — Mon, 12 Jun 2006 17:25:07 EDT

In a stunningly average display of athletic prowess and a minimal-at-best understanding of slow-pitch softball, the boys (and solitary girl) of CollegeHumor.com held off a furious last-licks rally by Maxim to defeat the mag, 15-13.

A seemingly endless string of miscues (some the result of the water-logged Central Park field, others stemming from sheer incompetence) put CH in an 8-0 hole early in the game, but the squad got its shit together by the fourth inning, eventually taking the lead with RBIs from Michael Cascio, Josh Abrams, comedian Nick Kroll, ESPN mag's Neil Janowitz, and programmer Andrew Pile, who provided the only bit of offense from the Murderers' Row that is CH's vaunted tech department. Writer Streeter Seidell went hitless that inning, but he did manage to drink three beers and smoke eight cigarettes.

Throwing caution to the wind, both CH and Maxim were in blatant disregard of the NYC Department of Parks and Recreation's stringent open container policy, which may have had something to do with the deteriorating quality of play in the latter half of the game.

CollegeHumor's next game is against The Onion. Both teams are expected to pass next week's human growth hormone test.

Media Softball: Gawker Media Lets 'WSJ' Win

Jessica — Mon, 12 Jun 2006 10:13:02 EDT

Obviously, we love summer softball. We love it only slightly less when it requires that we be at Central Park at 11 AM, as we were on Saturday, to play the disturbingly nice kids from the Wall Street Journal.

The highlights: Deadspin's Will Leitch was 3-for-3 with three runs scored and several noteworthy errors. Former Oddjack editor A.J. Daulerio had a home run that was basically a dead sprint past countless out of position WSJ fielders. Gridkipper editor Chris Mohney played left field so deep that he was actually in Harlem, while 'skipper contributor Josh Stein kept the opposition confused by doing double back handsprings. Because Team Gawker is for everyone, CBS Public Eye producer Brian Montopoli made an excellent double play, and Consumerist's Ben Popken squatted nicely in the catcher's position. Due to the early hour, Gawker Media managing editor Lockhart Steele was a no-show, and yours truly, feeling cranky and frightened by the sunlight, headed back to bed in the fourth inning.

At the bottom of the second, Team Gawker was down 11-1, but by the end we rallied so our spanking was only slightly less painful, with a final score of 19-13. We're happy to take the loss — anything to help print people feel a little better about themselves.

Media Softball: 'VF' Beats Air America, Invents Witty, Alliterative Nicknames

Jesse — Tue, 06 Jun 2006 11:17:57 EDT

More mopping up this morning of last week's softball. Vanity Fair filed a report late yesterday on its Thursday-night drubbing of the Air America team — dubbed by the VF wits the "Pugnacious Progressives," "Blue-State Broadcasters," "Syndicated Seditionists," and "Left Dialers." Valiantly playing on the face of an impending deluge, VF and Air America held on reach the middle of the fourth, when the game ended in a 9-4 VF win. So how could it take from Thursday night till Monday afternoon to write up three and a half innings? The nicknames, clearly.

Softball 2006 [VF.com]

Media Softball: Bonghitters Keep Streak Alive, Mop Up WNYC

Jesse — Mon, 05 Jun 2006 13:15:08 EDT

In all the excitement Friday about Richard Johnson and Andy Pemberton and Leon Freilich's impending vacation, we somehow missed an important report in our inbox:

The legendary High Times bonghitters defeated the well-spoken kids from WNYC 9-2 last Thursday night, despite thunder, lightning, and enough rain to end the game after four and two-thirds innings. Meantime, we're finding it quite amusing the most diligent and responsible softball reports this summer are coming from the stoners. Ironic, ain't it?

Rainy Day Softball Stoners [Blooming Ideas]

Media Softball: Now With Long-Lead Production Sked

Jesse — Wed, 31 May 2006 17:45:17 EDT

One wouldn't accuse the Vanity Fair softball team of being prompt with its postgame reports — they work at a monthly, after all, and you know the flexible relationship those kinds of people have with deadlines — but you've got to give them some credit: They're now posting reports on the public VF site, and they've even got pictures. In the Veefers' Rashomonic look at last week's tilt against High Times, the Bonghitters still win but the prose is more flowery.

Also, we dig the Van Halenish t-shirts.

Softball 2006 [VF.com]
Earlier: Media Softball: Bonghitters Bogart the Veefers

Media Softball: 'BizWeek' Is Better Than 'WSJ'

Jesse — Tue, 30 May 2006 11:33:48 EDT

We missed this Friday because our email wasn't working quite right. (Today our web browser isn't working quite right. Fun!) But we know you don't want to be left behind on any details of media-softball season, so we must pass on news, even if a touch belatedly, that BusinessWeek pulled out a come-from-behind 9-8 victory over their rivals at The Wall Street Journal last week. So now you know who is clearly the superior source for business news.

BusinessWeek's triumphant email is after the jump.

From: Lowry, Tom
Sent: Friday, May 26, 2006 12:02 PM
Subject: A Huge Win for BW

BusinessWeek came up big last night in a 9 to 8 come-from-behind, bottom-of-the-last-inning win over arch-rival The Wall Street Journal on our home turf in Riverside Park.

When most business journalists were still busy covering the Enron verdict, the two leading publications had a more important priority, so the "send" keys got pushed a whole lot earlier on Thursday. Decked out in new jerseys, BW played The Journal tight through most of the game, thanks in large part to some well-executed plays to get the outs at home plate. Thank you, Mr. Hindo, for the heads-up play.

Relentless, the Journal pulled away in the seventh to take an 8 to 5 lead, and things were looking pretty gloomy. But we shook it off, and played a game of patience at the plate in a last ditch effort to take home a rare win against The Journal. A walk was followed by another, and another. Runs scored. And suddenly we were looking at a tie game with star hitter (his fielding ain't too shabby either) Pradeep Varghese coming to the plate. Pra swatted one through the gap between first and second, bringing Geoff "The Big Red Machine" Gloeckler home for the winning run. All in all, a great win for BW against a great competitor. BW's record goes to 3-1.

Thanks to everybody who came out to play and cheer: Brian Hindo, Geoff Gloeckler, Del Hawbaker, Edith Gutierrez, Jan Simmonds, Jeff Fox, Jonathan Byrne, his girlfriend Jessica, Jay Petrow (& his kids William and Anna), Janie Ho, Kyle Sullivan, Martin and Jose Sanchez, Pra Varghese and John Byrne (our Six Sigma man in the dugout. Did I see him email from his Treo a quick plea for advice to Jack and Suzy when things looked dire in the top of the seventh?).

MVPS: Jose Sanchez (he threw 'em) and Brian Hindo (he caught 'em) for those highlight reel plays at the plate.

UP NEXT: MLB.COM next Thursday, June 1, on our field in Riverside Park.

Media Softball: Bonghitters Bogart the Veefers

Jesse — Fri, 26 May 2006 11:13:56 EDT

The High Times softball team continues to steamroll its way through the media competition, pulling out a 13-4 win over the Vanity Fair squad last night. Editor-at-large Steve Bloom has a wrapup of the game, but there's no mention of VF's sartorial choices. We presume Graydon's kids wore tartan-plaid uniforms, and we further presume they looked spectacular.

Bonghitters Rout Vanity Fair [Blooming Ideas]

Media Softball: 'High Times' Smokes 'The New Yorker'

Jesse — Wed, 10 May 2006 11:46:15 EDT

As if isn't bad enough that The New Yorker took home only two National Magazine Awards last night, the far worse news is that the mag's softball team suffered its eighth straight loss to the fabled High Times Bonghitters. One bright spot: Apparently they've got spiffy new personalized uniforms.

Bonghitters' Streak to 3-0 [Blooming Ideas]

Media Softball: 'High Times' Beats 'The Onion'; 'BizWeek' Beats 'Paris Review'

Jesse — Mon, 08 May 2006 10:30:19 EDT

We've fallen behind in reporting on the fledging 2006 media-softball season, but we're determined to make it up to you. First, and most interestingly, High Times has graciously begun providing newsreel-style "Potcasts" of their games. We're duly impressed with the craftsmanship, but, even more than that, we're impressed with the thing's actual existence. We could never motivate to get something like that finished, even if we were sober.

BusinessWeek's less-streaming report is after the jump.

RIVERSIDE PARK — A late-game rally wasn't enough for the Paris Review on Thursday night, as BusinessWeek rocked the highfalutin literary world and won its home opener, 13 to 5.

Dave Purcell pitched a gem on BusinessWeek's newly renovated, all-turf field, keeping the Paris Review hitless through the first three innings. Martin Sanchez and Burt Helm scored a home run each, while veterans Pradeep Varghese, Jonathan Byrne, Jen Girardier, Jan Simmonds, Jay Petrow, Craig Bell, and Jeff Fox all delivered with their usual aggressive, yet courteous, style of play. Promising rookies Kyle Sullivan and Janie Ho also put in solid performances. Brian Hindo hit into a fielder's choice, and did it with dignity. Well played ball!

We hope to see everyone next week when we take on DC Comics. The rest of the sked is below:

Thursday, April 20 (72nd St.) — Practice
Thursday, April 27 - High Times HT 12, BW 8, L
Thursday, May 4 (Riverside, 107th St.) - The Paris Review BW 15 PR 5, W
Thursday, May 11 —- DC Comics (6 p.m., DeWitt Clinton)
Thursday, May 18 (72nd St.) PRACTICE
Thursday, May 25 (Riverside, 107th St.) - The Wall Street Journal
Thursday, June 1 (Riverside, 107th St.) - Major League Baseball
Thursday, June 8 (Riverside, 107th St.) - Maxim
Thursday, June 15 (Riverside, 107th St.) - DC Comics
Thursday, June 22 (Riverside, 107th St.) - BusinessWeek biz side
Thursday, June 29 (72nd St.) PRACTICE
Thursday, July 6 (Riverside, 107th St.) - WNYC
Saturday, July 8 - (North Meadow) Wall Street Journal
Thursday, July 13 (Riverside, 107th St.) - High Times
Thursday, July 20 (Riverside, 107th St.) - Vanity Fair
Thursday, July 27 (Riverside, 107th St.) - Air America Radio
Thursday, Aug. 3 (Riverside, 107th St.) - The New York Times
Thursday, Aug. 10 (Riverside, 107th St.) - Fortune
Thursday, Aug. 17 (Riverside, 107th St.) - Dow Jones Wires
Thursday, Aug. 24 (Riverside, 107th St.) - BusinessWeek biz side

Gawker's Week in Review: Fake Writers Will Never Learn

Jessica — Fri, 28 Apr 2006 18:40:28 EDT

• Harvard sophomore Kaavya Viswanathan gets spanked for plagiarizing her debut novel. Little, Brown enters shame spiral for having given an underage hack a two book, $500K deal — they cope by pulling her bestseller from the shelves.
• People names its "beautiful people" and is rumored to have shelled out some $700K for access to the Brangelina.
• As Rolling Stone's 1,000th issue party draws near, some Wenner proles lament their lack of invites. At least RS staffers scored the golden tickets.
• Rosie O'Donnell is slated to replace Meredith Vieira on The View, ensuring that the show is a must-see for those looking for some morning show bloodlust.
• Time's top dog Jim Kelly may be moving on as early as June. Oh, Santa, please don't go.
• In other speculative job changes, is Lloyd Grove considering ditching the Daily News for the Post and Page Six?
• Thank God it's spring — media softball is back, and just as mandatory as ever.
• You can see Anderson Cooper's memoir, but they'll have to kill you afterwards.
• Gawker mascot Andrew Krucoff gets a new job at the 92nd Street Y, meaning that our consciences may finally rest. For now, anyhow.
• If there's one sort of error from the Post that we can never, ever forgive, it's misreporting the size of Bill Clinton's penis. This is America, people — knowing presidential cock is like knowing the Pledge of Allegiance.

Media Softball Season, Now Puffing Along

Jesse — Fri, 28 Apr 2006 09:20:24 EDT

The first media softball of the season arrived this morning:

The legendary High Times Bonghitters softball team opened their 15th season with a 12-8 come-from-behind victory over Business Week. Next week's game is against The Onion.

Got more games? More details? Keep us posted, players...

Bonghitters Win Opener [Bloomingideas]